Starting to Feel the Clock is Ticking

March 8, 2016

TS .. there is another thread running called "Always Liking Unavailable People".

Read post no. 5 posted by losangelina.

Replace *emotionally unavailable* with any of the adjectives you have used to describe the women you are usually, if not always, attracted to.

Me thinks it's time to look within.

March 8, 2016

TS .. there is another thread running called "Always Liking Unavailable People".

Read post no. 5 posted by losangelina.

Replace *emotionally unavailable* with any of the adjectives you have used to describe the women you are usually, if not always, attracted to.

Me thinks it's time to look within.

Just read her post. I am not like that at all. I'm attracted to beautiful women or women I find attractive. If they're pigs, drug addicts, thieves, con artists, I drop them and move on. If anything I walk away disappointed a beautiful face has gone to waste.

My issue has been women coming to me, me getting excited about the prospect of meeting a great girl or the "one" and realizing they were nothing more than a tease or a tramp looking to upgrade over their current guy.

March 8, 2016

Just read her post. I am not like that at all. I'm attracted to beautiful women or women I find attractive. If they're pigs, drug addicts, thieves, con artists, I drop them and move on. If anything I walk away disappointed a beautiful face has gone to waste.

My issue has been women coming to me, me getting excited about the prospect of meeting a great girl or the "one" and realizing they were nothing more than a tease or a tramp looking to upgrade over their current guy.

You come across as very negative and cynical in some of your posts.

You say people in your small town love to spread lies and rumors. Then you say the crazy hot girl at the gym quit because she felt uncomfortable about something that happened related to you or something like that.

Then you call women 'teases and tramps, cheats, thieves, etc'. You went on a Tinder date with someone who wasn't interested in hooking up, then she asked you to meet again (hey, that girl sounds like me when I was on friggin Tinder!) then I am gathering that you ignored her because you don't want to admit to her that you just wanted to get laid?! Did I read that correctly?! I spent a lot of time hurting because of men who did that. That's why I ended up deleting it, because it happened too often. I was correct in that there may be just as many jerks that I meet in real life, but far fewer than the aggregate of jerks you find on Tinder and other online dating sites. A nice guy (aka gentleman) would say, "I had a great time meeting you, but I don't think it's a good fit." You don't want to be a player jerk, say that instead of ignoring. That's a coward move.

Also- I believe your negativity has to be coming across to women, because it sure is to me. I would reevaluate what it is that's bothering you. You don't attract 'crazies'. I think that's a crock of ****. You get what you put out there. If you won't tolerate 'crazies', they won't even come near you. They might, but it should roll off your shoulder as though you can't even be bothered by it. Maybe I'm better at that than most people, I don't know..

You say your clock is ticking and you wonder why your superficial efforts aren't working out. Yet it's becoming very clear to me that you put your effort and your investment into superficial things. I think your attitude needs a big adjustment.

With all due respect, I think it's something to consider.

Edited March 8, 2016 by venusishername

March 8, 2016

Just read her post. I am not like that at all. I'm attracted to beautiful women or women I find attractive. If they're pigs, drug addicts, thieves, con artists, I drop them and move on. If anything I walk away disappointed a beautiful face has gone to waste.

My issue has been women coming to me, me getting excited about the prospect of meeting a great girl or the "one" and realizing they were nothing more than a tease or a tramp looking to upgrade over their current guy.

What do you mean "You are not like that"?

Did you understand her post? What she was saying?

Apparently not.

I don't care if all these crazy, drama-filled women (I refuse to describe women in the terms you used above) approach you, the fact is these are the type of women you are attracted to! You get involved with these women because you *are* attracted to them, and you get screwed over, you admitted that yourself....you can't back-track now.

Good for you for eventually walking away (heart broken)...., but that doesn't negate the fact you are are attracted to them, and continue to be attracted to them... and not attracted to the *nice* ones.

You *are* who you *attract*. Like attracts like. That was the point of losangelina's post, regardless of who does the approaching.

You will be 40 this year, this crap has been happening in your life for years!

It's a pattern...and there is a reason it's a pattern ...it's not just coincidence that you initially fall for (and get involved with) all these nutcases (who approach you)...and again it doesn't matter if they approach or you approach (which you are too afraid to do anyway so it's a moot point)....

The point is... you are attracted to them...and if you were smart, instead of becoming defensive and screaming "I am not like that," you would take the time to introspect and look within to determine (1) why all these crazies are approaching you (i.e. what kind of signals are you giving off) ..... and (2) why it is you are attracted to these crazies...and feel *nothing* for the nice ones.

