Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 Mind you, I'm a little different. But if I was going to meet him, I'd have some bath salts in my purse, and say 'let's blow this joint and go out to my car'. Maybe a baggie full of sage as well. And some pepper spray. Be careful, OP. Haha! This made me laugh. Thank you. 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 Gym rat as in a big body builder? If he looks like he might take steroids or has taken steroids in the past then I wouldn't doubt other drug use. Nah, not at all. He's pretty muscular, but very lean. He's not big like the bodybuilder types.
katiegrl Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Nah, not at all. He's pretty muscular, but very lean. He's not big like the bodybuilder types. Did you meet up with him? 6-7 hours ago you posted you were meeting him in a few hours. What happened?
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 6, 2016 Author Posted March 6, 2016 Did you meet up with him? 6-7 hours ago you posted you were meeting him in a few hours. What happened? He's 20 minutes late. :/ Welp! Good thing I made other plans tonight!
mortensorchid Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I'm not sure why you'd bother with any of this if, in your own words, "he has way too much going on in his life for me to put any real hope into developing a relationship with him"? This statement gives me pause to begin with. Did he say this to you or have you determined that about him based on your encounters / conversations? As for the second of the online research ... Well, it could be another person with the same name, but ... It could also not be. Based on his behaviors on your actually get togethers with him, it doesn't sound like it. But remember, you barely know this person at all, right? And it's not stalkerish, it's called being safe. It's a crazy world out there. I hope for your sake that this is just a coincidence that the person you found in the article is not the same person you are talking about. I guess time will tell. But the first statement is what bothers me, in that he's not that interested or he doesn't have time for you, or you for him. Sounds kind of like you're both wasting your time.
joseb Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I guess, if I were to be completely raw and honest, the only thing more to it is that he's also EXTREMELY attractive. Haha I wouldn't mind spending some time with him. Heck, he's fun to look at. ... but not if he's high on cocaine and bath salts. Well if this thread isn't an eye opener. The guys on here who are constantly going on about how OLD is so crap because women just go for attractive guys and don't care about anything else would have an absolute field day. 3
preraph Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I think women especially should do a paid online background check, not just a google, before they meet a guy from online. Save yourself a lot of heartache and it only costs, what, $25? It's worth it. That way you should be able to see a photo and make sure it's the right address. I once did one on a guy I was meeting for a concert in UK (we're both from US) and in his own state, there was a serial killer by that name!! I was very leery and had to let him know what I found and prove it wasn't him by giving me more info. I once had a car wreck and googled and found out the idiot who wrecked me was a female convicted pedophile. So do one where you can see his photo and address or phone number at least. It might be a different guy.
bathtub-row Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I think you're nuts to even talk to him about this. This relationship has nowhere to go, and talking to him may actually enrage him. You would've been better off cancelling the date and then just disappearing. Even if he doesn't know where you live, he could follow you, or dona number of other things. Whenever you see red flags of this magnitude, your best policy would be to exit stage left. 2
bathtub-row Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 (edited) I once dated a guy who lied about his age. It bothered me a lot but I thought I'd give him a shot. He turned out to be a major psycho -- stalked me, I had to get the cops involved, the works. This is why I don't excuse any type of red flag behavior at all. Edited March 6, 2016 by bathtub-row 1
joseb Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I once dated a guy who lied about his age. It bothered me a lot but I thought I'd give him a shot. He turned out to be a major psycho -- stalked me, I had to get the cops involved, the works. This is why I don't excuse any type of red flag behavior at all. I don't think you can assume too much about the age thing. From what I see, I'd say half of people on tinder over 30 lie about their age. I was very honest until recentlly, but I was getting pissed off at not getting matches while guys 5 years older were no problem (because their profile had them younger than me and therefore appearing in search results) I'm not actually looking for a ltr, but if I was I'd probably come clean before meeting. The thing is, in real life you don't walk around with a big sign on your head with your age on it. You get a chance to meet people and talk. If after that the age is an issue, then fair enough. I've found it almost never is. Online, it almost always is. 1
bathtub-row Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I don't think you can assume too much about the age thing. From what I see, I'd say half of people on tinder over 30 lie about their age. I was very honest until recentlly, but I was getting pissed off at not getting matches while guys 5 years older were no problem (because their profile had them younger than me and therefore appearing in search results) I'm not actually looking for a ltr, but if I was I'd probably come clean before meeting. The thing is, in real life you don't walk around with a big sign on your head with your age on it. You get a chance to meet people and talk. If after that the age is an issue, then fair enough. I've found it almost never is. Online, it almost always is. I understand what you're saying but I'll just say that this isn't a great way to handle things.
joseb Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 (edited) I understand what you're saying but I'll just say that this isn't a great way to handle things. Maybe not, I resisted for ages. I only changed a week ago! But as jabron says, if Rome is falling then do as the barbarians do. Or, if you can't beat them, join them. Edited March 6, 2016 by joseb
bathtub-row Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Being attractive doesn't excuse bad behavior. In fact, it makes even an attractive guy ugly (to me) when they aren't a decent person. Looks go out the window when a guy leaves me worrying. I hope you don't have sex with him. If you eventually do - use protection. Amen. There's nothing uglier than lousy character.
