nms512 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Hi. This is sort of difficult for me but I want to get some release and relief. I think I need to start from the beginning. In my last year of college a girl and I had an unplanned pregnancy. We were scared and didn't know what to do. She decided to keep him. At the time I was very scared and was not the best to her. In time we decided to be together but lived in different cities. Eventually she moved out to me and we lived together. Things seemed to be going great. We were in love and the baby was doing great (still is). Suddenly - this last December she decides she isn't sure, she wants to move out and break up. Obviously I am surprised, but what can I do? So I accept it, help her move out and we are now living apart. She said she wants to make sure we are right for each other. So the last few months were going well, we were being great friends and working towards more again. That is, until just a couple nights ago. I was feeling a lot of emotion and I kind of exploded. I said some very mean, hurtful and immature things. She told me before that she really thought we would be okay but now I absolutely ruined everything. She called me a disgusting human being. I did not mean the things I said at all, honestly! I am not that person and I love her so much. This breakup is just so hard because we have so see each other all the time because of our child. I went too far the other night and she said so many things why she hates me. What do I do here? I want to give her space (haven't seen her since this happened) but I also want to apologize. Do I have hope that we can move past this? Or do I try to move on? We will always have some sort of relationship because of our son, but she said we will just be friends for him.I want to have hope that she will come around - maybe a long time from now. I really feel we are meant to be and everything happens for a reason. I am so sad and depressed. The only thing keeping me going is my son. Thanks to anyone who reads this and can provide any clarity.
nessrox Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I'm sorry man, I'm going through something similar but worse lol. If you're interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/572254-fiance-not-love-anymore-wants-live-house-though-go-school I can't really give you good advice on what to do, since I am looking for advice myself. However what I think you need to do is send one last apology text explaining why you did what you did. But after you send that one last apology text you need to start NO CONTACT. It's hard to do this, when doing no contact when you have a child but you can do it to an extent. And what I mean by this is being very professional and short with her like she is a co-worker you don't really talk to. Here is a good video that might help you: Do not buy the guys book or whatever, just listen what he says about maintaining about a professional exterior. You want to try and make it more business like, not being rude, not being jerkish, but more standoffish. So, say your last sorry and then I recommend being pleasant and standoffish.
QueenElsa Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I would thoroughly apologize. I mean, if you said a bunch of awful things, that only makes sense.
nessrox Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Also one more thing..... During this time, you must move on and date other people, because she may never return and you MUST prepare yourself for the worst. So focus on moving on, I guarantee if you were a good guy like you said you were she might come around some time, but I recommend not looking forward to it, because you will not have allowed yourself to heal, and change who you are. Focus on being a great father, because in the end that's all that matters.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 What exactly did you say to her? We can probably give you better feedback and insight into her current state of mind if you tell us what it was.
Author nms512 Posted March 5, 2016 Author Posted March 5, 2016 What exactly did you say to her? We can probably give you better feedback and insight into her current state of mind if you tell us what it was. Essentially I blamed her for our hardships and I said some childish things, like I want her to give my apartment keys back and get her random things out of my apartment.
Orion39 Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 I think if anyone is honest in their relationships they have these moments of explosion. I just had one with my wife tonight. I work 3rd shift and been sick all day and and have to get ready and with not feeling well, sleeping in etc I snapped and she snapped. The short of it-we were both able to come back after some time had passed to make it right. Ideally, we never say those things but alas it happens. What is important and shows true character is what happens after. Allow that space, but once adequate time has passed reach out and make amends and move forward.
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