awkwardandhandsome Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 So I have a couple of questions and I want to see if I can get any advice. So my ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, she left me for some guy she used to go to college with. Its so hard to get over it because I feel so lonely. I am getting better by the weeks go on but I have this feeling of loneliness. In past relationships in college, I would get over it quickly because I could meet another girl easily. I would say I'm a pretty good looking guy and never had trouble until now, and its because I'm not in an environment where I can meet girls (ex: highschool, college, work alone) Now I'm working, living at home and going to community college in may. This is the first time in my life where I don't have somebody to move on to and its really hard. I can see she moved on and she's happy but I'm not. I know I can't get over it because I can't find anyone else, for example I was talking to this girl I met over tinder and it lasted a week and half but in that week I felt better, I felt like I could get rid of this lonely feeling. So my questions are... 1. Is there anyway I can be content with being alone? 2. Is there anyway I can meet girls, without being 21? 3. Have you ever dated a girl that you met in class? 4. What should I do? any advice will be appreciated!
basil67 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 What you should do is address your friendships. Hanging out with friends not only stops you from being lonely, but also opens the door to meeting women. 2
Ami1uwant Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Unsure how old you are now..... Generally after around 26 or so it gets harder as your friends start yo marry off thus not as much socializing and chances to meet people. It's easier in college because women aren't tied yo a career and thus are usually out socializing If you are in a larger city people may wait till early 30s before they start to marry off. Once you get past that point it comes fine yo random meetings unless you use online dating sites or through organizations you are active in where you become friends with many people then through this friendship it could turn I yo a relationship or they may set you up eith a friend of theirs.
joseb Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 The main advise I'd give is don't look to swing from one branch to another just to avoid being alone. 4
Arieswoman Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 awkwardandhandsome, There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The loneliest time in my life was when I was married to an emotionally unavailable man. As others have said "monkey-branching" isn't the answer. Take up hobbies, sports and interests, travel, do all the things you wanted to do, take up volunteer work. That way you'll meet like-minded people and can "network". You can do this. Good luck. 2
loveweary11 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Do whatever people say to do here, but in addition to all of that advice... It just takes time. Eventually, it goes away and you become yourself again.
risjurad Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 1. Is there anyway I can be content with being alone? 2. Is there anyway I can meet girls, without being 21? 3. Have you ever dated a girl that you met in class? 4. What should I do? any advice will be appreciated! 1) Find hobbies, and do stuff that's just otherwise related to your career and advance that 2) I'm in my 30s, and I've got an uphill battle being in a remote, small town. Sorry. Can't really help you there! All I can say is to don't be afraid to hit on girls. Worst that happens, you get rejected... nothing else would've been different 3) No. Similar to #2, I regret not pursuing this more 4) See #1 For me, many of the folks I knew growing up are already married, or with kids. I try not to let that get to me. Otherwise, I am prepared to be single for the rest of my life... just to "play it safe".
mortensorchid Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 I have some news for you, guy. The #1 thing that people complain about when they are single is being single. And the #1 thing married people complain about is being married. Fact. The grass is not greener, it's just grass. Remember that your past relationships did not work because of some reason. You and the other person were not right for each other, had you stayed with them what would it be like today? Probably misery and disappointment. The future? Faghetaboutit. You're going to be lonely, you're going to be hurt (in ways you didn't think were possible), you're going to be embittered, you're going to be happy at times, you're going to try and you're going to fail, you're going to try and succeed. And you're going to go for YEARS without someone in your life. If there was an answer, for you or anyone else, as to where and how one can go to meet The One or even good people to be friends with, I would tell you. But I don't have that answer. No one does. All I can say is keep moving forward. 2
ff12343 Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 The grass is not greener, it's just grass I really like this. I'm stealing it.
Blanco Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 The last year has been the most challenging of my life. Major changes, enduring times; even the enjoyable stuff has had this slight aftertaste because I still feel the overarching void left by moving on from my girlfriend and two children. But I've resisted any temptation to seek out a new partner, because I know that there's a lot of self-improvement I wanted and needed to take care of before I got into a healthy romantic relationship. It's been tough, especially knowing that my ex found a new guy almost immediately and so she's not had to deal with the tribulations that come from leaving a serious LTR. Still, I trust the process and believe that my foregoing certain immediate pleasures will pay off in the long haul. My ex has almost never been single, and so, despite being EUA, she's not really capable of being on her own. I don't want to be like that. I know that the right person will add happiness to my life, but I don't want to tie up my happiness entirely in having a person, ya know? Some people are capable of finding new partners with minimal time in between and make the transition seamlessly. But sometimes I think those people are depriving themselves of building a solid internal foundation that permits them to feel content even if they aren't in a romantic relationship. 1
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