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Married man dumped me no reason given?


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Posted

On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?

Posted
On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?

 

Yes, there is something about you...

You have a vagina.

If you can't accept that, you shouldn't accept the "offer".

  • Like 11
Posted
On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?

 

Can I handle this? -- I doubt it. It takes a very secure, independent and confident woman to be able to. The reason I doubt it is: I ask him why me? A confident, secure woman would ask "Why not me?"

 

In addition, that question could be asked in a leading way . . . to see if there is a response that indicates that the guy might like her for more than a booty call and will give it to him in hopes he will turn into a boyfriend. Don't count on that. If you're going to do it, accept it for what it is and keep moving. Keep your emotions and expectations in check.

  • Like 6
Posted
Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?

 

When you're already starting with "what does he meaaannn", it's telling that maybe this isn't a good idea. You have feelings for this guy or hoping he'll like you at some point?

 

Why you? You're offering easy, available and no strings attached sex.

  • Like 10
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Posted
Yes, there is something about you...

You have a vagina.

If you can't accept that, you shouldn't accept the "offer".

 

:lmao: Is that really what there is something about you means? This is a guy I've been friends with a while. He backed off as did I a few months and now I got a reconnect with him today and went for the booty call! He's very exciting. It's not the same guy that brought me to post here, that ones out of the picture. How will I know I can't handle this? Are there rules here?

Posted

When you say booty call, have you met this guy at all?

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Posted
When you're already starting with "what does he meaaannn", it's telling that maybe this isn't a good idea. You have feelings for this guy or hoping he'll like you at some point?

 

Why you? You're offering easy, available and no strings attached sex.

 

Yeah. Was thinking that too as I do have some feelings. But today's booty call was more like I did not think about him as much as past booty calls. That tells me that I've already concluded that he's not a keeper and this has no where to go? Make sense?

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Posted
When you say booty call, have you met this guy at all?

 

Yes. We've known each other for years. Early last summer he gave me his phone number then said text me. I did we meet up on occasion with only having actual sex once. He's married and unhappy. I sensed he was afraid to continue but we did keep it going and just messed around. Now we reconnect with plans for next week.

Posted

Everything about this situation is trouble. What are you hoping comes out of this? It's exciting now but it won't end that way.

  • Like 2
Posted
Yeah. Was thinking that too as I do have some feelings. But today's booty call was more like I did not think about him as much as past booty calls. That tells me that I've already concluded that he's not a keeper and this has no where to go? Make sense?

 

Tread carefully -- knowing you have feelings. This is just your first booty call with him. You may just be on a high from the excitement. Sometimes we can be good at justifying engaging in situations that may not be good for us. Just because he's not a keeper and you believe it has no where to go, it doesn't guarantee your ability to keep your emotions at bay.

 

I just read that he's married. This will end badly.

  • Like 5
Posted
Yes. We've known each other for years. Early last summer he gave me his phone number then said text me. I did we meet up on occasion with only having actual sex once. He's married and unhappy. I sensed he was afraid to continue but we did keep it going and just messed around. Now we reconnect with plans for next week.

 

This has disaster written all over it . . .

  • Like 7
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Posted
Everything about this situation is trouble. What are you hoping comes out of this? It's exciting now but it won't end that way.

 

I'm not sure I have any expectations except for the company at this point and good sex. Is it pathetic to say I have a back up booty call? Another guy interested at the same time, but booty call number one is still mysterious to me. That's keep me guessing.

Posted

You expect to have sex, get dressed & get out. I thought the term "booty call" was/is pretty self explanatory. You hit it & leave.

  • Like 7
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Posted
Tread carefully -- knowing you have feelings. This is just your first booty call with him. You may just be on a high from the excitement. Sometimes we can be good at justifying engaging in situations that may not be good for us. Just because he's not a keeper and you believe it has no where to go, it doesn't guarantee your ability to keep your emotions at bay.

 

I just read that he's married. This will end badly.

 

Checked out of the marriage on about every level.

Posted

It's not pathetic that you have a back up booty call. But why do you need strangers to tell you that what you're doing is okay? None of us can be there to help you not get your feelings hurt when you wind up in too deep with one of these guys.

 

Booty call, FWB, whatever you want to call it, is just tricky. You have to go into this with zero expectations from the other person- be honest with yourself about that- "what do i really want from this guy?". It's possible to just be open minded and have fun, but the majority of people wind up not having so much fun. Typically the woman involved in the booty call, because of our biology, we get attached quickly to anyone we have sex with. Men, not so much.

