crushedinthegut Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 We dated for several months. We met family members he asked to be my boyfriend so we could be on the same page in the relationship. Then just the other day, he became distant and finally I call him to see what is going on. He goes, I don't want to date anymore I have been thinking about this for awhile and I did not know when I would say it. He also says I just don't want to date but not just me but ANYONE right now but that does not mean i don't nothing to do with you. Shocked, I paused and said well if you felt that strongly about it why did we make immediate plans the day prior ( he brought it up). Next thing I know the following days since- he is calling me and texting me. Finally I asked for my stuff back. He goes okay I will come by your house and then continues to talk *perplexed*. So, he was supposed to come tonight and meet up with me and also give my things back. So, i text him and said I am still up just let me know when you are close. Then he responds.. lets meet tomorrow have an emergency. I was like okay. Next thing I know he calls me and tells me exactly what the emergency was and said he will talk to me later. At this point, I am not sure what to think anymore. We break up but he constantly messages me. I am very crushed--- I am at the point where I want my stuff back and he can either leave me alone for good or tell me what is on his mind so we can actually talk about things like adults and possibly get back together. so upset and confused. ugghhh
Zahara Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 (edited) I am at the point where I want my stuff back and he can either leave me alone for good or tell me what is on his mind so we can actually talk about things like adults and possibly get back together. so upset and confused. ugghhh Then you tell him to mail your things or have a friend pick them up from him. Or have him box your things and drop at your doorstep. You can box his stuff and have someone drop it at his doorstep or mail it back to him. People use "stuff" as an excuse to keep the door open. He's already told you, just days ago that he doesn't want to be with you. Nothing's changed. It's up to YOU to cut contact. You think him engaging you means something more. You think it may mean he wants to get back. It doesn't. Dumpers in their own way struggle to let go, even when they've initiated the ending. He's grown comfortable with you, a source for comfort for him, someone that pays him attention, etc. And letting all that go is hard. Don't be there to soften the blow. Stop holding "stuff" hostage. And strict NC moving forward. Edited March 5, 2016 by Zahara 1
Author crushedinthegut Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 He is 20 minutes away and i need my things for school. So I need it now. Like I said-- if he had more to say he needs to tell me if not and i get my things back I am not being bothered anymore. I can't ..to me it seems like it is getting warmer and he wants more options with me on the damn side. Nope, never.
Zahara Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 He is 20 minutes away and i need my things for school. So I need it now. Like I said-- if he had more to say he needs to tell me if not and i get my things back I am not being bothered anymore. I can't ..to me it seems like it is getting warmer and he wants more options with me on the damn side. Nope, never. He has nothing more to say. He was very clear about ending it. Tell him to leave it at your doorstep. There is no need for a face to face.
spriggan2 Posted March 5, 2016 Posted March 5, 2016 Hey sorry, it must really suck to be broken up with out of the blue. I sense that you are upset and that continued contact with him is only going to worsen things if he wants out of a committed relationship. I would recommend making it clear that you don't want to stay in touch. Get your stuff from him as quickly as possible and block him out as best you can. Might take a bit to go through with it, but the sooner the better.
Author crushedinthegut Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 def. I am getting my school things tomorrow. I can't have him leave it out front or my things will get stollen and I can't have anyone pick it up as all my friends of at least an hour away.
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