Starting to Feel the Clock is Ticking

[AMJ]

It's the 'what if' factor. I keep feeling I missed out on something possibly special. Maybe that's crazy talk... but that's how I'm seeing it.

 

If you're really still wondering 'what if'....and you shouldn't be, but if that's true, then I say, it's not over till it's over. Try, try again. Persistence pays off sometimes. And get advice from Jabron. Better yet, fly him to Chicago to be your wingman.

[katiegrl]

It's the 'what if' factor. I keep feeling I missed out on something possibly special. Maybe that's crazy talk... but that's how I'm seeing it.

 

There is a saying ....it's not what we *do* that we regret....it's what we *don't do* that we often regret.

 

TS lesson learned for next time.

 

Take a risk....you may get shot down but hell at least you tried.

 

But then again, it may work out!

 

Next time.

[Jabron1]

TS lesson learned for next time.

 

Two things I like to tell myself:

 

1. Each woman is practice for the next

2. I'm not getting any less sex from her

 

TS, you have to develop that sort of mindset. Otherwise, each knockback is going to hit you hard.

Edited March 11, 2016 by Jabron1

[truth_seeker]

If you're really still wondering 'what if'....and you shouldn't be, but if that's true, then I say, it's not over till it's over. Try, try again. Persistence pays off sometimes.

 

The only options left are these:

1) I go to her friend AGAIN to get an update.

2) Facebook. I mention this because the girl has shown up on my PYMK list, which I find odd.

3) I find out where she works now, show up with flowers and tell her "I'm LL Cool J... Ladies Love Cool Jabron."

 

I don't feel comfortable with any of those. I think the friend is a liar and possibly even sabotaged this whole thing. Facebook, ugh. Sounds stalkerish and desperate. The last one, obviously, a joke.

 

BTW, just playing Jabron. Your good people.

[truth_seeker]

There is a saying ....it's not what we *do* that we regret....it's what we *don't do* that we often regret.

 

TS lesson learned for next time.

 

Take a risk....you may get shot down but hell at least you tried.

 

But then again, it may work out!

 

Next time.

 

I hear you, and agree... but I did leave my name and number with her friend and put down a question about going out sometime. That I'm regretting but I was put on the spot by the friend to go up to her right then and there and felt too much pressure. Believe me when I say something was off with that... I wasn't scared to approach her but something just didn't feel right.

 

That was 2 weeks ago, haven't heard a thing, so I'm sure the girl will never call or text -- I don't expect a 25 year old to reach out to me. I think though she has Facebook stalked me however.

[truth_seeker]

Two things I like to tell myself:

 

1. Each woman is practice for the next

2. I'm not getting any less sex from her

 

TS, you have to develop that sort of mindset. Otherwise, each knockback is going to hit you hard.

 

That 32 year old the next night, talk about a comeback. To feel rejected by one and then score with someone else that quickly, it helped me quite a bit. Funny how I can screw up one day but then behave brilliantly the next. I need to be more consistent.

[Imajerk17]

This description of game I agree with more. But, would you suggest that a guy is able to create chemistry with anyone he's interested in, every single time? I think men have the ability to reel us in, and some are better at this than others, but women are able to reel men in too. And sometimes it doesn't matter how good someone's game is, if you're not interested, you're not interested.

 

Also, above all else, I think confidence is the most important quality men can have to attract women. It trumps looks and money every time. Few people can pull off being perfectly confident and not appearing arrogant. It's extremely sexy. Confidence is kryptonite for women.

 

Of course not, a guy is not able to create chemistry with every woman he is interested in, any time. And whether two people actually end up getting together depends on a whole bunch of things, including luck--the woman giving the guy a chance even if she isn't feeling chemistry on the first or second date, being in the same circle of friends or working together (repeated exposure), being thrown together in an emotionally charged situation ect.

 

As far as your female friends with these nerdy guys, who knows how strong the attraction really is or whether these women "settled" for these guys. Thing is though, people think of "game" as this complex sequence of rituals and techniques (or that we even have to DO anything for the woman to feel attraction for us, besides being masculine, which isn't always the case) whereas in reality a huge part of it is simply just "Go Get Her!". Just keep pursuing even if the woman throws up obstacles. That often works. Maybe that is what your friends' nerdy partners did and your friends were turned on by that?

