Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 I probably wouldn't even have acknowledged his existence. Why do women who chase you, nothing happens, start bringing a guy around? What's the play? To make you jealous? Scared?
Jabron1 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) Why do women who chase you, nothing happens, start bringing a guy around? What's the play? To make you jealous? Scared? In my experience, it's to make you jealous. I once had a woman get pissed off because I wouldn't ask her out (I wasn't playing games, or anything; I just wasn't into her). So, she went after one of my friends, and started going out with him to try and make me jealous. When it didn't work, she dumped him, after just two weeks. Women can be ruthless. Edited March 13, 2016 by Jabron1 1
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Why do women who chase you, nothing happens, start bringing a guy around? What's the play? To make you jealous? Scared? Well, since she is chasing, but the man is doing nothing about it, perhaps she brings another guy around hoping to motivate said guy to make a move! Yeah, a version of the *jealousy* game. But the bigger question is, if a girl is chasing, and the guy really likes her ....why isn't he making a move and asking her out? Not getting that part... Was the guy waiting for *her* to ask *him* out? If so, why? Hell she's chasing, which I presume to mean she's sending the guy tons of signals letting him know she is interested. So again, why isn't the guy jumping on that opportunity and asking her out? In that case, don't blame the girl for moving on ...blame the guy for not striking while the iron was hot, and making a move (asking her out).
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 But the bigger question is, if a girl is chasing, and the guy really likes her ....why isn't he making a move and asking her out? Not getting that part... Was the guy waiting for *her* to ask *him* out? If so, why? Hell she's chasing, which I presume to mean she's sending the guy tons of signals letting him know she is interested. So again, why isn't the guy jumping on that opportunity and asking her out? In that case, don't blame the girl for moving on ...blame the guy for not striking while the iron was hot, and making a move (asking her out). Found out there was a guy and I was a potential upgrade. I don't make moves on girls who are already with guys, whether it's serious or not serious. Why? If she's willing to go after a guy while seeing another guy, who's to say she won't do that to me down the road?
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 In my experience, it's to make you jealous. I once had a woman get pissed off because I wouldn't ask her out (I wasn't playing games, or anything; I just wasn't into her). So, she went after one of my friends, and started going out with him to try and make me jealous. When it didn't work, she dumped him, after just two weeks. Women can be ruthless. What's happened to me in the past if a girl liked me and I didn't like her, she would bad mouth me and delete me from social media if we were connected. Some of the lies and rumors put out there just because I didn't want to date them were really nasty and vindictive. One girl wanted blood. All because I turned her down.
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) Found out there was a guy and I was a potential upgrade. I don't make moves on girls who are already with guys, whether it's serious or not serious. Why? If she's willing to go after a guy while seeing another guy, who's to say she won't do that to me down the road? I understand that, and that's fair, but what about all those months prior, *before* the new guy entered the picture? You know, when she was *chasing* you? And if what you said above is true, why then did you give her friend the note indicating your interest? I mean by then, she was with the new guy, right? But despite that, you chose to go after her anyway by giving her friend the note. Which is great, albeit a little too late, since by then, she had moved on to new guy. TS, I am not trying to be adversarial here, or give you a hard time, I just think you should acknowledge your mistake here. That when a woman is chasing you, expressing interest, and you really like her too....don't putter around hoping she will ask you out or up the ante .... gather up your courage and ask her out! Otherwise, she will lose interest and move on..which I believe is what happened in your case with the 25 year old. That's all I'm saying...... Edited March 13, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 I understand that, but what about all those months prior, *before* the new guy entered the picture? You know, when she was *chasing* you? And if what you said above is true, why then did you give her friend the note indicating your interest? I mean, she was with the new guy, right? But despite that, you chose to go after her anyway by giving her friend the note. Which is great, albeit a little too late, since by then, she had moved on to new guy. TS, I am not trying to be adversarial here, or give you a hard time, I jst think you should acknowledge your mistake here. That when a woman is chasing you, expressing interest, and you really like her too....don't putter around hoping she will ask you out or up the ante .... gather up your courage and ask her out! That's all I'm saying...... I hear you and have admitted to my mistake... I only did the note because I was told the current guy wasn't her boyfriend and I kept getting encouragement to do something. Looking back, it could have meant she really liked me that is why I got encouragement... or I was being setting up to look stupid - it was a game all along to see what I would do. The note was my limit. If things don't work out, you let me know.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 I understand that, and that's fair, but what about all those months prior, *before* the new guy entered the picture? Forgot to mention, this guy was in the picture the whole time I was being chased. I found out later. I think this girl is the type who isn't satisfied for very long. Stays at one job for a bit, quits, moves onto another one... dates one guy for a bit, likes someone else, moves onto another guy...
