Is this Sugar Dating or Not? (Miami Music Week)

March 5, 2016

Well, I haven't gone through with a pay for play sugar dating situation yet. Been too busy.

I do have my date for Miami Music Week set up though.

She's a girl I've spent a weekend alone with before. 24, fun, huge party girl (perfect for a week long party), very hot and in shape, big fake boobs. She is very affectionate, touchy feely and really excites me. She is all of a sudden a minor celebrity now that a video she made went viral.

I feel like it will be annoying if a lot of people recognize her though...

The above description shows she meets those impossible Loveweary standards.

She isn't getting a penny to come. She is getting fun, good times, sex and endless partying in a warm, sunny tropical environment. Downtime on uninhabited islands.

Here's the financial side... this is a factor in determining if it's sugar, I'm thinking, although I'm doing all of this anyway and want the right person to do it with. Numbers are rounded.

1) F* You All Access Passes that allow you to get into all the best parties no matter if they are sold out, if there is a bouncer or a line. Show the pass, say F* You and go right in. $500 per pass, $1000 total. Passes get you entry to the daytime pool parties and club parties at night. Everything sells out, so these are amazing.

2) Boat isn't ready for high maintenance chicks yet. $1000 Airbnb

3) Food/Drinks....and she can drink. Drinks $20 a pop. I recall $100 mojito pitchers last year too. This will run into $1000+ Food is pricey too. May stock the air bnb with groceries to offset eating out all the time.

4) Ultra Music Festival - Plan to go on Sunday when people are burnt out and selling their passes. $200 hopefully. They only sell full festival passes, not single day passes, so a lot of people are done by Sunday or can't attend and sell them.

5) Her flight. $400-500 I'm sure. 2,300 miles each way.

Really, the things that I'm paying for because she's coming are double of everything, food, airbnb and flight.

If I took the infamous yoga chick, who is local, I'd need no airbnb, less food and no flight. She has been texting non stop, I'm sure trying to go to this stuff because she knows it's coming up.

There is a 3rd girl who wants to come early in the week, but last time iwas with her, i got some kind of burning rash on my lips after oral. I'm not touching her. She pays for all her own stuff and just wants to hook up. But I'm scared of that. lol

So.... if I'm already doing Miami Music Week and have additional expenses due to having a date come in from across the country... but she is getting no financial compensation...

Is this considered sugar, or just normal dating where a guy pays the way?

Very grey area. Looking for a consensus...

Edited March 5, 2016 by loveweary11

March 5, 2016

Wouldn't this be a good place to pick up women? Why go with a woman at all? Wouldn't it be better to go alone or with one of your boys? Or, is everyone there already there with someone? (lame)

March 5, 2016

Well, I haven't gone through with a pay for play sugar dating situation yet. Been too busy.

I do have my date for Miami Music Week set up though.

She's a girl I've spent a weekend alone with before. 24, fun, huge party girl (perfect for a week long party), very hot and in shape, big fake boobs. She is very affectionate, touchy feely and really excites me. She is all of a sudden a minor celebrity now that a video she made went viral.

I feel like it will be annoying if a lot of people recognize her though...

The above description shows she meets those impossible Loveweary standards.

She isn't getting a penny to come. She is getting fun, good times, sex and endless partying in a warm, sunny tropical environment. Downtime on uninhabited islands.

Here's the financial side... this is a factor in determining if it's sugar, I'm thinking, although I'm doing all of this anyway and want the right person to do it with. Numbers are rounded.

1) F* You All Access Passes that allow you to get into all the best parties no matter if they are sold out, if there is a bouncer or a line. Show the pass, say F* You and go right in. $500 per pass, $1000 total. Passes get you entry to the daytime pool parties and club parties at night. Everything sells out, so these are amazing.

2) Boat isn't ready for high maintenance chicks yet. $1000 Airbnb

3) Food/Drinks....and she can drink. Drinks $20 a pop. I recall $100 mojito pitchers last year too. This will run into $1000+ Food is pricey too. May stock the air bnb with groceries to offset eating out all the time.

4) Ultra Music Festival - Plan to go on Sunday when people are burnt out and selling their passes. $200 hopefully. They only sell full festival passes, not single day passes, so a lot of people are done by Sunday or can't attend and sell them.

5) Her flight. $400-500 I'm sure. 2,300 miles each way.

Really, the things that I'm paying for because she's coming are double of everything, food, airbnb and flight.

If I took the infamous yoga chick, who is local, I'd need no airbnb, less food and no flight. She has been texting non stop, I'm sure trying to go to this stuff because she knows it's coming up.

There is a 3rd girl who wants to come early in the week, but last time iwas with her, i got some kind of burning rash on my lips after oral. I'm not touching her. She pays for all her own stuff and just wants to hook up. But I'm scared of that. lol

So.... if I'm already doing Miami Music Week and have additional expenses due to having a date come in from across the country... but she is getting no financial compensation...