 

I agree with you that confidence is really sexy in either gender, isn't "Just Go Get 'Em" Game kind of a manifestation of that though? It takes guts to pursue someone in that fashion.

 

@truth_seeker , women have needs too Maybe the woman you had sex with was horny before the date and found you attractive anyway during dinner due to your mannerisms. Your asking for sex so nonchalantly was a pretty bold move though. Maybe it turned on this woman?

Edited March 11, 2016 by Imajerk17

[Jabron1]

And get advice from Jabron. Better yet, fly him to Chicago to be your wingman.

 

I would kill it out there with my British accent.

 

I'll call it 'Limey game'

[AMJ]

I would kill it out there with my British accent.

 

I'll call it 'Limey game'

 

hahahaha I'm more partial to the Irish but that's just me.

 

https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/008978f9-a7d1-443c-8c8b-24d53330b35e

[Jabron1]

hahahaha I'm more partial to the Irish but that's just me.

 

You have a thing for gingers

[AMJ]

You have a thing for gingers

 

No I have a thing for Jamie Dornan. My friend has a thing for gingers and he says we should call them rubies because they're precious gems.

[truth_seeker]

 

@truth_seeker , women have needs too Maybe the woman you had sex with was horny before the date and found you attractive anyway during dinner due to your mannerisms. Your asking for sex so nonchalantly was a pretty bold move though. Maybe it turned on this woman?

 

If it wasn't for the 25 year old fiasco the day before, I wouldn't have said what I said to the 32 year old. Honestly, it's hard to tell. I'm not knocking all women with this comment, but there are women who change their minds every second and I probably caught her at the right moment... I'm sure during dinner she was thinking: "Hmmm... do I want to kiss him? No. The food tastes alright. He looks cute in that shirt. Ugh, I have to take the clothes out of the dryer when I get home. I'm kinda horny right now, yea, I'll sleep with him."

[truth_seeker]

I would kill it out there with my British accent.

 

I'll call it 'Limey game'

 

Fly over and I'll get the first two rounds.

[Poutrew]

OP, it seems to me that by reading your posts, that your entire existence revolves around your little buddy, if you know what I mean. Girls can detect that from a mile off, and usually steer clear of the guys whose entire brain can fit in their little head. That's why you have so much 'luck' with the girls that impress you the least. With all the talk a few posts ago about having successful 'game', an older guy such as myself just has to smile. Even the so - called alpha males who pride themselves on getting most of the girls they target don't seem to realize that their game is so visible to even the tawdriest of women, that it literally makes them sitting ducks for those women to target them. It takes wisdom to realize the most effective 'game' is the one that is invisible. Why? Because it sets you free. It breaks the chain that binds your penis to other's desire. When that happens women want you but don't know why. You are like a sliver in their mind that they can't get rid of. If you planted the sliver in that 25 year old's mind, then she'll call you. It would just be a matter of time... and you can take it or not as you see fit. The alpha dogs don't even realize that they are fighting over scraps guys like me leave behind... Don't feel bad though. You'll eventually come to understand what I'm talking about ... though if you are in your 40's perhaps the glimmer is starting to sharpen into focus.

[AMJ]

It takes wisdom to realize the most effective 'game' is the one that is invisible. Why? Because it sets you free. It breaks the chain that binds your penis to other's desire. When that happens women want you but don't know why. You are like a sliver in their mind that they can't get rid of. .

 

It's like the Yoda of Sex just walked into this conversation....tell us all how to get laid, he will.

[Jabron1]

Lots of words, very little pragmatism. Very little of use.

 

But alright, I'll entertain it with an open mind.

 

Even the so - called alpha males who pride themselves on getting most of the girls they target don't seem to realize that their game is so visible to even the tawdriest of women, that it literally makes them sitting ducks for those women to target them

 

How am I being targeted, when I am the chooser, not the chosen?

 

There is always an exchange of value going on – granted. No woman will want to spend time with a man that isn't enriching her life in some way. But, as long as a man operates from a masculine results based frame, he won't go far wrong.

 

It takes wisdom to realize the most effective 'game' is the one that is invisible.

 

Pragmatism is paramount. A man must make things happen. I run a masculine, sexual game – very direct. I would like you to try and run indirect game on the streets, and then come here and still tell me that it's superior.