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 I hear you and have admitted to my mistake... I only did the note because I was told the current guy wasn't her boyfriend and I kept getting encouragement to do something. Looking back, it could have meant she really liked me that is why I got encouragement... or I was being setting up to look stupid - it was a game all along to see what I would do. The note was my limit. If things don't work out, you let me know. Fair enough TS, and again, sorry things didn't work out with her... But, and jmo, it may be best to not involve other people when pursuing a woman. Keep it between you and her. You notice she is *chasing* and flirting, sending you strong vibes she is interested ...jump on that and ask her out. No one else needs to know or be involved. Getting other people involved in your business like that has the potential to mess things up. Mixed messages, mixed communication, potential sabotage....some people can be viscious....jealous or whatevs. Keep things between you and the girl, this isn't high school..... :)
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Forgot to mention, this guy was in the picture the whole time I was being chased. I found out later. I think this girl is the type who isn't satisfied for very long. Stays at one job for a bit, quits, moves onto another one... dates one guy for a bit, likes someone else, moves onto another guy... Wow, really? Well in that case, me thinks you dodged a huge bullet!!! Chasing you while having a bf? That's messed up.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Fair enough TS, and again, sorry things didn't work out with her... But, and jmo, it may be best to not involve other people when pursuing a woman. Keep it between you and her. You notice she is *chasing* and flirting, sending you strong vibes she is interested ...jump on that and ask her out. No one else needs to know or be involved. Getting other people involved in your business like that has the potential to mess things up. Mixed messages, mixed communication, potential sabotage....some people can be viscious....jealous or whatevs. Keep things between you and the girl, this isn't high school..... :) Agreed. In my defense I was relatively new to this environment and didn't want to start up any kind of drama. SHE got other people involved which led to people bugging me and gossiping... that's why I went to her friend. The big mistake I made, which you point out, is I didn't go directly to her. What I said to her friend though I feel was on the money. To me it was like a business negotiation: I'm only going so far considering the circumstances.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Wow, really? Well in that case, me thinks you dodged a huge bullet!!! Chasing you while having a bf? That's messed up. The first time I spoke to her friend I was told about him. I was in shock considering what had been going on there. I was respectful with my response. I said if they're not in a committed relationship, I'm interested. The girl tells me to come around later that night to talk to her. wtf? Sounded sneaky. I didn't go for it. I just said tell her to say hi to me next time she sees me. Things got so strange after that. The guy made an appearance. Yet the friend pulls me aside and tells me to make a move right now as she was quitting. That's why I did the note. I wasn't sure what was going on.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 13, 2016 Author Posted March 13, 2016 Wow, really? Well in that case, me thinks you dodged a huge bullet!!! Chasing you while having a bf? That's messed up. Yea, but she's young and I'm sure when you were her age you might have done the same thing? Dating, nothing serious, liking different guys all at once... I'm just at an age I want to slow it down and commit to one person. I'm sure you can tell, I can't handle much of this nonsense as it drives me batty.
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Yea, but she's young and I'm sure when you were her age you might have done the same thing? Dating, nothing serious, liking different guys all at once... I'm just at an age I want to slow it down and commit to one person. I'm sure you can tell, I can't handle much of this nonsense as it drives me batty. No sweets, I assure you, I never did anything like that. Even in high school, I did not behave that way. I know other girls did, but I never did, and was always told by guys how *different* I was than other girls. I still get told that!! I didn't understand it back then, but now I do. Especially after being on this board and reading about what you guys go through with some women! Arghh. Course women deal with it too...from guys. So it goes both ways. Dating is hard! Especially since the birth of OLD.
Jabron1 Posted March 13, 2016 Posted March 13, 2016 Forgot to mention, this guy was in the picture the whole time I was being chased. I found out later. I think this girl is the type who isn't satisfied for very long. Stays at one job for a bit, quits, moves onto another one... dates one guy for a bit, likes someone else, moves onto another guy... There are often other guys sniffing around a beautiful woman. You shouldn't let that stop you Don't allow yourself to get dragged into drama, you're making life complicated for yourself. Just ask her out, and have fun. If it's no fun, then just move on.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 There are often other guys sniffing around a beautiful woman. You shouldn't let that stop you Don't allow yourself to get dragged into drama, you're making life complicated for yourself. Just ask her out, and have fun. If it's no fun, then just move on. I put on the brakes when I find out the woman is dating another man. Even if I do get her to go with me and leave her current guy, how long will she stay with me? I really believe the prettier the woman is, the crazier she is, the more drama is involved, the more of a headache you have to deal with...
