JelatineDessert Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 (edited) Hi guys! I'm a 22 year old female. I've never had a boyfriend yet have dated in the past. I am confident and know what I have to offer a man, yet I haven't had much luck in finding someone. I'm the type of person who believes in making things happen for myself, rather than doing nothing and sulking. I believe in taking action towards creating the life you want. I've dated, yet never found someone I liked enough to be with. Finally, I had fallen for someone. (YES!) But...he was taken. Permanently. After much sulking, I decided that I want to put more effort in finding a love for myself. I have made an online dating profile and met up with a great guy and kinda messed up my chances with him by doing something stupid on our date. Never heard from him again. I was so mad at myself and learned from it, but decided to get back into the game and keep trying. After that, I had met an awesome guy from my university that I've had my eye on for the longest time and couldn't believe that this was really happening to me. I was so excited. Things were going great, yet I got disappointed with him because of some really racist things he had said and I know I won't be with someone like that. So, I'm at a point where I feel like I put so much effort and heart into trying to find someone. I've gotten excited and then let down by life. All of those situations seemed so great and when they didnt work out, I am just left standing here wondering, "Am I just not meant to experience some great things in life?" Are there such things as curses? I keep trying to keep my chin up and meet new people, go places, do things. I am supposed to be doing homework for class and studying, but I can't seem to get myself in the mood to do it. I kinda just laid in bed for an hour today sad and wondering if I really am cursed. While dating these guys, I thought "Maybe this will be a new an amazing chapter in my life. " only to just be disappointed that it was all just a mirage. Have you ever felt this way? Did things turn around? Have you had a streak of disappointing dates and finally found someone great? Edited March 3, 2016 by JelatineDessert
neowulf Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Have you ever felt this way? Did things turn around? Have you had a streak of disappointing dates and finally found someone great? You're 22 and still have a long road ahead of you. Life ebbs and flows the way you've described. Sometimes the things that seem like they should be easy for us, end up proving the most difficult. Often, finding a partner turns out to be one of these things. Dating is a process. It's simply something you have to continue with until eventually you find results. There are things you can do to improve your chances though. We all go through those periods of "I give up". I'm going through one now at 37 myself. You just have to keep reminding yourself that there's always tomorrow, always another chance for things to turn around. If you're chasing pointers on your techniques for dating, there are HEAPS of excellent resources floating around. Educate yourself as much as you can. Choosing a partner should matter as much as choosing a career. People really don't give it the thought and care it deserves. Good luck! 3
ff12343 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I was ghosted by a girl i was head over heels over. Saw her multiple times and spoker to her daily till 2am. Needless to say i was played for her amusement. I was hurt so i got back out there, made dating profiles like you as well. Went on about 10 more dates with 7-8 girls/women. None worked out. 4 months later im finding more fish that i seem to be connecting with. Alot are gorgeous. You just need to be optimistic and keep looking. But don't make it your only priority. Stay busy. Learn from mistakes. That's key. Venting helps but depressing and sulking does not. Stay optimistic. 2
Versacehottie Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Hi guys! I'm a 22 year old female. I've never had a boyfriend yet have dated in the past. I am confident and know what I have to offer a man, yet I haven't had much luck in finding someone. I'm the type of person who believes in making things happen for myself, rather than doing nothing and sulking. I believe in taking action towards creating the life you want. I've dated, yet never found someone I liked enough to be with. Finally, I had fallen for someone. (YES!) But...he was taken. Permanently. After much sulking, I decided that I want to put more effort in finding a love for myself. I have made an online dating profile and met up with a great guy and kinda messed up my chances with him by doing something stupid on our date. Never heard from him again. I was so mad at myself and learned from it, but decided to get back into the game and keep trying. After that, I had met an awesome guy from my university that I've had my eye on for the longest time and couldn't believe that this was really happening to me. I was so excited. Things were going great, yet I got disappointed with him because of some really racist things he had said and I know I won't be with someone like that. So, I'm at a point where I feel like I put so much effort and heart into trying to find someone. I've gotten excited and then let down by life. All of those situations seemed so great and when they didnt work out, I am just left standing here wondering, "Am I just not meant to experience some great things in life?" Are there such things as curses? I keep trying to keep my chin up and meet new people, go places, do things. I am supposed to be doing homework for class and studying, but I can't seem to get myself in the mood to do it. I kinda just laid in bed for an hour today sad and wondering if I really am cursed. While dating these guys, I thought "Maybe this will be a new an amazing chapter in my life. " only to just be disappointed that it was all just a mirage. Have you ever felt this way? Did things turn around? Have you had a streak of disappointing dates and finally found someone great? I bolded what you are doing right. That is a great attitude to have (about anything). You could be trying to hard--in that you are putting in so much effort that you are taking things that don't go your way as a failure and then further classifying these "failures" as if they are a summation and reflection of who you are and adopting that belief internally. (bolded in second). So keep doing the first part. Relax and let the results come. Develop somewhat a "routine" of putting yourself out there (as it sounds like you already know how to do; try some new things and adjust, ie learn from what you are doing that doesn't seem to be working as well as it should). Secondly, be easier on yourself. Finding someone is a little trickier than putting in a lot of effort--because you can't control the other person. If you are interested in guys around your age, they also might not be very relationship or serious relationship oriented in general. It only takes one guy to be the one--remind yourself of that and have fun with dating without wanting a "relationship" as much. You are not lacking without one--you are exploring and experiment with who/what works best for you. Change your state of mind to that or something like that so you don't think of these as failures. You sound pretty confident overall so I know you can do this. Good luck 1
Maggie4 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Your attitude towards finding someone is unusual for a woman. You sound more like a guy. Ha ha. This talk of doing the right thing, putting in effort, and making it happen, is typically how guys talk. Most women your age just look pretty and lots of guys will come to you then you can accept or reject. Maybe you're putting out a different vibe from other girls? Love happens when you're not looking. 1
Toodaloo Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 When you get tired look after yourself and to heck with the rest of it. I am nearly double your age so if gives me perspective. What do I do when fed up? I go out and have some fun. Strangely enough I meet some wonderful people when doing that. Instead of sit on my back side worrying about a guy I knew was going to stand me up I booked dancing lessons and had a grand time. Life really is what you make of it. Sitting around waiting for another person to make you feel good is counter productive. 2
smudge21 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I truly believe you need to be happy with yourself, how you are without other people around, before you start pulling other people towards you, especially a loved one. People who focus on having a boy/girlfriend seem to believe that their happiness is solely attached to that person, like they cannot experience true happiness unless a certain someone is with them. I'd much rather meet someone who wants to include me in her life than make me her life altogether. At 22 you really are still so young and therefore, although it's nice to have someone who loves us in our lives, there shouldn't be a rush to go out there and find it, as if your whole purpose of being relies on it. Go do some fun stuff with friends, travel, read, bungee jump, own a dangerous pet, fart in public... all the things you are free to do and can have fun doing. Your twenties should be for living, not for waiting.
Redhead14 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Life is a marathon, not a sprint. A hurdle jumper doesn't stop when he/she knocks over a hurdle, they keep running and then jump the next one . . .
Recommended Posts