Jealous BF has now withdrawn

[kendahke]

I just thought that he should trust me and that not to worry if some guy likes me. I want him. He has no idea how amazing he is and that he doesn't even need to worry.

The problem is, as is the case with your ex boyfriend, they don't seem to believe that your boyfriend deserves their respect and it wasn't until AFTER your boyfriend made a stink and your friends all gave you the "stank side eye" that you, after the fact, admitted the damage you'd been doing up to that point--thing is, the damage was done because you chose to dismiss it based on what you would or wouldn't do. This wasn't about you: it was about his feelings over what you didn't fix in the moment. I mean, you're grown--not a teenager. This is adult relationships 101 stuff.

 

I just don't want to burn bridges with someone who was a friend before and who can be a good friend. That is why I've put a few months between the visits and told my ex that he needs to respect my relationship. Everything you say here is correct guys, but how can I repair the damage I have done? No one is perfect. What more can I give since you guys say I am giving too little too late.

A friend who does something as brazen as kiss you when he knew dang well you were in a relationship is a friend whose bridge needed to be burned because he showed you that he doesn't respect either you or your boyfriend. Is his friendship worth more than the relationship you have with your boyfriend? Because if it is, then just cut the relationship loose and be friend with your ex til times get better.

 

As to those who ask me if I'd be jealous about his ex gf doing things. The answer is I don't think I would be. I'm the kind of woman who doesn't mind if my man goes to a strip club because I know he's coming home to me and I'm his woman. If he wants to stare at some girls tits to see something different and have some variety, well I love him and if he enjoys it then I am happy. As long as he follows our boundaries that we set, it's okay by me. Yeah, I know I'm different than most people, it's just how I am.

 

The most thing I am jealous of is that he broke up with his gf where he was living while unemployed (between jobs, had things lined up) and he continues to pay back the money to her for the time there and for a plane ticket he owed her for from a year before they broke up. My ex husband owed me 5000 dollars and I never saw a dollar of it, so that bothers me some. He sponged of me for the last two years of our marriage and I didn't get a cent and I don't understand why she deserves any thing more.

WTF???????!?!?! Huh??!!?! He's meeting an obligation, which is what he's supposed to do. He's not suppose to let a debt go unpaid, so this really isn't a good analogy. He owes her that money; he's not just handing her money for s&g's.

 

Your money issues with your ex husband have nothing to do with him paying back his debt. Take that ex to small claims court to get your money back; but to say that your boyfriend's ex doesn't deserve to have the money he borrowed from her paid back is astounding. These are two completely different situations and cannot be conflated.

 

But if he was giving her money behind your back and she decided to disrespect your relationship over it, would him stopping doing that after the fact be of consolation? It's the other side of the coin from what you've done. He's got that kind of relationship with his ex--the same as how you're "different than most people, it's just how you are". In this respect, he's paying back what he owed, not taking her with him as he goes shopping for jewelry for himself that he can't afford. Do you see how his feelings matter just the same as yours would if this was sprung on you?

Edited March 4, 2016 by kendahke