Is this considered sugar, or just normal dating where a guy pays the way?

Very grey area. Looking for a consensus...

Neither? Both? Does it matter, even? How is that a grey area?

March 5, 2016

Normal dating, but also tricking. Which is why normal dating is often not a winning proposition for men. But, that's another topic for another day.

Popsicle has a great point. Why take sand to the beach?

March 5, 2016

The amount you spend doesn’t matter. It depends on your thinking. Think about contracts.

If you’re expending to purchase/exchange, and you disclose that, you have an arm’s length, fair exchange with known expectations.

If you’re expending to purchase/exchange and you don’t disclose that, you have manipulation, deceit, disrespect.

If you’re expending to have fun and have that person with you in activities, it’s a date-- but you can’t expect that person to put out or view that time as providing a service.

March 5, 2016

Wouldn't this be a good place to pick up women? Why go with a woman at all? Wouldn't it be better to go alone or with one of your boys? Or, is everyone there already there with someone? (lame)

Yes. Best places ever, but I'm there for the music and fun.

I don't like playing pick up games because this is my one big party of the year and I like sharing experiences like this with others.

I don't want to spoil the fun, which has nothing to do with meeting new women at all.

This girl I'm bringing is down for getting with other girls anyway, so I'll just let her do the heavy lifting on the meeting new women thing.

I'm also very, very uncomfortable going to things like this alone.

Almost did on New Years and started a thread about it.

I have no guy friends. All women.

March 5, 2016

The amount you spend doesn’t matter. It depends on your thinking. Think about contracts.

If you’re expending to purchase/exchange, and you disclose that, you have an arm’s length, fair exchange with known expectations.

If you’re expending to purchase/exchange and you don’t disclose that, you have manipulation, deceit, disrespect.

If you’re expending to have fun and have that person with you in activities, it’s a date-- but you can’t expect that person to put out or view that time as providing a service.

Ahhhh. yes.

This is the answer, I think. It's simply how both parties look at it.

I see it as bringing a guaranteed fun person along with me to something she will love.

We have already had sex several times, so we want to do that, apart from this huge date.

Good points!

March 5, 2016

Oh, loveweary..... why must you make everything so complicated?

March 5, 2016

Normal dating, but also tricking. Which is why normal dating is often not a winning proposition for men. But, that's another topic for another day.

By the way, I would love to hear more about this, if you care to start a thread about it. I have no idea what you're talking about. What is in the menz heads?....

March 5, 2016

Oh, loveweary..... why must you make everything so complicated?

I agree with Pop. Why don't you just go with the flow and see what happens. You don't have to put a label on everything you do. You seem to overanalyse relationships a great deal.

March 5, 2016

Not sugar dating. Nor gambling your money.

March 5, 2016

The fact that you will apparently have to cover every expense she has for the entire trip, including every bite of food she puts in her mouth and every drink she has, makes it seem like a sugar deal to me.

Has she offered to pay anything? I mean, why can't she at least cover her own plane ticket or buy some of her own food? Seems like you'd be better off to take a local girl.

March 5, 2016

I agree with Pop. Why don't you just go with the flow and see what happens. You don't have to put a label on everything you do. You seem to overanalyse relationships a great deal.

Because I'm curious?

I'd like to find where the line between regular dating and sugar dating is.

Where the Love Shack membership defines that line, how people reconcile the man paying for the date with the man paying for a sugar baby.

It's an interesting topic.

I'm not analyzing anything. I'm going to Miami Music Week with a super fun chick.

I'm a curious person by nature. Curious where the line is drawn between paying for dates and paying for sugar.

They are pretty close to each other.

March 5, 2016

If you take her shopping and buy her stuff beyond like flowers or some inexpensive trinket to remember you by, then I would say you're crossing over into being a sugar daddy.

March 5, 2016

Here's how you tell. Would the girl you're bringing cook dinner for you at her house for free? Would the girl you're bringing share expenses? Does the girl your bringing come over to just watch a movie on the couch, for free? Have you ever had sex with her without having to spend money on her first? Would she attend a wedding with you without being paid?

She may or may not be a sugar baby. If she is, she's probably listed on a service. But she sounds like an escort [] if she's only going with you because you're paying for everything and that's how any contact with her has been so far.

Edited March 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

March 5, 2016

If she is a regular girl, thinking she is just going on a trip to Miami Music weekend that is being paid for by some guy she is "dating", then she will most likely be appalled at the suggestion she is a "sugar babe" in the true sense of the term.

If she is accustomed to being paid in money or in kind for sexual favours then, you may correct that this arrangement smacks a little of sugar.

