Relationship With A 'Daddy Issues' Girl [Experience]

[Revenant22]

Hi all,

 

I've just come out of a 6 month relationship with a 19 year old girl who unfortunately, was a victim of a physically/verbally abusive father. Now, I just just want to say I don't like the term 'daddy issues,' as it seems somewhat disrespectful to categorise unfortunate men/women who have had such experiences into a group which is somewhat 'frowned' upon by others. (Not by everyone, but a lot of people.)

 

NOTE - I want to make clear, in a relationship both parties make mistakes, and neither is perfect. By describing my experience below I want to make it clear that I was by no means perfect, and made mistakes and most importantly it is not my intention to make an EXAMPLE of this person.

 

I'm also not sharing this to 'scare' people away from potential partners who have such issues, or current partners. I'm just sharing an experience that may be of value to some people in knowing how such issues can affect a relationship. I will split the thread into sections and give a timeline to the events to make for easier reading, and as I say, I hope this might be of some benefit to people out there.

 

Section 1 - Introduction

 

A little about myself: I'm a 23 year old Engineering student, in my fifth year of my studies (I graduate in May). It's been a long five years, where I've dated a few girls, had some casual experiences, but never a relationship. I've never been in 'love,' before. I purposely avoided getting into a committed relationship from 19-22 years old because I didn't want to affect my studies, or my own goals (I'm also a musician, soccer player.) When I turned 23, I begun to feel like it was time to try a relationship. I had been single for a long time, and was mentally/emotionally ready to 'give' to another person having found my own identity and secure footing. Aside from my own personal qualities, I think it is worth mentioning, I was raised in a good home, with excellent parents, and a great sister. We are still a close family, and I still live with my parents.

 

So to begin, I needed to date to find the 'right' girl right? My own friends had shown me the technological advances made in 'online dating' and even though I initially rejected the concept, I begun to use 'Tinder.' To my mind, it was nothing more than a hook up app, with a sexual undertone at all times rather than anything else.

 

Section 2 - Tinder

 

July 2015

 

I hated the application from day 1! Felt incredibly shallow and appearance based. I had gotten a couple of dozen matches in the first few days but was just about finished with the app. Around mid-July I can remember deciding to delete the app. It's such a coincidence, but just BEFORE I was about to delete the app, I matched with a girl, who would become my girlfriend for the next 6 months. No added drama intended!

 

I liked her, and I decided to invite her onto WhatsApp to start speaking to each other via voice. I find it a more 'personal' way of communicating rather than text, and it allows for a greater understanding of the emotions of the other person. We instantly connected. She was very interested in my music career, and even knew a relative of mine. We talked about a variety of topics, but we DID very quickly swoop over the topic of 'family.' On the first ever WhatsApp conversation we had (3 hours in length), I decided to flirt/create sexual tension. She responded in a way I couldn't have ever expected, becoming extremely sexual, receptive, so as to begin to touch herself over the phone! (She eventually orgasmed)

 

It felt like it was 'right' not just because she opened up sexually but because we had a similar humour, views, and future plans. She was genuine, caring, and had a very soft feminine voice. We continued to WhatsApp for the next 2-3 days after which I asked her out, to which she accepted. However, for one reason or another, the date was continually postponed for the next 3 weeks. She worked, minded kids, and also had a holiday with friends coming up. I begun to feel maybe it wasn’t going to work out.

 

Yet, we continued interacting right through all of this anywhere from 2-4 hours a day, even on her holidays! She WhatsApp’d to me about almost everything, a very ‘open’ girl. Again, I want to emphasise how ‘real’ this connection felt. I was even silly enough to start thinking, ''this girl might be the one I’ve been looking for.’’

 

Section 3 - Girls Holiday

 

I learned a few significant things about her during her holiday:

 

-> She had a number of conflicts with the 2 other friends. Including calling me at 4am my time to describe how her friend (one in particular) had ruined her birthday celebrations and just not been there for her and that they’d have a huge fight etc. Now, I played it off as 19 year immaturity, or just simple disagreements, but as you’ll see in the coming article, friends for her were a huge problem.