whichwayisup Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 A friend of mine actually said the same thing about the jails being overcrowded. But the thing is, I don't see where he was ever convicted, so it's likely the case is still pending. The age thing isn't a deal-breaker for me, only because it's super common. I know an older couple who've been together for eons. When they first met, the guy lied about his age by 10 years. Haha A lot of folks lie about their age out of insecurity, especially when dating someone younger. Being charged is one thing, convicted is another. Could very well be he was charged and waiting for a court date since you say (i think?) it was 4 months ago or so? Just be honest, say you googled him and found an article online. Let him fill in the blanks, if he doesn't and pretends to not know wtf you're talking about, you fill him in. If he seems like a good guy, give him the benefit of doubt...But if your gut is saying something feels off, then don't go out with him. Ignore the fact you think he's sexy. Lust and not thinking could land you in trouble! Do update so we all know you got home okay! 1
scorpiogirl Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Well if this thread isn't an eye opener. The guys on here who are constantly going on about how OLD is so crap because women just go for attractive guys and don't care about anything else would have an absolute field day. Shhhhhhh. Don't say it out loud. They'll hear you. Then we'll never hear the end of it. I did a double take on that too. The truth is though, a lot of women will overlook certain things for a pretty face. Remember the guy in the U.S. A few years ago called Jeremy Meek? This guy had women offering to post his bail They really set women back a lot with that kind of attitude. "He can climb in my window anytime." 1
mrs rubble Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 (edited) LL are you ok??? I've read the whole thread, and am worried you've met him and confronted him with your info and he's freaked. Please let us know that you're safe!! I once dated an online guy, first lie I caught him out in was his age. He was charming, smooth talking and knew all the things to say.... When I mentioned my family connections with police and a judge in his area... He disappeared. Several months later I got a call from the police, they'd found my phone number in his phone and asked about my acquaintance with him as they'd arrested him for theft, fraud and being an OLD predator. Another lie I caught him in was the vehicle he was driving- I ran a registration check on it (cost me $2.50) the address and owners name didn't match where and who he told me it belonged to. Trust your gut and protect yourself and PLEASE let us know that you're safe! Edited March 6, 2016 by mrs rubble
bathtub-row Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 Being charged is one thing, convicted is another. Could very well be he was charged and waiting for a court date since you say (i think?) it was 4 months ago or so? Just be honest, say you googled him and found an article online. Let him fill in the blanks, if he doesn't and pretends to not know wtf you're talking about, you fill him in. If he seems like a good guy, give him the benefit of doubt...But if your gut is saying something feels off, then don't go out with him. Ignore the fact you think he's sexy. Lust and not thinking could land you in trouble! Do update so we all know you got home okay! I think this would be the thing to do if this were a relationship that had somewhere to go. Since she said that he's always busy and has too much going on, there's no reason to risk talking to him about this. Walking away is the best option, all things considered.
elaine567 Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I think this would be the thing to do if this were a relationship that had somewhere to go. Since she said that he's always busy and has too much going on, there's no reason to risk talking to him about this. Walking away is the best option, all things considered. Agreed this isn't merely a "weed" offence or even a DUI, it sounds a lot more serious and potentially dangerous as has already been pointed out. He is not even pursuing the OP, he seems pretty nonchalant, so even more reason to just leave him be. Getting mixed up with people who are potential loose cannons, is madness, no matter how "hot" they are. He has a family who have also been in trouble with the law... I would run a mile.
whichwayisup Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 Please update this thread. You went out with him last night? Just concerned here. 1
katiegrl Posted March 7, 2016 Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) Please update this thread. You went out with him last night? Just concerned here. I wouldn't worry, I am sure she is fine. She's been out with him before, and obviously felt safe enough with him then to invite him to her home. He is not gonna suddenly go psycho on her ...just cuz she asked for some clarification ...assuming she even DID ask. Or even went at all... her last post said he was 20 minutes late... and she didn't seem concerned about that at all...in fact she said she had made other plans (just in case?) Frankly, I think this thread is one big over-reaction to an article that may not even be about him anyway. And even if it was, that was last year, being that he is such a health nut now, I highly doubt he is doing hard drugs like that NOW. LL, is a big girl, knows how to take care of herself....I am sure she is just fine. Edited March 7, 2016 by katiegrl
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Posted March 10, 2016 Yes, I'm okay. Apologies to those who were concerned for my lack of an update. I sincerely appreciate your concern, I really do. I'm just too embarrassed to talk about what happened, that's all. I'm okay, though. 1
Author Lovelorn00 Posted March 10, 2016 Author Posted March 10, 2016 Well if this thread isn't an eye opener. The guys on here who are constantly going on about how OLD is so crap because women just go for attractive guys and don't care about anything else would have an absolute field day. In my defense (not that it's worth anything at this point), I've dated a ton of guys who would be considered unattractive as well. I've dated them all. Pretty ones, ugly ones, fat ones, skinny ones, bald ones, hairy ones. Handsomeness isn't the only quality I look for. I dated a guy for nearly a year last year, and some of my girlfriends raised an eyebrow, because he wasn't attractive. My statement merely meant, "I'm not going to turn this attractive guy away (with whom I enjoy spending time with) based on an assumption."
whichwayisup Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 Yes, I'm okay. Apologies to those who were concerned for my lack of an update. I sincerely appreciate your concern, I really do. I'm just too embarrassed to talk about what happened, that's all. I'm okay, though. Don't be embarrassed, this is why LS exists! Nobody knows you and it's a safe place to vent and deal with the crappy stuff in life. Glad you're okay though!
katiegrl Posted March 10, 2016 Posted March 10, 2016 So I take it the date didn't go well? Did the date even happen? Last you posted you said he was 20 minutes late....which is rather rude, but whatevs. If that's the case, nothing to be embarrassed about.
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