cell2k15 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Hey all, So my girlfriend of 12 months occasionally takes part in acting roles. In the current case, she is the lead role and has to kiss/get intimate with 2 characters during the performance (the first time she's had to). Since finding out she has to kiss 2 other characters, I have become rather uncomfortable about it all. It's hard to explain the feelings that are going through my head, but it's hard to know she is kissing other guys, even if it's just acting. Now, I understand it's just acting and that it's 'just a job', but she's starting to spend an increasing amount of time 'outside of the performance' with one of the characters she kisses during the show. On top of all that, her Facebook and such is literally plastered with pictures from the show of her and this guy. I've brought up the subject about her role and spending time with this particular person, but the conversation didn't go very smoothly - she thought I was being stupid, said it was one of her favourite activities (acting) and it's something I need to get used to and stop making comments about. Basically it all got a little heated and it hasn't really settled my thoughts. Any advise? Am I being stupid?
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Yes, unless she is a porn actress, you are being stupid and immature. I mean, if she's a porn actress, she has bigger problems. If she's a regular actress in movie or tv roles and is not actually having sex, well, it's just acting. There's a room full of people and it's very awkward to pretend to be into someone and all that. It's work. It's her work. I'm sure it's her dream. And I'm sure she's not going to keep anyone around who tries to kill her buzz about it.
carhill Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Not everyone is cut out to be an actor's spouse or partner. However, professionals separate work and social stuff and, sure, they'll be friendly with fellow actors whom they get on with but won't be 'staying in character' from a past romantic milieu they acted in. If you're young and the lady isn't a professional, meaning she attended university majoring in theater/acting or attended an acting school and has creds, I'd be more likely to move on if she's directing her attention at someone else she's been acting with. Without clear boundaries, there will be more of it in the future.
AMJ Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 It would bother me too. You're not being stupid. I've known a few actors who ended up in relationships from spending so much time together. That said, it's fair for her to expect you to be okay with it also. 1
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I've known quite a few guys who have met someone at work and flirted with or cheated on their GF. Does that mean I want them to never work again? I had a dream that I fulfilled, and I'm just warning the OP that I wouldn't have let anyone stand in my way, because it was more important to me, and rightly so, than staying with some man who thought nothing of trying to ruin that for me.
kgcolonel Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 OP. I can't help with your concerns on the acting gig but if you feel she is drifting to her acting partner then you should address this from that point only. Do you think she is drifting to him? If so, what are you basing your concerns on? That could be a perfectly legitimate concern with any R. I suggest you support her acting but learn more about the R with the acting partner. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Yeah I agree with kgcolonel. I think it's hard to tell your partner that they can't participate in their hobby (which is more what it sounds like) or their job (if she is a steady working actress one would assume you knew this going into the relationship). I think she is just excited about acting and the attention which is why it's all over facebook. I think you need to make peace with that and kissing the co-stars as part of the performance. (Hard I know but fair--after all it's a part of who she is). As far as hanging out with one of the co-stars outside of rehearsals and mandatory things, well it sounds like a significant change in behavior and as her bf of 12 months, i think you are within your rights to question (in your head) what's going on and have a talk with her. And tell her how it makes you feel. I think it's justified that it doesn't sit entirely well with you. Sounds like you don't want to stifle her but also want respect and loyalty--fair enough. So yeah, limit it to this "change" and talk to her about that part. If you make it about the whole acting thing in general, she will have legit reasons to fight back about that part because it will be like you are trying to chip away at who she is and what she likes to do. As a bf though, you have a right to expect fidelity and talk when you feel threatened about the changes you notice, ie hanging out with that guy outside of rehearsals etc. good luck
health Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Hey all, So my girlfriend of 12 months occasionally takes part in acting roles. In the current case, she is the lead role and has to kiss/get intimate with 2 characters during the performance (the first time she's had to). Since finding out she has to kiss 2 other characters, I have become rather uncomfortable about it all. It's hard to explain the feelings that are going through my head, but it's hard to know she is kissing other guys, even if it's just acting. Now, I understand it's just acting and that it's 'just a job', but she's starting to spend an increasing amount of time 'outside of the performance' with one of the characters she kisses during the show. On top of all that, her Facebook and such is literally plastered with pictures from the show of her and this guy. I've brought up the subject about her role and spending time with this particular person, but the conversation didn't go very smoothly - she thought I was being stupid, said it was one of her favourite activities (acting) and it's something I need to get used to and stop making comments about. Basically it all got a little heated and it hasn't really settled my thoughts. Any advise? Am I being stupid? Uh, no you're not being stupid. Your girl is kissing another guy period. Also off work, she's being very inconsiderate about it. Either work out a win/win or don't deal with her.
Cherryz Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 How old are you guys?Have you guys even took time to get to know each other a while so you can know what she is doing and she knows what you do and think about her acting, and her telling you that she do kiss at acting knowing that it may be a issue if you have a bf., before becoming gf/bf? If you get into relationship and go figure out who the other person is then you being very late in getting to know the basic things of the person. If you get to know her first you could have know this and say no to her as gf. But now you get with her and try to stop her from kissing at acting class.... In a 1 year relationship....... i dont think she will move a finger to stop her kissing and acting. Maybe you should break up. Specially if this is not what you want to see a girlfreind doing. and She dont seem like she want to be bother even if this was much bigger of a deal.
Poutrew Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 You're not being weird about this. What if the role calls for more than just kissing? What if she has to do actual sex? Sure, she'll try to say to not worry about it, that she is a professional playing a role which requires her to be believable, but ask her this: at the end of the day which of you is pulling the pubic hairs out from between their teeth - her or her character? What about BJs? What about lesbian scenes? Reading this thread reminded me of a thing my grandpa used to tell me. He had no respect for actors. During the great depression he was a waiter in one of Chicago's fancier hotels. Great personalities like Capone would ask for my gramps by name to serve them (they gave huge tips to people they liked). But for actors, he would spit and tell me there was a sign on the wall that read "No dogs or actors allowed on premises." Acting was not a respectable profession in those days. IMO it still isn't... I'd never date an actor.
Recommended Posts