Young, hot women and crazies are not mutually exclusive.

There are many many beautiful young women who are also nice, and stable and want a LTR....other men manage to meet them and date them, and even marry them ...but yet at 40 years of age, you claim you either don't meet such women .... or if you do, for one reason or another you are not attracted to them!

Something's not jiving and if you don't look within yourself for the reason, you are gonna leave this world a very lonely old man.

Edited March 8, 2016 by katiegrl

March 8, 2016

You will be 40 this year, this crap has been happening in your life for years!

What are you talking about? I'm not going to be 40 this year. I still got a couple of years before I hit that mark. Stop writing posts making up facts about me.

Thanks.

March 8, 2016

What are you talking about? I'm not going to be 40 this year. I still got a couple of years before I hit that mark. Stop writing posts making up facts about me.

Thanks.

You are right, misread your post, my apologies.

The rest of my post still applies IMO.

Wish you the best.!

ETA: And don't just assume people "make up facts about you." Which sound malicious.

People misread sometimes, or misinterpret, that's all.

Edited March 8, 2016 by katiegrl

March 8, 2016

You come across as very negative and cynical in some of your posts.

Yes. It's called venting and being honest.

You say people in your small town love to spread lies and rumors. Then you say the crazy hot girl at the gym quit because she felt uncomfortable about something that happened related to you or something like that.

Yes, there are a boatload of people here who are townies and that's all they got left to do in their lives - stir sh-t up and start trouble. I don't associate with these people. Unfortunately, it's hard to escape them when you live in the same town as them.

The gym girl you're way off base.

Then you call women 'teases and tramps, cheats, thieves, etc'. You went on a Tinder date with someone who wasn't interested in hooking up, then she asked you to meet again (hey, that girl sounds like me when I was on friggin Tinder!) then I am gathering that you ignored her because you don't want to admit to her that you just wanted to get laid?! Did I read that correctly?! I spent a lot of time hurting because of men who did that. That's why I ended up deleting it, because it happened too often. I was correct in that there may be just as many jerks that I meet in real life, but far fewer than the aggregate of jerks you find on Tinder and other online dating sites. A nice guy (aka gentleman) would say, "I had a great time meeting you, but I don't think it's a good fit." You don't want to be a player jerk, say that instead of ignoring. That's a coward move.

Now you're off the handle. The Tinder story you just mentioned is absolutely, completely false. I met a woman, we had a great conversation, no sparks, didn't see her again. That was it. I just didn't find her attractive. Please don't paint me as some player out for himself. I'm not like that at all.

I don't believe that was a coward move -- A LOT of people on this forum have stated ghosting after an initial meeting is fine. Technically, I don't believe I ghosted her. She texted me, I texted back. That was it. I don't think she cared too much that there wasn't a second date.

Also- I believe your negativity has to be coming across to women, because it sure is to me. I would reevaluate what it is that's bothering you. You don't attract 'crazies'. I think that's a crock of ****. You get what you put out there. If you won't tolerate 'crazies', they won't even come near you. They might, but it should roll off your shoulder as though you can't even be bothered by it. Maybe I'm better at that than most people, I don't know..

You say your clock is ticking and you wonder why your superficial efforts aren't working out. Yet it's becoming very clear to me that you put your effort and your investment into superficial things. I think your attitude needs a big adjustment.
With all due respect, I think it's something to consider.

Possibly. I'm relatively a quiet person. I go about my business. I very rarely ever approach a woman. They approach me. If I find out they have a sordid past, I ignore them. It's just too bad the ones approaching are liars, cheaters and not the greatest quality of people. Hopefully, this will change soon.

March 8, 2016

ETA: And don't just assume people "make up facts about you." Which sound malicious.

People misread sometimes, or misinterpret, that's all.

The post did come across as malicious. Just being honest.

Apology accepted regardless.

March 8, 2016

I spent a lot of time hurting because of men who did that. That's why I ended up deleting it, because it happened too often. I was correct in that there may be just as many jerks that I meet in real life, but far fewer than the aggregate of jerks you find on Tinder and other online dating sites. A nice guy (aka gentleman) would say, "I had a great time meeting you, but I don't think it's a good fit." You don't want to be a player jerk, say that instead of ignoring. That's a coward move.

I'm sorry you got burned, but for the record: I'm not the guy who did this to you.