 

My game is direct; yours is indirect. But don't make the mistake of thinking that I don't have an understanding of indirect game, and when/how to use it.

 

When that happens women want you but don't know why. You are like a sliver in their mind that they can't get rid of. If you planted the sliver in that 25 year old's mind, then she'll call you.

 

I can, and have, gone back for women years later. One of which even broke up with her boyfriend, on my arrival, to be with me again. That is the sort of respect an alpha can command in a woman. A phonecall isn't exactly going to rock my world.

 

Listen, if you've got some knowledge that can make us all better men, then be straightforward about it, and share it like I do. I'm all ears.

Edited March 12, 2016 by Jabron1

[truth_seeker]

OP, it seems to me that by reading your posts, that your entire existence revolves around your little buddy, if you know what I mean. Girls can detect that from a mile off, and usually steer clear of the guys whose entire brain can fit in their little head. That's why you have so much 'luck' with the girls that impress you the least. With all the talk a few posts ago about having successful 'game', an older guy such as myself just has to smile. Even the so - called alpha males who pride themselves on getting most of the girls they target don't seem to realize that their game is so visible to even the tawdriest of women, that it literally makes them sitting ducks for those women to target them. It takes wisdom to realize the most effective 'game' is the one that is invisible. Why? Because it sets you free. It breaks the chain that binds your penis to other's desire. When that happens women want you but don't know why. You are like a sliver in their mind that they can't get rid of. If you planted the sliver in that 25 year old's mind, then she'll call you. It would just be a matter of time... and you can take it or not as you see fit. The alpha dogs don't even realize that they are fighting over scraps guys like me leave behind... Don't feel bad though. You'll eventually come to understand what I'm talking about ... though if you are in your 40's perhaps the glimmer is starting to sharpen into focus.

 

You might be confusing me a bit with Jabron?

 

Let me tell you with this 25 year old - she chased me. Hard. For months. I just didn't have the nerve to talk to her because I was nervous due to the environment we were in and the age gap concerned me. It seems the more I kept my mouth shut, the more the chase became aggressive. I finally open my mouth - to her friend - and things got strange. Not sure what happened. I hear there's another guy in the picture yet I'm encouraged to still go after her. That's a big reason why I didn't do much other than offer my number and her to call me. The message was simple: I don't chase women with boyfriends. You like me? Break up with him and let me know. You got my number.

 

If she calls, great. If she texts me, great. Will she? No. It probably turned her off I went through the friend. I think the friend got annoyed she was the go-between us.

 

Most of these things don't bother me. I was just so caught up with her looks. She's really beautiful.

[truth_seeker]

I can, and have, gone back for women years later. One of which even broke up with her boyfriend, on my arrival, to be with me again. That is the sort of respect an alpha can command in a woman. A phonecall isn't exactly going to rock my world.

 

In my younger years this old guy told me once you "hit it" you can always "hit it" again. I think this is true as I was at a bar with my friend and he knew the bartender. They hooked up in the past. She was currently involved with a guy but told my friend they should hang out when she gets off her shift. He declined because he has a girlfriend but the bartender texted him and texted him to stop by her place.

[Poutrew]

see reply in bold.

Lots of words, very little pragmatism. Very little of use.

 

But alright, I'll entertain it with an open mind.

 

 

 

How am I being targeted, when I am the chooser, not the chosen?

 

Of course you are being targeted. If you look anything like your picture, the girl wants what you have. She recognizes your game as part of the mating dance. You have your part to play, and she has hers. In the end, it's all good because you'll eventually get to where you want to be. If you really want to know what she is thinking, be around when she is discussing you with her girlfriends (and she doesn't know you are listening) - it'll be a real eye opener.

 

There is always an exchange of value going on – granted. No woman will want to spend time with a man that isn't enriching her life in some way. But, as long as a man operates from a masculine results based frame, he won't go far wrong.

 

 

 

Pragmatism is paramount. A man must make things happen. I run a masculine, sexual game – very direct. I would like you to try and run indirect game on the streets, and then come here and still tell me that it's superior.

 

Here, I'll bow to your street smarts. That's too fast paced and sexualized for my tastes. The hook-up culture has never attracted me.