 

-> As we WhatsApp’d more, I begun to notice a real sense of insecurity she had about her body. Now this is not a crime, god knows I’ve been insecure myself at times, we all strive for better sometimes! However, in the midst of a WhatsApp conversation, I spoke about how I respected a girl who keeps fit (not intended in ANYWAY to disregard a girl who DOESN’T!) and she exploded at me, saying, ‘’well thats not the type of girl I am, and if you want a body like that go find it elsewhere.’’ It extended to, ‘’maybe we aren’t meant to date, I can’t say your making me feel great here.’’ I had ZERO intention of making her feel this way! She ignored me for the rest of that day, and after some clarification from me, we were ok the next day.

 

-> She loved to get DRUNK! Almost every single night, she'd either ring or leave a voice mail in the early hours in which she'd be very drunk. Vodka was her favourite, and it later would be a cause of conflict for me and her. My view on alcohol (every person to their own) is that it is a great tool from time to time to use as a social 'loosener' to let your hair down every now and then. However, getting absolutely wasted (not vomiting) every single time you go out is something I never understood about young girls these days, and it was something I took note of with this one. However, I also believe in respecting peoples differences, and since love is not ownership, it was her prerogative to do what she wanted for fun.

 

Section 4 - The Ex & Sex

 

When she returned from her trip, I brought back up the first date. She was much more excited to go this time, and we scheduled it for the beginning of August 2015. However, before we had even met (we know each other roughly 2 weeks at this point), she decided to reveal to me some deep facts about her past.

 

-> She had an 8 month relationship before she met me (she was only out of it 2 months) in which the guy was verbally abusive in how he'd put her down, insult her weight, tell her she should go on sun beds etc. Furthermore, she told me she was a virgin, and had never done anything sexual with this guy for 8 months! (I honestly found this difficult to believe at the time).

 

The reason I found it difficult to believe was because she was just SO sexual! A frequent watcher of porn, told me she liked the 'rough, hard' sex and had more than once had phone sex with me before we met! (Including during her holiday). She had rough sex fantasies, public fantasies, and had such a developed view of her sexuality for a virgin. She was literally brimming with ideas. At this point, I became slightly hesitant about the ex, since it would seem I was going to be Mr. Perfect Rebound! However, I liked her, and decided to trust her word.

 

The night before our first date, we had phone sex again after which she told me we would be absolutely having sex after the date as I turned her on too much and was so 'handsome.' Again, I was a little shocked, but testosterone is a funny thing! Another detail, she had told me she hated public displays of affection. It was out of the blue, but she asked would we ''be holding hands?'' I played it off. (She hated holding her ex's hand)

 

Section 5 - The First Date

 

Looking back. The only word I could use is 'wow.' When I set eyes on her for the first time, I felt instant attraction. She was truly beautiful. Long blonde hair, beautiful round cheek bone structure, sea blue eyes, and the most heavenly red lips! I wanted to kiss her straight away! I liked her dress sense, I liked her! I said hello, hugged her, and the first thing I did? Hold her hand! It fitted like a glove! She smiled, and we walked to a local 8 ball pool hall. It wasn't the run down, gang member filled place you're thinking! It had a bar inside it, and was a well run spot with good people in it.

 

Why a pool date? I saw four great opportunities:

 

- Excuse to get physical with the girl.

- Friendly competition.

- Relaxed atmosphere.

- Not a 'seated' inactive date.

 

It went down a treat! We laughed, I flirted, she reciprocated, her body language was positive. She was really into me! It was already the best date of my life half way through, just a seemingly very real connection. After the date, I suggested we walk around the city.

