JMS Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I'm 21 years old and I recently broke up with my g/f of 2.5 years. For the past 8 or 9 months, I've thought about breaking up on several occasions, but I could never bring myself to do it. These thoughts came as a result of the fact that our relationship was very similar to a marrage. If I wasn't at school or work, I was with her. We spent every night together. I pretty much spent all weekend with her, unless I had planned to do something with my friends (e.g. play soccer) like a week in advance. If I accepted a last minute invitation to do anything, She would get upset because I was breaking the "plans" we would have otherwise. (I say "plans" because they weren't really plans, it was just like since I didn't say i had something else to do, she would assume we would go shopping saturday afternoon, etc.) During the relationship, she didn't spend much time with her friends. If she wanted to go to the mall, I had to want to go too or she wouldn't go at all. If i suggested the idea of her hanging out with her girl friends some, she would accuse me of not wanting to be around her. In any event, recently she has gone to california to intern over the summer. During the first couple of weeks I found myself really enjoying the feeling of independence associated with not having "default" plans with her all the time. I told her that we needed to break up. Its been 2 more weeks and now I find myself thinking about her a lot. I miss her. I feel like I want her to be part of my life. On the otherhand, I'm not so sure that getting back together is the right thing to do (or even possible at this point.) I have a ticket to go visit her on her b-day in a few days. I bought the ticket before we broke up. We planned on going out for her 21st. I really want to see her, but when I ask her if she wants to see me she just says "do whatever you want." I'm not sure if that is her throwing up a wall, or if she is truly indifferent towards me now. I'm also not sure if going out there is going to do more harm than good for her emmotionally. For the most part I've been kind of self-centered and thinking about what will make me feel better (which is seeing her). I have the option of taking a $50.00 hit on the ticket, and getting the rest as a voucher for future travel from Delta. I don't know what to do. I'm also confused about the feelings I'm having in regards to her. Do I miss her just because I can't have her now? I know I love her, but I just can't go back to being tied down in the manner I previously described. Its so frustrating.
westernxer Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Then don't tie yourself down. She sounds possessive... not something you need at 21, 31, 41... you get the message. Take the $50 hit and employ the rest of the dough toward having a good time. Trust me, you need it.
BLF04 Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 did we date the same girl? this sounds just like my ex. i too wanted to hang out more with my friends. wanted her to hang more with her friends, etc... eventually she got the message and broke up with me. after a month of breaking up i still love her and i know she still loves me. but we need to take some time to our own thing, we haven't spoke to each other in 2 weeks. this is what i recommend. shes probably bitter you broke up with her, and she should be. give it time. im going into my last year of college, hell if im going to regret anything. if you want to keep her on board w/ you give her some excuse that you couldn't go. keep in touch with limited contact. thats my advice.
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