 

My game is direct; yours is indirect. But don't make the mistake of thinking that I don't have an understanding of indirect game, and when/how to use it.

 

 

 

I can, and have, gone back for women years later. One of which even broke up with her boyfriend, on my arrival, to be with me again. That is the sort of respect an alpha can command in a woman. A phonecall isn't exactly going to rock my world.

 

Listen, if you've got some knowledge that can make us all better men, then be straightforward about it, and share it like I do. I'm all ears.

 

So, how would I, an older guy, steal a younger, super hot girl from a younger, testosterone filled alpha in the prime of his powers? It's actually a simple process - but it takes time. As an example, several years ago I had a renter, a nice, good looking girl who was working as a teacher and studying to get her doctorate in educational theory. Since I knew a thing or three about the subject, when I came over to pick up the rent check, I'd offer to look at her thesis. One time I was there when her boyfriend came to get her for a date. She introduced us and made damn sure he knew I was the landlord. He wasn't too happy to see me - he was basically a jealous insecure guy who was threatened by me, a man twice his age.

 

The next month, when I went to get the check, I talked to her about her guy. Now, did I say anything negative? No. I chatted her up on what a wonderful guy I thought he was. I told her how impressed I was with him, and how handsome I thought he was, and what a good catch she made. I knew that it goes against human nature to accept a compliment without reservation. It's like when you tell a friend what a nice car he has, and he says, "Thanks, but I wish it got better gas mileage." I think the principle is called reflectance. You are forcing the other person to acknowledge the faults in your argument. It worked. She admitted the guy was mostly nice, but could be a jerk at times. He was a control freak who liked to be in charge. He even does all the ordering of food for the both of them when they go out... In a non threatening, non-judgemental way I basically forced her to acknowledge the guy's faults. Once they were spoken out loud, they are history that can not be changed. She was forced to deal with them at that point. I had done what I had wanted to do. I had planted the seed ...and then I left (bet you thought I was going to say 'then I went in for the kill', eh? )

 

It was only a matter of time. It took 2 months for them to break up. She never even realized what I had done to set the whole ball of wax rolling. And the boyfriend never knew what had hit him. Now, at this point I could have gone in for the kill. She was lonely. I was a friend. And she was open. But, that wasn't my goal in this case. She was less than half my age and I knew it wouldn't be appropriate even if she didn't. I purposely friend zoned myself. She eventually found a wonderful guy, a middle school guidance councilor and married him. She is now a Doctor of psychology and making tons of money and has a devoted husband and they are working on their third kid. The only losers in this true story were the old boyfriend and myself - I eventually lost a good paying renter

 

This is what I mean when I said true freedom can be achieved by men only when they learn to cut the chains that bind then to the needs of their dick. In my example, I planted the seed, and patiently waited for it to germinate. I was there through the whole process. I could have reaped a bountiful harvest, but I am enough of a decent guy to know that this harvest wasn't meant for me. However, I have used this exact technique in the past and *have* reaped the harvest...

[AMJ]

 

Listen, if you've got some knowledge that can make us all better men, then be straightforward about it, and share it like I do. I'm all ears.

 

I was intrigued until I read his post about surrogates.

 

For the record Poutrew, my going rate would be around 250K. Who on earth would carry someone's baby for 10K? The compensation for egg donation is around 10K. Sheesh.

[truth_seeker]

see reply in bold.

 

 

So, how would I, an older guy, steal a younger, super hot girl from a younger, testosterone filled alpha in the prime of his powers? It's actually a simple process - but it takes time. As an example, several years ago I had a renter, a nice, good looking girl who was working as a teacher and studying to get her doctorate in educational theory. Since I knew a thing or three about the subject, when I came over to pick up the rent check, I'd offer to look at her thesis. One time I was there when her boyfriend came to get her for a date. She introduced us and made damn sure he knew I was the landlord. He wasn't too happy to see me - he was basically a jealous insecure guy who was threatened by me, a man twice his age.

