ThisisIt606 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 My bf is away on a short work trip (flew out yesterday morning, back tonight). He texted me first last night (while away) asking how my day was, etc. normal chit chat. Today, I texted him around lunch saying I just had my last interview of the week and now looking forward to the weekend. Hope his day is going well! I didn't expect a reply anytime soon as I know his work trips are packed with meetings and hard to text. He texted back at the end of the work day "Just got royally ****ed but glad the interview went well" I was in a meeting then so couldn't reply. I replied about 1 1/2 hours later asking "what happened?" I'm naturally a worry wart and an anxious person. I'm also annoyed he didn't even care to elaborate past "royally ****ed" in his original text. So I'm just left to ask what happened and now wonder with no response... Earlier this week we made plans to see a movie tomorrow night. So I'm not sure if "royally ****ed" means he has to stay another day on is trip... or what? Really could be anything... Should I text something else? I'm a little concerned but I don't want to look crazy/freaking out if it turns out to be no big deal....I just don't like this cliff hanger he set up!
CarrieT Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 He will respond when he can. Don't over-react because you have NO IDEA what he is referring to so don't project. 9
anna121 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 If he know he needs to stay longer he would most likely have told you. So that's just speculation. I'd give him the day and touch base first thing tomorrow am. If he's under a lot of stress he may not appreciate the extra pressure. 1
yxalitis Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Calm da f$ck down! Wow, just take a few deep breaths...! 2
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I would naturally assume he had too much to drink or lost a sale or something.
Sunlight72 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Sometimes things go wrong and are difficult. What would be great for your boyfriend would be if you can be supportive of him. He needs to work on fixing it on his end of things, and to hear that what ever the problem is, you are there for him, and it will be OK from your end of things. He does not need to spend time and energy to make you feel better about your 3 day weekend right now. Please be supportive.
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 I don't have a 3 day weekend unfortunately I still have to go into the office. I would like to be supportive but I'm just not sure what's up since I'm still waiting on a reply. I think I'll text later tonight before bed something like " how's it going, is everything OK?" It's hard to be supportive or know what to say since I have nothing to go on. I want to be supportive though.
Sunlight72 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I see about the three day weekend, my mistake. Can you not call him tonight? Just call and listen. That would be supportive, much more than a text (I think). Yes, you can be supportive. You don't need to know all the details of the problem - what you know is enough. You know he's having a really rough time with work, and he's worried and stressed about it. Tell him you support him, and you're sure he will make the best of it that anyone could. Talking on the phone would be a much more connecting way to reach out to him. Best Wishes.
kendahke Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I don't have a 3 day weekend unfortunately I still have to go into the office. I would like to be supportive but I'm just not sure what's up since I'm still waiting on a reply. I think I'll text later tonight before bed something like " how's it going, is everything OK?" It's hard to be supportive or know what to say since I have nothing to go on. I want to be supportive though. Why automatically assume the worst? He might have had a really bad turn of event with the business he was conducting. He's more than likely still in shock and doing damage control, so you're not going to be first on the list for a few hours. 2
Methodical Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Maybe bc of the royal ef, he was on borrowed time and couldn't elaborate but wanted to touch base. Surely he'll elaborate when he has more time.
Author ThisisIt606 Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 Turns out he was told he has to give a presentation early tomorrow, so just a long and annoying night of preparing for it with flight back in the midst of it all.
frus69 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Jeeez reading the title I thought he dumped you out of the blue or something. You call this bombshell text? Enough to make a thread about it? Seriously calm down sister! There are worse stuff to come! 5
SwordofFlame Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 OP, is there a reason why you're so pessimistic? 3
PacMann87 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 You know his work meetings are packed and filled with meetings. So don't hold it against him for not getting back to you at this point. However if I were you I would text him or leave him a voicemail saying "hey babe, I know you're busy with work but that text you sent worried me. I just wanna make sure everything's ok so if you can just lemme know so I can relax... Xoxo" If he doesn't reply to that then he's kind of an ******* tbh. Doesn't matter how busy his work schedule is... He definitely has a couple minutes before he goes to sleep where he could call you or fill you in. So at some point you have to call Him out on that and say "don't text me things like that unless you're gonna fill me in and tell me what's going on. Because you just had me worried and stressed out for you for no reason when you could've just said , alls good, I'll tell you when I'm home, don't worry tho"
mattelipstick Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I say this with love, OP. Your constant over-over-over-analysis has to be exhausting, no? 3
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Not to totally invalidate your worry...but....that is not a semi-bombshell. Not by a long shot. Do you have a reason to be so anxious about him? I think it would be wise to look at the underlying reason for your panicky reaction and hesitation to follow up with him. Where is that coming from? 4
jen1447 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 This is your BF, not just someone you're dating? If so I think you're certainly entitled not to be kept in the dark about things. If there's some history here I'm unaware of that makes this a clear case of OCD or sth like that, sorry, but based on your OP alone it sounds pretty cut and dried.
