mylittleone Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He wants to be exclusive fwb, but not bf/gf. Surely this agreement is so he can have his cake, eat it and have everyone else's share. Am I missing something, i thought the whole point of fwb is so u can see / date / sleep with anyone else. (Condoms obviously )
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Not necessarily. FWB is to have sex on regular basis with no strings attached. You can make it exclusive for safety reasons. Condoms do not protect you from everything especially if you perform unprotected oral sex on each other.
Author mylittleone Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 Not necessarily. FWB is to have sex on regular basis with no strings attached. You can make it exclusive for safety reasons. Condoms do not protect you from everything especially if you perform unprotected oral sex on each other. Oddly he is never worried about the safety side (why I always insist on condoms)
Popsicle Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I am no expert on FWB, but it appears to me that some people are commitment-phobes, and want this arrangement and want it to be exclusive. Some are just temporary commitment-phobes, as in, they have other things going on in their life right now that don't allow them to properly date someone and be emotionally open, but they plan to do that one day, once they get themselves all sorted out. Others are lifetime commitment-phobes, as in, this guy or girl will never date anybody properly, and so they prefer an ongoing exclusive FWB. Unfortunately, you can not tell the difference between these two. Then there are those who, in my opinion, do the FWB thing properly, which is like you said - you are BOTH free to see other people. And yes, you're going to drop the FWB as soon as you find someone more dateable. None of this, "I can't be exclusive with you, but you have to be exclusive with me" stuff. I assume that people who do this, simply operate by the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, so they can sleep at night.
Author mylittleone Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 I am no expert on FWB, but it appears to me that some people are commitment-phobes, and want this arrangement and want it to be exclusive. Some are just temporary commitment-phobes, as in, they have other things going on in their life right now that don't allow them to properly date someone and be emotionally open, but they plan to do that one day, once they get themselves all sorted out. Others are lifetime commitment-phobes, as in, this guy or girl will never date anybody properly, and so they prefer an ongoing exclusive FWB. Unfortunately, you can not tell the difference between these two. Then there are those who, in my opinion, do the FWB thing properly, which is like you said - you are BOTH free to see other people. And yes, you're going to drop the FWB as soon as you find someone more dateable. None of this, "I can't be exclusive with you, but you have to be exclusive with me" stuff. I assume that people who do this, simply operate by the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, so they can sleep at night. He would be exclusive (I believe that, know him for years) however I know he would drop me if a girl came along that he wanted to try and date He does struggle with commitment. And I know he has been hurt.
Popsicle Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He would be exclusive (I believe that, know him for years) however I know he would drop me if a girl came along that he wanted to try and date He does struggle with commitment. And I know he has been hurt. You shouldn't assume he's exclusive. You don't know until he explicitly says it with his words. You two need to talk frankly and make an agreement.
elaine567 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He wants to be exclusive fwb, but not bf/gf. Surely this agreement is so he can have his cake, eat it and have everyone else's share. Am I missing something, i thought the whole point of fwb is so u can see / date / sleep with anyone else. (Condoms obviously ) In this case you are an exclusive FWB, but if someone else takes his eye he can go off and have a relationship with her and ditch you in a second, as you are just a FWB. He has no obligation to officially break up with you, or tell you he is meeting others for dates, or have to take you out, or do anything else couples do. As long as he is NOT actually sleeping with others, your "contract" stands. He may be very nice, he may cuddle you, he may act like a bf, but if he has decided you are a fwb, then do not see this for more than it is. Do not see this as a stepping stone to a real relationship, most fwb relationships exist because one or both, do not see the other as gf/bf material.
Author mylittleone Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 In this case you are an exclusive FWB, but if someone else takes his eye he can go off and have a relationship with her and ditch you in a second, as you are just a FWB. He has no obligation to officially break up with you, or tell you he is meeting others for dates, or have to take you out, or do anything else couples do. As long as he is NOT actually sleeping with others, your "contract" stands. He may be very nice, he may cuddle you, he may act like a bf, but if he has decided you are a fwb, then do not see this for more than it is. Do not see this as a stepping stone to a real relationship, most fwb relationships exist because one or both, do not see the other as gf/bf material. You are 100% right, I needed to read this - thank you.
phineas Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He would be exclusive (I believe that, know him for years) however I know he would drop me if a girl came along that he wanted to try and date He does struggle with commitment. And I know he has been hurt. and you can do the same. That is really what FWB's is for. One person you are friends with & have sex with when you are single so neither of you are sleeping around. You do this while you look for someone to have a relationship with. If both parties are cool with it then it works out just fine. Sometimes someone gets attached. This is why you only hook up a few times a month at most. If you don't want that then don't do it. Women think they can sex a man into a relationship but it rarely works out.
Zahara Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 I agreed to be his fwb in January, in hopes to become his gf (yes I was one of those women) and even as fwb he played games,refused to ask to hook up but was always willing when I asked. This was from your past thread a week or so ago. It would be best to just eliminate these ideas or even contemplate understanding them. Serves no purpose at this point. Best to move on and seek what you desire rather than settle.
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