 

The next month, when I went to get the check, I talked to her about her guy. Now, did I say anything negative? No. I chatted her up on what a wonderful guy I thought he was. I told her how impressed I was with him, and how handsome I thought he was, and what a good catch she made. I knew that it goes against human nature to accept a compliment without reservation. It's like when you tell a friend what a nice car he has, and he says, "Thanks, but I wish it got better gas mileage." I think the principle is called reflectance. You are forcing the other person to acknowledge the faults in your argument. It worked. She admitted the guy was mostly nice, but could be a jerk at times. He was a control freak who liked to be in charge. He even does all the ordering of food for the both of them when they go out... In a non threatening, non-judgemental way I basically forced her to acknowledge the guy's faults. Once they were spoken out loud, they are history that can not be changed. She was forced to deal with them at that point. I had done what I had wanted to do. I had planted the seed ...and then I left (bet you thought I was going to say 'then I went in for the kill', eh? )

 

It was only a matter of time. It took 2 months for them to break up. She never even realized what I had done to set the whole ball of wax rolling. And the boyfriend never knew what had hit him. Now, at this point I could have gone in for the kill. She was lonely. I was a friend. And she was open. But, that wasn't my goal in this case. She was less than half my age and I knew it wouldn't be appropriate even if she didn't. I purposely friend zoned myself. She eventually found a wonderful guy, a middle school guidance councilor and married him. She is now a Doctor of psychology and making tons of money and has a devoted husband and they are working on their third kid. The only losers in this true story were the old boyfriend and myself - I eventually lost a good paying renter

 

This is what I mean when I said true freedom can be achieved by men only when they learn to cut the chains that bind then to the needs of their dick. In my example, I planted the seed, and patiently waited for it to germinate. I was there through the whole process. I could have reaped a bountiful harvest, but I am enough of a decent guy to know that this harvest wasn't meant for me. However, I have used this exact technique in the past and *have* reaped the harvest...

 

This is a very good post. Good insight on how a seasoned veteran plays it compared to a young buck.

 

The young buck would opt to trash the boyfriend; the seasoned vet compliments him in effort to have the reverse effect.

 

It's like a friend of mine told me: If you get rejected by a girl who has a boyfriend, don't storm off, act like a bitter jerk. Instead, tell her that her boyfriend's a lucky guy to have her and walk away. That will plant a seed in her head that she could be missing out on a great guy and she will reevaluate just how appreciative and lucky the boyfriend is to have her.

Edited March 12, 2016 by truth_seeker

[Jabron1]

see reply in bold.

So, how would I, an older guy, steal a younger, super hot girl from a younger, testosterone filled alpha in the prime of his powers? It's actually a simple process - but it takes time. As an example, several years ago I had a renter, a nice, good looking girl who was working as a teacher and studying to get her doctorate in educational theory. Since I knew a thing or three about the subject, when I came over to pick up the rent check, I'd offer to look at her thesis. One time I was there when her boyfriend came to get her for a date. She introduced us and made damn sure he knew I was the landlord. He wasn't too happy to see me - he was basically a jealous insecure guy who was threatened by me, a man twice his age.

 

The next month, when I went to get the check, I talked to her about her guy. Now, did I say anything negative? No. I chatted her up on what a wonderful guy I thought he was. I told her how impressed I was with him, and how handsome I thought he was, and what a good catch she made. I knew that it goes against human nature to accept a compliment without reservation. It's like when you tell a friend what a nice car he has, and he says, "Thanks, but I wish it got better gas mileage." I think the principle is called reflectance. You are forcing the other person to acknowledge the faults in your argument. It worked. She admitted the guy was mostly nice, but could be a jerk at times. He was a control freak who liked to be in charge. He even does all the ordering of food for the both of them when they go out... In a non threatening, non-judgemental way I basically forced her to acknowledge the guy's faults. Once they were spoken out loud, they are history that can not be changed. She was forced to deal with them at that point. I had done what I had wanted to do. I had planted the seed ...and then I left (bet you thought I was going to say 'then I went in for the kill', eh? )

 

It was only a matter of time. It took 2 months for them to break up. She never even realized what I had done to set the whole ball of wax rolling. And the boyfriend never knew what had hit him. Now, at this point I could have gone in for the kill. She was lonely. I was a friend. And she was open. But, that wasn't my goal in this case. She was less than half my age and I knew it wouldn't be appropriate even if she didn't. I purposely friend zoned myself. She eventually found a wonderful guy, a middle school guidance councilor and married him. She is now a Doctor of psychology and making tons of money and has a devoted husband and they are working on their third kid. The only losers in this true story were the old boyfriend and myself - I eventually lost a good paying renter

 

This is what I mean when I said true freedom can be achieved by men only when they learn to cut the chains that bind then to the needs of their dick. In my example, I planted the seed, and patiently waited for it to germinate. I was there through the whole process. I could have reaped a bountiful harvest, but I am enough of a decent guy to know that this harvest wasn't meant for me. However, I have used this exact technique in the past and *have* reaped the harvest...