 

I knew in her mind, she was thinking, ''it's been like 2 hours and no kiss?'' I could sense she was doubting if I was into her. This was a purposeful tactic, I wanted to surprise her, satisfying her fetish of loving a man who 'takes control.' (Daddy issue characteristic?)

 

I asked her a question as we passed a random building, grabbed her arm firmly, pushed her against a wall, and went in to kiss her, she coming to meet me. It was passionate, intense and amazing. I withdrew to stop the kiss, and she nearly bit my face off! She was enjoying it. We kissed 6 more times around random places in the city. When we arrived at a taxi rank where the date ended, I invited her back to my place. She was so turned on by our kisses, she agreed.

 

Section 6 - First Sex

 

It had occurred to me when we arrived in my place that if we DID have sex, it would be her virginity I was taking, so instead of pushing forward to become sexual, I laid back, and just revelled in the memory of such a great date! She became comfortable, and after a short bathroom break, arrived back to tell me, ''I'm ready.'' We had sex. It didn't hurt her, she enjoyed it. To my shock, she was a multi-orgasmic girl. She orgasmed over 20 times in a 6 hour window. (We had sex 4 times that night). She was a natural, it was almost scary how easy sex came to her. We cuddled, kissed, and damn, what a night! The following day, I treated her to our local Zoo where we were both pretty tired from a night of sex.

 

Section 7 - Relationship Official?

 

After a few more dates, it became clear we both wanted to be together. She asked, I agreed, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was smooth, exciting, and heart warming. No drama. A great, loving, caring girl. The next month was amazing! We walked in the park, kissed in the rain, cuddled in the grass, and once more, I couldn't believe the connection, and speed of progress. It sounds incredibly immature to say it, but telling her I really ''liked'' her was not expressing how I felt enough. The other 'L word' was feeling more appropriate. Almost felt like soul mates. I questioned myself in terms of getting too far ahead etc, but I couldn't ignore my feelings! It was an amazing month, which ended with me going on a holiday of my own for 10 days, which we WhatsApp'd through!

 

Section 8 - I Love You & College Drop Out

 

September 2015

 

Having come back from holidays, and attended a dress up event of hers as her boyfriend (which she wanted to leave early), we were lying on my bed one night, when suddenly she rolled over, looked at me and said, ''I need to tell you something.'' - She went onto describe how she had a physically abusive father, who also abused her sisters/mother and if I ''wanted to break up'' she understood. I smiled, hugged her and said, ''don't worry, we all have difficulties in life sometimes.'' She cried, and hugged me back, at which point I said, ''do you mind if I say something?'' (Hinting that it was significant). ''I love you.'' She said it back and we cried in each other's arms, it was one of the best moments of my life. At that moment, it seemed we were set, great years ahead! My girlfriend loves me! I'm so excited! I did many nice things for her in this time, not expecting anything in return. She had been diagnosed with anaemia, so I brought her a surprise box of all her vitamins she needed to work. I bought her dinner, paid for the aforementioned hotels etc. It felt good to make a lovely girl smile.

 

About a week later, she decided to go to college to do a course. She was excited, and got off to a pretty solid start. However, this didn't last long.

 

Section 9 - The Beginning of The End

 

Break Up 1 - In the interests of length, and sanity, I'll summarise as best I can from here. Mid September, we go to a nightclub together with her friends and mine. A new experience, and it is a great night! The following day, we wake up in my mates apartment having stayed over. She rolls over, looks at me with a cold, blank stare, and says, ''we need to break up, it's only going to get worse.'' - Shock, tears, sobbing followed from me. What the hell? She panicked, to a point of resisting me even touching her. It was so out of character, and I was so upset. We didn't talk for 2 days, after which she apologised and we got back again. Me not knowing any better agreed and tried to forget it.

 

She also dropped out of college, because she hated the place and people, and didn't have a genuine interest in the topic. I encouraged her to not do something that would make her unhappy.

