Zahara Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Seems narcissistic. Flaunting your ex-boyfriends to get an ego boost. I think you're insecure and feel that by showing him those pictures you're trying to establish to him that you're a superior catch. The fact that you see nothing wrong in it and you're confused by his reaction is perplexing. 4
TheArtist Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I am struggling to think of anything more likely to kill off a perfectly good relationship. Saying his father's name during sex. In fact doing that might take his attention off the exes. 9
Toodaloo Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Saying his father's name during sex. In fact doing that might take his attention off the exes. So whats your Dad's name? 4
scorpiogirl Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I cannot see any point to doing something like that but it isn't surprising to be honest. The women of today love this sort of 'd*ck measuring' so a guy has to be prepared for something like this. Why do you always jump on this woman-bashing bandwagon? Your bitterness is palpable in everything you write. How many women in this thread have said what this lady did wasn't right? Damn, start learning to be a little objective, rather than "women suck man". 8
blackcat777 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Sharing anything about your exes with a current lover is like sharing old garbage. All that matters is now... and if you're really into the person, bringing up old lovers is disrespectful. I used to love being friends with exes... until I realized how selfish that really was... for me, for my new partner, and, even for the ex... 1
Gaeta Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 And I didn't show him a huge amount of exes, just 5. I can't believe my eyes read this lol A-Ballerina: It's not because you want to have a peak at his ex that he feels the same. Men don't have that type of curiosity. It's a big turn off for them. They don't think like us and don't have that same sick-curiosity sometimes women have. Lesson learn. 5
Miss Peach Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 OP - I tend not to speak of exes unless there is something in there my current guy needs to know or he asks. In my case I'm a single mom so I tend to get questions about the dad and his role so I can't avoid the topic of exes completely. Also most people want to know high level things like how long ago, how long it lasted, why it broke up, etc. These topics are fine IMO when they come up. And if you guy wants to ask more questions about a situation that is his right to. The issue is men (and some women) logically know there were probably others with you before them. But most of them don't like thinking about that side of you. 3
TheArtist Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 OP - I tend not to speak of exes unless there is something in there my current guy needs to know or he asks. In my case I'm a single mom so I tend to get questions about the dad and his role so I can't avoid the topic of exes completely. Yes, I've dated single mums and that's fine, but only if we ask. I don't expect you get out a slide show from 'that great holiday when we tried that thing with the oil and he put his back out'. We only need the bits we ask for, not girths or anything like that! Ew. I definitely try to put past lovers out of my mind.
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 He's awfully insecure to get that perturbed about it. Don't let him make it your problem unless you can't stop bringing them up or are truly carrying a torch for any of them. I have to say though, you did it because you wanted to see his, so you may be a little insecure yourself. Being jealous of a keepsake from the past is irrational though and insecure and a red flag for jealousy.
kendahke Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Ballerina--what were you expecting to accomplish through this feat? What were you looking to get out of having him look at your ex's and you looking at his? Why are you trying to live in the past? Why does it even matter who lies in your wake? I think that is the more troubling thing here--did you think history was going to rewrite itself by doing this? Or were you trying to see how you measure up because you don't think you do by being with this guy? 2
elaine567 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Maybe insecure, but I doubt any "nerdy" woman here, would be pleased if her bf produced five pics of blue eyed beautiful girls and said "Here are my exes." 2
elaine567 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Ballerina--what were you expecting to accomplish through this feat? What were you looking to get out of having him look at your ex's and you looking at his? Why are you trying to live in the past? Why does it even matter who lies in your wake? I think that is the more troubling thing here--did you think history was going to rewrite itself by doing this? Or were you trying to see how you measure up because you don't think you do by being with this guy? If the OP is attracting very handsome men then I guess she is pretty good looking herself, she, I guess wanted to make sure she was the pick of the crop among her bfs exes. If she hadn't been, then she would have been upset too.
smackie9 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 You are letting your insecurities get the best of you. I say this because anyone who is that intent on see their BF's exes, is looking for something, like to see how you stack up to them. You are just going to cause unnecessary grief in your relationship. Just let it go, and let the past stay right where it is....in the past. 1
Phoenician Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 So you showed him only five ! and made sure he knows that this is just a specimen ! I am speechless. If for any reason I have to talk about my exes , it will be to let them know that they are fa away .
Haydn Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I show pictures of my lost deceased pets. Much safer. 10
MidwestUSA Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I show pictures of my lost deceased pets. Much safer. I take it a step further and get their ashes out. If the guy runs, he's not for me. 10
Leigh 87 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Oh LOL.... Just LOL..... You're not suppozed to show your new current partners your exes.. Especially if they are hot.... I would have been furious if my boyfriend sat me down and showed me that he had dated a bunch of hotter women than me! How rude and insensitive! Look, I understand why you did it. I am also curious about my boyfriends past. But it's only really appropriate to outline WHY it didn't work out and what you have learnt about yourself and how you wish to go about future relationship bas3d on the mistakes of your past. DO NOT gloat or bring up the positives; just explain how it didn't work and what you jave learnt from it without painting a positive or overly negative picture of your exes. My boyfriend hates whenever I talk about exes so I try mybl best not to lol. He told me on our first date that he preferred to leave our pasts in the past. And most men are like m ly bf in regards to exes.