Yea, and I met some real jerks on Tinder, too. One woman I chatted with for 2 weeks. One night I'm in the city and she asks me to meet her and her girlfriends at a bar. I decided to met her and when I get there, she's there with her boyfriend!!! The guy was ready to rumble with me in the bar. She set the whole thing up to mess with me and him. I had no idea she had a boyfriend. The boyfriend thought I was some a-hole hitting on her. She was loving all the attention.

March 8, 2016

That's a coward move.

A coward move is a woman sending me multiple messages, blocking me so I can't respond, unblocking me, and blocking me again. Some people need to get a grip.

March 8, 2016

Possibly. I'm relatively a quiet person. I go about my business. I very rarely ever approach a woman. They approach me. .

Hey TS. I just wanted to add another 2 cents...another thing to change would be this.

The majority of women want men to make the first move.

March 8, 2016

The majority of women want men to make the first move.

Very true. I'll work on this.

March 8, 2016

Right on. Thanks for the laugh.

OP you need to get out of Tinder, its a hook up site 99.9% of the time (my own statistic here). If you want a relationship maybe you should try other serious sites like eharmony or match

I don't understand your logic.

You are wanting to move on in life to something more stable and meaningful but you keep on choosing Tinder to meet women. It's like looking for blueberries in a field of potatoes.

You need a better plan.

March 9, 2016

OP you need to get out of Tinder, its a hook up site 99.9% of the time (my own statistic here). If you want a relationship maybe you should try other serious sites like eharmony or match

No way on match and eHarmony. I think they're just as a bad only difference is, Tinder has stigma for hook ups and those other sites for gold diggers and clingers.

March 9, 2016

eHarmony is a bust, but match is still solid! Yes it costs money but it's honestly not that expensive...considered how valuable your time is, and the likelihood of getting more quality people to talk to. Also try Bumble! I'm a fan of Bumble. And it's free. I know it's big on the East Coast, so probably is in Chicago too.

March 9, 2016

No wonder that the women that approach you turn out bad. These women are probably charming, extroverted, big flirts and have plenty of options. If they are attractive, men line up. Who doesn't like an attractive girl doing all the work and initiating?

Nice women generally don't approach. Nice women would probably bore you. They are more low key and you actually have to make an effort in approaching, the conversation and having fun dates. You say you are quiet and passive. If quiet, passive men were cats, "manic pixie dream girl" types would be their catnip (look it up).

Few other things I get from your posts is high focus on looks and age and low focus on personality traits that would make someone a good LTR partner. You also like to mention "the one". I cringe at the amount of time never married guys close to 40 use this term. More relationship experienced guys would never talk about "the one". Seems like you have wildly unrealistic expectations of women and relationships.

March 9, 2016

eHarmony is a bust, but match is still solid! Yes it costs money but it's honestly not that expensive...considered how valuable your time is, and the likelihood of getting more quality people to talk to. Also try Bumble! I'm a fan of Bumble. And it's free. I know it's big on the East Coast, so probably is in Chicago too.

I'll look into Bumble.

I'm staying away from match. I tried it before and didn't really care for it.

March 9, 2016

No wonder that the women that approach you turn out bad. These women are probably charming, extroverted, big flirts and have plenty of options. If they are attractive, men line up. Who doesn't like an attractive girl doing all the work and initiating?

Nice women generally don't approach. Nice women would probably bore you. They are more low key and you actually have to make an effort in approaching, the conversation and having fun dates. You say you are quiet and passive. If quiet, passive men were cats, "manic pixie dream girl" types would be their catnip (look it up).

Few other things I get from your posts is high focus on looks and age and low focus on personality traits that would make someone a good LTR partner. You also like to mention "the one". I cringe at the amount of time never married guys close to 40 use this term. More relationship experienced guys would never talk about "the one". Seems like you have wildly unrealistic expectations of women and relationships.

The problem is these women who are hot and approaching me are not SINGLE. It's like on hand, I'm super excited that a babe has interest in me but on the other hand, it's frustrating because it will only lead to trouble and disappointment because another guy is involved and it tells me a lot about their character. It's really twisted when you think about it.

As for your thoughts on my wildly unrealistic expectations... maybe you're right, but look at you. Aren't you in your 40s and bouncing from guy-to-guy?

Relationship experienced guys = date lots of women and never commit to "one"

Sorry, I'm not settling for a hot bimbo, desperate housewife or a black widow...

March 9, 2016

Count your blessings. You are single, successful, and still in your thirties. You are the envy of most men. You are free to take your life in any direction that you choose. You are free from the responsibilities that tie most guys down daily.