 

Her boyfriend wasn't alpha; he was a weak and insecure beta - displacing him is childsplay.

 

You achieved nothing. You invested your time and energy in breaking up an insecure couple by playing a few simple mindgames, lost a good paying renter, and never got the girl.

 

Machiavellian masturbation IMO.

[Jabron1]

The young buck would opt to trash the boyfriend; the seasoned vet compliments him in effort to have the reverse effect.

 

I probably wouldn't even have acknowledged his existence.

[Poutrew]

Her boyfriend wasn't alpha; he was a weak and insecure beta - displacing him is childsplay.

 

You achieved nothing. You invested your time and energy in breaking up an insecure couple by playing a few simple mindgames, lost a good paying renter, and never got the girl.

 

Machiavellian masturbation IMO.

 

 

Au contraire mon ami. I gained a treasure beyond price. I gained two dear friends. I gained two, and soon three, beautiful babies to play with and watch grow up. Turns out my dear friends' hubby is a very good cook and they both like trying out new culinary creations on me - they joke that if Pouty can survive eating it, they know it's safe I never thought I would like anything that had snails in it - turns out they are amazing when combined with abalone... I would have gone to my grave never having known that otherwise. I got to see the three year old being more interested in the box than the toy I got her last Christmas. Absolutely amazing... so I lost a renter. Someone else took her place - a nice older lady who can't seem to figure out the garage door opener. Life goes on, and I make my own reality. I think of what would have happened if I had made a move all those years ago... some sex would have happened. Then it would have been over as she woke up to the fact that I was 30 years older than her. Then she would have been gone. In doing what I did, I created a reality where I now have a friend for life. How much is that worth...?

 

Sex is not everything, friend. But hey, it's all good. You have found a more direct way to get your needs met and if it works, then more power to you. All I can say is what works for me... I am in my late 50's and I can easily remember when I last had a knockout 23 year old woman as a bed partner because it was only 6 months ago. I sincerely hope that when you become a crusty old crab such as myself, you can still say that your game is getting your need met as well.

[Jabron1]

Au contraire mon ami. I gained a treasure beyond price. I gained two dear friends. I gained two, and soon three, beautiful babies to play with and watch grow up. Turns out my dear friends' hubby is a very good cook and they both like trying out new culinary creations on me - they joke that if Pouty can survive eating it, they know it's safe I never thought I would like anything that had snails in it - turns out they are amazing when combined with abalone... I would have gone to my grave never having known that otherwise. I got to see the three year old being more interested in the box than the toy I got her last Christmas. Absolutely amazing... so I lost a renter. Someone else took her place - a nice older lady who can't seem to figure out the garage door opener. Life goes on, and I make my own reality. I think of what would have happened if I had made a move all those years ago... some sex would have happened. Then it would have been over as she woke up to the fact that I was 30 years older than her. Then she would have been gone. In doing what I did, I created a reality where I now have a friend for life. How much is that worth...?

 

Sex is not everything, friend. But hey, it's all good. You have found a more direct way to get your needs met and if it works, then more power to you. All I can say is what works for me... I am in my late 50's and I can easily remember when I last had a knockout 23 year old woman as a bed partner because it was only 6 months ago. I sincerely hope that when you become a crusty old crab such as myself, you can still say that your game is getting your need met as well.

 

The only issue I took is that you were claiming a kind of superiority.

 

Our approach should match our lifestyle, and personality. What works for me won't work for everyone. I just think that guys can pick and choose the parts that work for me, or you, and put them to use.

 

You have something that works, and you're happy. Fair play to you.

 

And no, I doubt I'll be playing the same game in 30 years time

 

Hell, just 6 or 7 years ago my approach was completely different. I was going to raves, and clubs, and met women that way.

 

I'm more laid back these days, if you can believe that