Leigh 87 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 If the OP is attracting very handsome men then I guess she is pretty good looking herself, she, I guess wanted to make sure she was the pick of the crop among her bfs exes. If she hadn't been, then she would have been upset too. Not really. My friend is car stopping beautiful and has an average looking boyfriend. I am only a 7/10 with full make up and attraction attractive men. Having hot men into you doesn't make you good looking lol. All 20s women have their pic of loads of options.
Emilia Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Hands up who thinks the OP is brave enough to come back 4
Leigh 87 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 If the OP is attracting very handsome men then I guess she is pretty good looking herself, she, I guess wanted to make sure she was the pick of the crop among her bfs exes. If she hadn't been, then she would have been upset too. And how conceited; wanting to know you're the hottest among ALL your partners exes:lmao: I need to know thatI have magnetic chemistry and a special connection that is DIFFERENT and special compared to anyone else in his past. I need to know the sex it the best he's had due to our connection. .......... But come on. We aren't models here. ....it goes without saying that most cute men have dated hotter than us..... most cute men have dated at least one model look alike provide they are affable and sexy men in general. I know I am not the hottest girl facially that my bf has had. Far from it. I have a big nose and am 30 and look mid to late 20s. Of course our exes younger girlfriend from their 20s will be prettier than us when we are 30 plus......... To need to be the prettiest girl among your partners exes is the heught of insecurity. Come on, unless we were signed and scouted models, there is no way most of ys are what society deems as " the prettiest " out of ALL our current partners exes.......... people need to get over themselves and come back down to earth if they actually want to size ALL their partners exes up to see if they r the prettiest My bfs 1 ex I saw inadvertently on his Facebook was pretty and slim with long sinewy arms and great boobs. It only served to make me more attracted to my bf, as it reinforced that he can get hot women and yet fell for ME.
Leigh 87 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Anyone that sits down with a partner and wants to exchange pictures of all their exesis going about their relationship the wrong way. Exes aren't some phase of ones life where you need to flip through photo albums and get a running commentary about their pasts If you're really into someone, who WANTS to see a bunch of potentially prettier women: more handsome men from their pasts? Not exactly an enjoyable activity! I hope the OP can see why he's upset! And also baffled over the fact she actually DID it:eek: My bf wouldn't have broken up with me over it but he would have been like WTF....uhh thanks Leigh 87...... you tripper...... he would have definitely told me to please stop and leave the past in the past. .... 1
Wewon Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 If I were going to try to teach my nieces or nephews a lesson about discretion I would show them the OP. Its sort of a PG-rated version of a numbers thread. Nothing good comes from those types of discussions. That being said, I think that the OP is getting a rough way to go. I doubt that there was any malice in it, more of a thought that this wouldn't matter or that it would give him some insight. Instead these kinds of revelations tend to underscore any insecurities that we have. If looks isn't your wild hair, then just imagine if he pointed out how all of his exes were accomplished business owners or had PhDs or some other trait that was dramatically different from yourself (and yet impressive). People don't like feeling as though they're being settled for. I think that the worse thing that the OP could do is an unsolicited apology. Just let it go and don't bring the subject up again. He will deal with it, express a concern or more than likely, put it into perspective and move on. 2
TheArtist Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 That being said, I think that the OP is getting a rough way to go. I doubt that there was any malice in it, more of a thought that this wouldn't matter or that it would give him some insight. Instead these kinds of revelations tend to underscore any insecurities that we have Yes, I think it's more of a misunderstanding on the OP's part on how a man would react to seeing pictures of exes. Very few of us want to know about a girlfriend's exes, let alone see them.
yxalitis Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 No reply from OP.... After reading this, I immediately took out my phone, and deleted all the photos of my exes... They are on my PC, backed up, but I don't need to carry them with me anymore. So, thanks for that...! 1
spriggan2 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 My last gf who I was crazy about showed me a picture of her ex and let out this drawn out sigh when she did so. I asked her if that was a sigh of longing. She told me it was a sigh of regret... Goodness, I still remember the sting from that one. That girl was so special to me and I had let her in so deep. She showed me one picture of her ex and sighed at him and it made me feel so disposable. Like I was just some layover fling in the aftermath collapse of her true love. Showing some dude five different hot guys you banged...if he's opened his heart to you, that could really hurt. Also it depends on where he is in his dating life. 2
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