elaine567 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 What is Catastrophizing? | Psych Central "Catastrophizing is an irrational thought a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse than it actually is." 2
Sunlight72 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 You know his work meetings are packed and filled with meetings. So don't hold it against him for not getting back to you at this point. However if I were you I would text him or leave him a voicemail saying "hey babe, I know you're busy with work but that text you sent worried me. I just wanna make sure everything's ok so if you can just lemme know so I can relax... Xoxo" If he doesn't reply to that then he's kind of an ******* tbh. Doesn't matter how busy his work schedule is... He definitely has a couple minutes before he goes to sleep where he could call you or fill you in. So at some point you have to call Him out on that and say "don't text me things like that unless you're gonna fill me in and tell me what's going on. Because you just had me worried and stressed out for you for no reason when you could've just said , alls good, I'll tell you when I'm home, don't worry tho"That's nice. So, he has no room to say he's got a ton of stress just dropped on his head? Possibly 15 minutes before her text? He needs to be more concerned for his girlfriend's peace of mind than to ever say he's under pressure? Obviously I disagree. Yay! I'm so glad I don't have such a self-centered girlfriend. I'm probably touchy about this because this is how my ex-wife reacted to most situations, and it left me feeling wrung out and isolated. I wasn't allowed to voice any distress unless I was ready to hear how it wrecked her peace of mind. No support. No thanks. Supportive and demanding are two .different. things. 3
introverted1 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Sounds like something blew up in his work day. This isn't about you, OP, and I think it would be a mistake for you to make it about you. He'll share details when he can. I wouldn't want to try to capture a frustrating meeting (or whatever it was) in text, so I can see sending a message like that to let my SO know that I was having a crappy day, and then I'd fill in him when I could. Perspective. 1
introverted1 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Not to totally invalidate your worry...but....that is not a semi-bombshell. Not by a long shot. Amen. And unless there is some convoluted back-story here, this non-bombshell isn't even about the OP. I get that we are all concerned when bad things happen to our SOs, but whatever is happening is happening to the bf, NOT to the OP. I would have read the text as he's been screwed over by someone/something at work -- situations that would require my support and empathy, but not situations that would create a bombshell for me, per se. 1
Gaeta Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 You've been dating for 9 MONTHS. And you worry about double texting him? As for his type of text to you I'd be pretty pissed if a boyfriend of mine did this!! If you have time to text me you are F-up then you have time to tell me to not worry and you'll explain later. What he did is childish and deprived of consideration for you. Who in their right mind here would do this? Really? Anyone of you text your boyfriend/girlfriend and let them worry like this?? SO childish!! and irresponsible. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Usually, if someone is blowing something like this out of proportion, it's because they are afraid that whatever the person is dealing with is going to cause them to bail on the relationship. We've seen this lots of times on these boards, the guy gets stressed out over something that had nothing to do with the OP, and then bails. And, that's because a) the OP overreacted and starting trying to drag them back in or b) the guy was using it as an excuse, in which case, let him go. I think that all the social media attention that is given to issues/situations that people experience and seeing possible outcomes, etc. that other people have experienced, causes OPs to think too much and not look at what's actually on their plates with a clear and open mind. One blip and they start losing grip on the bigger picture in terms of the relationship quality. "Oh, I read a thread about a girl who was dating a guy and he didn't get back to her right away and he dumped her". Usually, there's a lot more to the story. If they sit back and observe for a little while, the issue they are actually dealing with becomes clear. My point is, that before there were sites like this and FB, etc. People were just dealing with the situation as they see it at the time. They aren't thinking or knowing about what others have experienced which is really about a small sampling of the "dating world" experience. I'm not saying there isn't anything to be learned by coming here, because people do get useful knowledge and can be enlightened to hear about other people's experiences, but don't let it cloud your ability to be objective and focused on the person you are are actually dating.
elaine567 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 You've been dating for 9 MONTHS. And you worry about double texting him? I wondered about that too. Why couldn't the OP just ask him to clarify? Scared of his reaction maybe???? Why did he leave it up in the air? Sounds pretty dramatic of the bf too, like perhaps it was deliberate??? bf: Oh bl**dy h*ll !!!!! op: Oh bl**dy h*ll what? No response. OMG what has happened! 10 hours later bf: Oh bl**dy h*ll, I broke a finger nail.
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