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 No sweets, I assure you, I never did anything like that. Even in high school, I did not behave that way. I know other girls did, but I never did, and was always told by guys how *different* I was than other girls. I still get told that!! I didn't understand it back then, but now I do. Especially after being on this board and reading about what you guys go through with some women! Arghh. Course women deal with it too...from guys. So it goes both ways. Dating is hard! Especially since the birth of OLD. The problem is there are men and women who are sociopaths when it comes to relationships and dating. One thing I can't stand are people who want to have their cake and eat it, too. If you're in a relationship you really don't want to be in, then get out. I hate how people make sure they got someone else lined up before they get out of their current relationship. 1
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) I put on the brakes when I find out the woman is dating another man. Even if I do get her to go with me and leave her current guy, how long will she stay with me? ---- **I really believe the prettier the woman is, the crazier she is, the more drama is involved, the more of a headache you have to deal with... TS .....I truly believe it has more to do with age and immaturity than looks. Or perhaps it's a combo of very good looks, young age and immaturity. Seriously, try going 30-35 (I would say older even but you want kids)....women are still beautiful in their 30s, but more mature, more inclined to know what they want and not play these stupid games you've been subjected to with these chicks. . Edited March 14, 2016 by katiegrl
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 TS .....I truly believe it has more to do with age and immaturity than looks. Or perhaps it's a combo of very good looks, young age and immaturity. Seriously, try going 30-35 (I would say older even but you want kids)....women are still beautiful in their 30s, but more mature, more inclined to know what they want and not play these stupid games you've been subjected to with these chicks. Fair point. This is a big reason why I hesitant to say hello. Yes, there are many beautiful women in their 30s. I just want to meet a great person not some ditz who is only going to give me a giant headache.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) Fair point. This is a big reason why I hesitant to say hello. Yes, there are many beautiful women in their 30s. I just want to meet a great person not some ditz who is only going to give me a giant headache. Okay, try 30-35 then, we agree on that. Next step is *quickly* weeding out the *ditzes* lol Ask her out, and talk. Ask questions, get to know her. Use your intuition to determine what type of woman/person she is. Don't get all caught up in her beauty and ignore red flags or even potential red flags! Pay attention, stay grounded! If you can do that, you should find out relatively quickly if she's a ditz...or if she's a beautiful, stable woman worthy of having a RL with. If she's a ditz, it's next. Even if she's the most stunning beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life, if she appears to be a ditz ....it's next. On the other hand, if she appears to be solid, stable, you pursue! Edited March 14, 2016 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) Also, TS, be wary of beautiful women who approach you. Beautiful women have so many options, and men pursuing them, they don't need to approach men. You can trust me on that one! So if they are, be wary, something's up. Most likely they want to use you to make a bf jealous or cause some other ridiculous drama. I know it's flattering, but stay grounded. I would venture to guess 99.9% of the time they have some hidden agenda involving a boyfriend or ex. Edited March 14, 2016 by katiegrl
Jabron1 Posted March 14, 2016 Posted March 14, 2016 I could be wrong, but I actually think the problem is that you are being too cautious. You have used the term 'not a quality woman', and 'I'm looking for the one' a lot throughout this thread. But there is no 'one'. There are lot's of different 'ones' with different strengths and weaknesses. It seems like you are looking for faults in this woman before you've even dated her, or got to know her. What's wrong with asking her out, having fun, and seeing where it goes? I think you might be looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist. And, your reluctance to invest in anything less than the 'one' is making you risk averse.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 If she's a ditz, it's next. Even if she's the most stunning beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life, if she appears to be a ditz ....it's next. Can you record this so I can play it on my phone when this happens?
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 I could be wrong, but I actually think the problem is that you are being too cautious. You have used the term 'not a quality woman', and 'I'm looking for the one' a lot throughout this thread. But there is no 'one'. There are lot's of different 'ones' with different strengths and weaknesses. It seems like you are looking for faults in this woman before you've even dated her, or got to know her. What's wrong with asking her out, having fun, and seeing where it goes? I think you might be looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist. And, your reluctance to invest in anything less than the 'one' is making you risk averse. Too cautious? Chick is chasing me around the place for months, and while I admitted I was nervous to speak up, something else in my gut was keeping me from talking to her. I find out she's dating a guy. Ummm... Look, I know no one is perfect, but the last thing I need is to fall hard for someone who is a liar, cheat or psycho.
Author truth_seeker Posted March 14, 2016 Author Posted March 14, 2016 Also, TS, be wary of beautiful women who approach you. Beautiful women have so many options, and men pursuing them, they don't need to approach men. You can trust me on that one! So if they are, be wary, something's up. Most likely they want to use you to make a bf jealous or cause some other ridiculous drama. I know it's flattering, but stay grounded. I would venture to guess 99.9% of the time they have some hidden agenda involving a boyfriend or ex. My take was she liked me, had a crush and is not too into the current guy she is with... I just took too long and never stepped up when I was given many opportunities to say hello. To your points, though, if I'm in a hotel in Vegas, Miami or LA, and a beautiful woman approaches me, she's a hooker.
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