 

Be careful little cappy!

  • Like 3
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Posted
You expect to have sex, get dressed & get out. I thought the term "booty call" was/is pretty self explanatory. You hit it & leave.

 

No cuddling, talking or nothing? Just sex? Ok. Well we've spent plenty of time talking after fooling around before so does that make this not booty call? I might not know what I'm talking about?

Posted
No cuddling, talking or nothing? Just sex? Ok. Well we've spent plenty of time talking after fooling around before so does that make this not booty call? I might not know what I'm talking about?

 

Are you friends? Do you talk about personal stuff.... get together outside the bedroom ocassionally?

 

If so, then you're FWB (friends with benefits).

 

If not, but you still cuddle after sex, then you're FB (***k buddies).

 

I am still learning this lingo too...so don't feel back if you don't.

Posted

Oh god, married?!?

 

No. If you had any sense at all, you would lose his number immediately. Booty calls from married people never, ever, EVER end well.

 

I'm sort of half-friends with a married guy (more like acquaintances), and I won't lie, the sexual chemistry between us is off the charts. Am I sleeping with him? Hell to the no. I'm keeping about as wide a berth as possible. It's none of my business what state his marriage is in. I'm not interested unless he's single.

  • Like 8
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Posted
It's not pathetic that you have a back up booty call. But why do you need strangers to tell you that what you're doing is okay? None of us can be there to help you not get your feelings hurt when you wind up in too deep with one of these guys.

 

Booty call, FWB, whatever you want to call it, is just tricky. You have to go into this with zero expectations from the other person- be honest with yourself about that- "what do i really want from this guy?". It's possible to just be open minded and have fun, but the majority of people wind up not having so much fun. Typically the woman involved in the booty call, because of our biology, we get attached quickly to anyone we have sex with. Men, not so much.

 

Be careful little cappy!

 

I hear you. Totally have to keep my head from going to the wrong place. Like today we did not have much time and it was short. He said when you get in the car call me I want to talk more. We talked more. Then I just dropped it like I was able to detach ok.

Posted
Checked out of the marriage on about every level.

 

He's still married. And just because he tells you he's unhappy and checked out, it doesn't necessarily mean it's true. I would caution you to think about this carefully, seeing that you have feelings as well as engaging in a situation that could cause hurt, not only to yourself.

  • Like 2
Posted

I did this once ... she was upfront and said " lets be friends with benefits " ...

 

2 years of booty call , no strings attached . We never argued or fought. We both knew where we stood .

 

It stopped when she left the country . She got married and has a kid . im happy for her

 

I have respect for her because she was upfront about it . She didnt want feelings involved and much more importantly she didnt want to **** with mine . It was just SEX .

 

I didnt like her enough to have a future with her . Neither did she for that matter . we enjoyed each others company and we got together for the sake of sexual pleasure .

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm not sure I have any expectations except for the company at this point and good sex. Is it pathetic to say I have a back up booty call? Another guy interested at the same time, but booty call number one is still mysterious to me. That's keep me guessing.

 

You are being somewhat myopic in this particular case. A booty call from a single guy for someone who is OK with booty calls, is not such a big deal. But this guy is married! You could find plenty of other booty callers who are single I'm sure.

 

I can only hope we don't at some point see a thread started by you about how you now have feelings for the guy, and y thought was going to leave his wife and be with you forever only to have him say, he's feeling guilty and can't do this anymore or that his wife found out about it because she went through his phone and is now on your case for being the other woman or, or, or . . .

  • Like 6
Posted
No cuddling, talking or nothing? Just sex? Ok. Well we've spent plenty of time talking after fooling around before so does that make this not booty call? I might not know what I'm talking about?

 

That's more FWB, the booty call usually doesn't have any of that.

  • Like 1
Posted
Are you friends? Do you talk about personal stuff.... get together outside the bedroom ocassionally?

 

If so, then you're FWB (friends with benefits).

 

If not, but you still cuddle after sex, then you're FB (***k buddies).

 

I am still learning this lingo too...so don't feel back if you don't.

 

Seriously? There's a need to distinguish between the two??

 

In my opinion, the difference between a FB and a FWB is that one of them has manners, and maybe feels guilty about the whole situation. It changes nothing in terms of the relationship.

  • Like 2
Posted
Checked out of the marriage on about every level.

 

Except legally. And, by the way, that's what all married men say when they want some booty but won't leave their wives. I'm unhappy, yet that night he goes home and has sex with his wife too . . .

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