 

Section 10 - Her Friends

 

What do we expect from a friend? I would say I would expect, trust, the ability tell them anything/feel anyway and not be judged, and to have fun times with, and also share the bad times! My girlfriend's friends came to my attention very quickly into the relationship. The only times she really saw them was on 'girls night out,' in clubs/pubs in the city. They all insisted on drinking vodka etc and being very drunk. She'd constantly drunk text me etc. Now this all sounds like somewhat common 19 year old behaviour right? Ok, but when she arrived at a packed club and all her friends ran the SECOND they saw a hot guy? Leaving her alone for almost the entire night? Sometimes not ever returning, leaving her to find a taxi alone in a busy town, with perverts and weirdos looking for girls on the streets? Ok, it happens once, I get over it, twice I'm annoyed, this happened more than five times! When I'd suggest that they weren't treating her well, she'd reject the notion, yet continually complain about them. They constantly didn't invite her to events, and it was obvious to me they were using her at times to pour their own sad stories (mostly about boys) without offering her anything. This went on for months.

 

However, her best friend? The girl who had treated her crap on the fore-mentioned holiday, had completely blown her off, ignored her, and it got to a stage where my girlfriend wrote her a letter apologising, only to be ignored over and over. She had dreams about this friend and constantly was down over it. I tried to help and soothe but it wasn't much help. Yet again however, she would tell me that even this girl didn't exactly always treat her very well, which stunned me.

 

As time passed, it became clear she had no real/loyal friends, and it got to a point where she'd tell me that she had to drink when she went out them to 'tolerate them.' Can you believe that? I was just very upset, and wanted better for her. My peak dislike of her friends came one night (while I was out of the city), where they had left her again on her own. She went outside the club to look for them and this random stranger came up, grabbed her hips and just went to kiss her! Like that!!!! This infuriated me, for her to be put in this situation. She declined obviously but was mocked and undermined by the other guys around for saying no. This kind of event made me very emotional.

 

Section 11 - Continued Decline

 

October 2015

 

Break Up 2 - After a series of conversations with her about her friends etc, I decided to back off completely as she was growing very short and negative. I had also asked simple questions like, ''the only time you see your friends, you are all drunk? How can you get to know people truly that way?'' Maybe not my place, but she didn't like it. I apologised and encouraged her to continue having fun no matter what.

 

Then, I'm sitting in college class one day, my WhatsApp goes off, its a 5 minute voice mail of complaining that:

 

- I was controlling.

- I didn't like her friends.

- She didn't feel like HER anymore.

- She didn't want a relationship anymore.

 

And more...

 

Shock number two to the system, I was in awe. I had never once felt I was controlling, often encouraging her to do things INSTEAD of seeing me (which at times was only once per week). She was correct about her friends, I had met them a couple of times, and they were so emotionless to her, they made quickly take the outsider role in the group, and all were just immature girls (which isn't necessarily a fault but a stage in growth.) I'd never judge anyone, but since they were making the girl I loved unhappy, I wasn't mad about them.

 

We didn't talk for 2 days, after which she apologised and text me saying, ''so do you want me to be your girlfriend again? ''

 

I was hurt, and still in shock but I said yes, and we got back again. (Again, you might think I was crazy, but love is blind.)

 

Section 12 - A Bad Gesture

 

Just before Halloween, I could sense she wasn't herself. This girl wasn't the same girl I had met 2 months earlier, much less bright, the fun sparkle in her eyes was faded, and a more cold, passive girl remained. Some things became clear at this point:

 

- She constantly fought with her sisters at home.

- Her mother wasn't offering her any real help with her problems.

- She hated her friends.

- She was working in a job she hated, in a place she hated.

- She didn't know what she wanted to do in college/with her life.

 

Things were very unstable in her life, and the only thing that offered any stability was me. Honestly, I think I feared the worst because of this. I was the only thing she could control, and maybe I'd get the cut if she felt our relationship was weighing down her life. (Which she was entitled to.)