.... but, some single folks would like to take their life in the direction of marriage and kids. We can't, so that really should show we DON'T have the power to take life where we want

March 9, 2016

.... but, some single folks would like to take their life in the direction of marriage and kids. We can't, so that really should show we DON'T have the power to take life where we want

No, I'm not having that. You are in full control of your own life - no excuses.

Look, It's all about Bateman's principle. Eggs are expensive, and sperm is cheap. As a man, no one will be looking out for you - especially in this century. You have to take what you want. You have to have some fight and hustle about you.

There's nothing stopping you from going out and making things happen. I've said this before, but there are three key things a man needs in this dating game.

1. Looks

2. Game

3. Money

A man needs two of those three to be successful in this dating game. I have the first two, and I do very well for myself. I'll address each one:

#1 is something of a DNA lottery - I'll grant you that. But you don't need to be a male model. You just have to have a good look. Be fashion savvy. Looks are simple for a man to achieve, because what you lack in facial features, you can make up for in muscles. Every man should work out. You don't need to be Arnold, but you need to be athletic. One of my cousins is ugly as sin, and he has no game, but he's a gym junkie. I see girls melt around him. He still manages to mess it up because he lacks number 2...

#2 is tricky and takes time. It's basically trial and error. You have to take risks - so experiment. Keep what works, and bin what doesn't. There is tonnes of game literature out there. You have to experiment with it. You have to create your personal game that works for you. The most famous pick up artist was a guy called Mystery. His game would never work for me, and I wouldn't attempt it. However, I have stolen ideas from him. You are running game right now, it's just probably very bad game. Don't expect to do the same thing and get different results.

#3 is obvious. Women want a guy that could take care of them. However, to tick this box, you need to be making more money than she is - perhaps considerably more. It doesn't make her a 'gold digger' either. Women want a guy that makes her feel safe and looked after. It's a kind of dominance. It's the same feeling a woman gets when a 6 foot + guy is towering over her.

My grandfather had all three of these things in his old age. And he was still seeing multiple younger women well into his eighties. We often joke that it was the Viagra that killed him - and it probably was, because it stopped him taking other medication that he needed.

You need to do some self reflection and figure out what is holding you back, and address it.

Check out this short clip from one of my favorite films.

Which is the most universal human characteristic, fear or laziness?

Edited March 9, 2016 by Jabron1

March 9, 2016

I'll marry you.

March 10, 2016

I'll marry you.

If this for me, I am interested.

March 10, 2016

There's nothing stopping you from going out and making things happen. I've said this before, but there are three key things a man needs in this dating game.

1. Looks
2. Game
3. Money

I have to agree. When I was chubby in my younger years, yea I got some girls because they thought I was cute... but when I lost the baby fat, got in shape, I got A LOT more attention. More women were after me.

I think it goes like this: MONEY > LOOKS > GAME

If you got money, all bets are off... you can get just about any woman. If you have looks to go with the money, you're pretty much unstoppable. Game is only needed for those with average looks and not much money.

March 10, 2016

I think it goes like this: MONEY > LOOKS > GAME

I think that resembles you though right?

The reason I say this is because I think it goes GAME > LOOKS > MONEY. Then I realised that just reflected me

I think game is paramount. I used to be very good looking as a kid (probably an 8). But my game sucked, and I made a lot of stupid mistakes. I used to rely on my looks too much. Now I'm still good looking (probably a 7), but my game is good, and I have the ability to attract more women than any other time in my life.

Money is secondary to game because real desire can't be bought. A guy with money and no game will get played by women.

Looks are secondary to game, because, even if a guy is great looking, a women won't stay long if a guy isn't rocking her emotions, or is a crap lay.

I think have either looks, or money. But game is the indispensable one of the three.

That's just my perception though.

Edited March 10, 2016 by Jabron1

March 10, 2016

Looks are secondary to game, because, even if a guy is great looking, a women won't stay long if a guy isn't rocking her emotions, or is a crap lay.

You got it Jabron.... smart man!

For other reasons too....but yeah if a man can rock our world.......emotionally, physically and everything in between...she ain't going nowhere!

Looks are definitely secondary to that.

Edited March 10, 2016 by katiegrl

Sign In

Starting to Feel the Clock is Ticking

Recommended Posts

katiegrl

truth_seeker

venusishername

katiegrl

truth_seeker

katiegrl

truth_seeker

truth_seeker

truth_seeker

truth_seeker

AMJ

truth_seeker

Thonethatgotaway

truth_seeker

AMJ

Eternal Sunshine

truth_seeker

truth_seeker

risjurad

Jabron1

abby_tx

truth_seeker

truth_seeker

Jabron1

katiegrl

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...