March 5, 2016

The fact that you will apparently have to cover every expense she has for the entire trip, including every bite of food she puts in her mouth and every drink she has, makes it seem like a sugar deal to me.

Has she offered to pay anything? I mean, why can't she at least cover her own plane ticket or buy some of her own food? Seems like you'd be better off to take a local girl.

I agree 100% w clia. Hey weren't you the guy who has all these women just coming at him but you're too apathetic to bother? With this in mind then, why go through the bother of spending 4 figures to entertain a girl. It just seems to me to be a poor use of resources, especially w your unfinished boat. (Even if she will help you meet other women.) Edited March 5, 2016 by Imajerk17

March 5, 2016

Since you are sharing how much money you are spending, it's not related to "real dating" at least as I've ever known it. I have no idea what you'd call it.

Why didn't you just take one of the dozens of girls who are throwing themselves at you nonstop though?

March 5, 2016

The fact that you will apparently have to cover every expense she has for the entire trip, including every bite of food she puts in her mouth and every drink she has, makes it seem like a sugar deal to me.

Has she offered to pay anything? I mean, why can't she at least cover her own plane ticket or buy some of her own food?

She is an extremely hot and famous girl, and she probably has a full life and plenty of guys in it. I'm sure the OP had to make an impressive offer for her to set aside this big of a chunk of her time to be with him. It's not like he's her man. She has a personal life and friends, stuff to do on weekends etc, no doubt.

March 5, 2016

Ahhhh. yes.

This is the answer, I think. It's simply how both parties look at it.

I see it as bringing a guaranteed fun person along with me to something she will love.

We have already had sex several times, so we want to do that, apart from this huge date.

Good points!

Yep. The law is beautiful. It's the result of centuries of people thinking about and figuring out how people interact- and not tiptoeing around or freaking out.

To play with that some more....

On the bolded point, I want to point out... from a contract perspective (i.e. reason ), you're proceeding on what would be called implied terms or course of conduct. Implied terms and assumptions about course of conduct are disputable, unclear! Only express (actually stated) terms are clear! So, if you're expecting certain conduct based upon what's happened in the past, realize that you're not in the clarity realm, so you might want to "probe" whether there is agreement, such as by saying sexy I-can't-wait-to-get-you-in-bed type comments.

Personally, I LOVE men who are clear. I see them as confident, respectful and strong. They're SO sexy to me. I hate tiptoeing, obscure assumers. They either haven't thought about what the heck they're doing, they lack self-awareness or they're trying to manipulate people. Gah! ( I am single, by the way! )

March 5, 2016

Excellent advice, BlueIris.

I had a natural inclination to start the flirty talk up with her very soon. It's part of building the suspense/tension. A must!

I like to blatantly tip toe though... sort of joking/flirting/they get where I'm going.

A little more playfulness than "I'm going to bang you. " lmao I like to get them giggling about it.

But the groundwork has been laid by the time we're together.

PS: I can see my ignore list is working well. Shows who posted, but not what they posted. A great feature.

March 5, 2016

Because I'm curious?

I'd like to find where the line between regular dating and sugar dating is.

Where the Love Shack membership defines that line, how people reconcile the man paying for the date with the man paying for a sugar baby.

It's an interesting topic.

I'm not analyzing anything. I'm going to Miami Music Week with a super fun chick.

I'm a curious person by nature. Curious where the line is drawn between paying for dates and paying for sugar.

They are pretty close to each other.

Sugar babies have a life that is totally separate from the man who is paying for sex with them.

Dating involves two people who want to get to know each other better, and if things go well, their lives will combine. They don't think about what they're getting in exchange for something (usually).

March 5, 2016

What if she were to accept your invitation and then wasn't in the mood to have sex?

March 5, 2016

Here's how you tell. Would the girl you're bringing cook dinner for you at her house for free? Would the girl you're bringing share expenses? Does the girl your bringing come over to just watch a movie on the couch, for free? Have you ever had sex with her without having to spend money on her first? Would she attend a wedding with you without being paid?

She may or may not be a sugar baby. If she is, she's probably listed on a service. But she sounds like an escort [] if she's only going with you because you're paying for everything and that's how any contact with her has been so far.

Also: would you do all this if you weren't expecting sex from her? Do you just like to spend time with her?

March 5, 2016

Dating involves two people who want to get to know each other better, and if things go well, their lives will combine. They don't think about what they're getting in exchange for something (usually).

Unless...that isn't the goal of either party.

I don't want to combine lives or have a future with her and I'm pretty sure she doesn't want one with me.

Neither is thinking about an exchange. We're just looking to have fun in the moment for a week.

I guess these guidelines you posted are why it's a gray area. It doesn't fit standard dating (no goals), doesn't fit sugar dating (no money for sex) and I'm paying for the whole thing because she's not well off.

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Is this Sugar Dating or Not? (Miami Music Week)

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