 

However, in the midst of her being so down, I decided one day after college to do something extra special for her. A few days into October she had brought me to an abandoned mill by a river that was a place that meant a lot to her as a child. It was beautiful. The sound of water flowing, birds chirping, the leaves blowing in the wind. I felt so at home, and it stuck with me in my dreams. I decided one day to do the following:

 

- Write on 13 little notes why she's so nice/and such a great girlfriend.

- The 14th note had a little poem I had written for her.

- I then went to the place (I had to walk 14 miles, and take 2 buses) and left the notes hidden around the place. I then text her the instructions on how to find them!

 

Again, I know this might have been over the top, too movie dramatic, but sometimes a princess deserves to be spoiled! I felt good, making her feel good!

 

So did she like the gesture?

 

Break Up 3 - Yet again, while sitting in class in college, I got a text to say the following:

 

- She didn't want it anymore.

- She's too young to be in a relationship.

- She's afraid of commitment.

- I'm great etc but she's not ready.

 

It hurt. ALOT. I must admit, my world seemed to collapse. It was just such a rush of emotions, thoughts and feelings that if I didn't have such a strong ground to resort to, I might have been broken. I was deeply hurt and very sad, not falling into depression but definitely lost. Somehow I didn't manage to let it ruin the most important year of my college life, but my own life suffered hugely. For me, it was over for good this time. About 5 days later, I went out with my friends, and met other girls. She was also out the same night with her friend. Girls were flirting with me, and I actually left the place to cry, because I was so messed up. She did the identical same. Guys tried to chat to her but she couldn't make herself do it.

 

Guess what? Looking back, stupidly I agreed we would get back again. Why? Well this time, she would do therapy at the same time for her issues. I loved her, and still couldn't let go.

 

So how did it go?

 

Section 13 - A Stable Month & A Half

 

November 2015

 

It was like old times! Therapy had made a difference for her, and it seemed she was much more fun, and like the girl I fell in love with. We did a lot of cool couple stuff, and I begun to think maybe I finally had her cracked. We went to a variety of fancy hotels to spend a night, and she was much kinder and more giving, writing me a love letter back! It was a great time. I felt good and finally my heart seemed at rest more than ever.

 

So what happened then?

 

Section 14 - Depression Hits & Christmas Ruined

 

December 2015

 

On the 21st of December, I had a few concerns:

 

- We hadn't seen each other in over 2 weeks (very rare for us.) (I DID have a week of exams and STILL made time to see her.)

- She cancelled 3 consecutive hang out invites and didn't attempt to offer an alternative.

- She had begun texting far less, being much shorter.

- She had a great friend coming home from USA college for a couple of weeks and wasn't interested.

- She just seemed to have checked out of the relationship.

 

Since communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, I decided to approach her gently. She played off everything, and infact became sarcastic when I said, ''it would be nice if you'd ask me to some stuff soon.'' She told me she wasn't ''that type of girl'' and to go play my violin! Sarcastic little devil!

 

Unfortunately, I got angry for the first time at her, and the argument became so heated, I said the following:

 

''Well if you don't want this, maybe I should go.'' (Bluffing, in an attempt to inspire change)

 

Break Up 4 - She called me on a bluff, and told me it was over. She was the most closed off I'd ever seen her, and even blocked me on social media. I was absolutely furious. We got to nit picking about things we didn't like about each other, and I made a personal mistake, and called her a 'cunt.'

 

This word resonated with her since her abusive father used it all the time, and she didn't speak to me for almost a week. It was the lowest I'd ever been in my life. I lost 10kgs, my music career collapsed, and my Christmas/New Year's were ruined. My family angry at me for being so isolated, and an emotionless shell. I withdrew completely from life. And STILL, I wanted to hear from her, for her to come back. I was in an awful state. I pleaded with her to forgive me for insulting her (I stupidly called her more names), and she would just ignore me.

 

Section 15 - Hotel Hook Ups

 

When the day after Christmas arrived, we had begun talking about being '**** buddies.' Being so desperate to even see her, I suggested we book one of the fancy hotels we had stayed in previously. She agreed, and would meet me after a friend's house party. At midnight, she arrived, drunk, and we had sex all night. It was amazing, until morning came. More pain ensued. She brought back up all the negatives, and the stupidity of what we had done became clear.

 

Worse again, we did the exact same thing 2 days later! My mental state just wasn't working on logic, or sense, I was blinded. This time, once sex was over, I actually left before the night was over because she told me she'd ''never trust me again so what was the point?''

 

Looking back, it was an absolutely horrible mess, of the extreme sort. She admitted that she was deep in depression and wanted to be alone. We fell out of contact again.

 

Section 16 - New Years Kiss (Well Kind of...)

 

January 2016

 

Out of the blue one night, she text me saying, ''so do you love me or hate me?'' I ignored, and another 30 texts came after in a short space. She was out, and was drunk. Begging me to ring her etc. I eventually did (thinking she could be in trouble) but I was only greeted with drunken talk. She was out with her friend who was home from the US. Things however took a turn for the worst in her next text:

 

''Would you hate me if I kissed someone else?"

 

She had kissed a guy. She was extremely drunk, and the guy (she knew) kissed her after talking. She claimed she didn't know what to do, but admitted she didn't stop the kiss. I was extremely hurt again, even though we WERE broken up! So by now, you're probably shouting at your laptop, RUN! Well, things got worse, much worse.

 

No, she didn't have sex with the other guy. However, due to a mixture of clumsiness and bad timing, she had accidentally shown me a message she had written to one of her best friends on Facebook. She had intended to show me something else, but 5 words caught my eye.

 

''Wish I met him first.''

 

My heart sank. But it gets worse. The guy she wishes she met? Turned out to be my BEST friend, the guy she'd met on our first night out back in September, and the message was from September (I made her show me it.) My best friend had also driven her home 1-2 times (just them) as a favour for me. Now, my best friend is my best friend because I trust nobody more than him, and he would have never flirted, or ever been receptive to flirting of any kind, instantly telling me. However, in her message to this friend, she had said the following:

 

- I was out with ''My Name'' and I met his friend, I find him so attractive!

- Honestly, no guy has ever made me laugh that much and already I'm like, I wish I met him first.

- I feel bad, but I can't help it, he's so lovely.

- I want you to meet him (to the best friend) and marry him because I want him to marry me.

 

This was the most twisted feeling I've ever had in my stomach. More drama, and the type of thing that could have ruined a weaker friendship. Worst part? She immediately denied it all, giving me an excuse that was pure lies about how it linked to her childhood etc. She concluded she had NO feelings for him ever, didn't find him attractive and was sorry.

 

We fell out of contact again.

 

Section 17 - Lesson Still Not Learned...

 

At the end of January, I was distraught at how much I still missed her. For all the negative things I mentioned, there were also so many positives. I missed cuddling her, laughing, play fighting, talking about things in the world, and holding her hand as we walked through the city having bought cheap cookies. I missed sitting in the park with take away coffee talking about each other's childhoods. I got back in contact and on the 28th of January we met up. However, even though we both agreed to no sex, we had sex. And by the morning, feelings were back. It was incredibly stupid, and I know you think of me as the biggest idiot in the world to keep going back, and I take that criticism totally. It showed my own shortcomings personally which I didn't think had existed before. We were back in contact, and a point arrived where we were meeting up regularly again.

 

Section 18 - One Last Chance?

 

February 2016

 

By this point, therapy was continuing to improve her little by little. We decided we were 'dating' again, but she didn't want to be 'official' for at least 6 months. She claimed that she was afraid to get back with me incase she broke up down the line and I freaked out verbally like I had done over Christmas. This irritated me, but also I felt it was a good idea. We also agreed to being exclusive still. So we were exclusive, dating, having sex constantly, only texting each other, but not together, right? Ugh... It was a bad time for me! After almost a month of stability, certain things began to creep up again. Her drinking was beginning to annoy me. She had promised to hang out with her sister for Valentines (her sister being single) which was agreed before we got back together, but it ended up being her going out, hating the night, getting drunk and being hit on. I felt a bit ticked off.

 

Worse still, she rang me in the early hours crying, that alcohol had really scared her, and she felt really low. She vowed to give up drinking for a while, and not go out for a while. I encouraged the drinking part, even to cut back a bit, but told her she should still hang out with her friends! Well, annoyingly, 2 days later, she went out and as irony would have it, she got drunk, and then got spiked. She passed out, vomited all over the toilets of the club, and was still drunk into the next day. I was extremely angry at the friends again since they'd left her in the place where the guy had spiked her. We had a fight, in which she wasn't in the mood to get told to start having more sense, and told me to 'shut the **** up.' I hung up, and smashed my mobile phone off the ground. Again, unlike me to get angry. Yet again, she then had more doubts, texting me one night to say: ''Should I be in a relationship at 19? Is this it for life? What if I regret it when I'm 30, no sex with other people or experimenting etc.'' I honestly didn't care anymore. We didn't break up at this point but I knew it was coming, and this time I was ready.

 

Section 19 - Trainwreck Comes to A Halt!

 

The irony of the whole thing is that at the end of February I behaved in a way which broke her trust. I didn't cheat, or anything 'typical' but it reminded her of something her father had done, and she broke up with me. She blocked me on absolutely everything, and offered me the final line - ''If your the best guy for me, then I want to be single.''

 

Stupidly, and very immaturely, I insulted her. I called her spineless, and emotionless for what she had done. I admitted my first mistake in the relationship in breaking her trust, but I hadn't done it purposely, or intended it from a bad place. In a final emotional phone call, she admitted she had lied about 2 things:

 

- She DID have feelings for my best friend.

- She had shared a secret I had asked her to keep between us (I also withhold a very deep one from her childhood that I still will never share) with her closest friend.

 

The train wreck came to a halt, and here I am on the 5th of March beginning true recovery.

 

From this experience I can only conclude the following about a girl with 'daddy issues' (NOT EVERY SINGLE ONE):

 

- They are extremely open, and sexually very 'eager.'

- They seek male validation constantly.

- They like sex to be rough, they like to be dominated, and are extremely experimental.

- You cannot get too close, or go too far. (Abandonment v Engulfment)

- Yet, no middle line exists, except for false comfort which eventually collapses.

- They can be dishonest.

- They hold insecurities/jealousy.

- They find it difficult to get on with other females.

- Like 'older' men. (She stated this numerous times)

- Serious trust issues. (Constantly felt like she was waiting for me to mess up.)

- Can truly cause you extremely mental/emotional damage.

 

Thankfully I'm on the road to recovery, but this experience has taught me ALOT. I don't intend to get into a relationship for a while, while I rediscover myself, but as my father once said:

 

''A good woman can make you, but a bad one can break you.''

 

*I apologise in advance if anyone is offended by this article, that is not my intention.

[Jay745]

Sounds a lot like the girl I dated. They can be a real piece of work. Check out my threads and you will see the similarities.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, to be fair, she isn't the only one with issues if you kept going back for more.

 

Just something to chew on.

[elaine567]

She's only 19, her brain isn't developed properly yet.

 

in teens, the parts of the brain involved in emotional responses are fully online, or even more active than in adults, while the parts of the brain involved in keeping emotional, impulsive responses in check are still reaching maturity. Such a changing balance might provide clues to a youthful appetite for novelty, and a tendency to act on impulse—without regard for risk.

NIMH » The Teen Brain: Still Under Construction

[Revenant22]

OP, to be fair, she isn't the only one with issues if you kept going back for more.

 

Just something to chew on.

 

Great point! Believe me, I'm working on this.

 

Thanks for the reply.