Lois_Griffin Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 we are both in our early 30's. old enough to know better than to lie about sometihng so serious. I think a lot of guys will tell you whatever they think you want to HEAR if there's a chance for them to get laid in the process. Unfortunately, some of them NEVER evolve. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 lol. I actually took a pregnancy test last night cause I've had weird symptoms and a late period. Wouldn't the timing be awful? I'm negative FYI. Let me take a wild guess here. The assclown doesn't want kids yet he's too damned selfish to share in the responsibility of birth control and didn't wear a condom. Am I close? 1
Versacehottie Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 The only reason I wouldn't end it by text is for you to "be the better person". In other words, he's was a schmuck for texting that. The best revenge for disrespect is to rise above it and counter their behavior. But, if you had responded at the time, I would have called him: "I didn't appreciate the way you handled that situation but thank you for letting me know. I'll be moving on now." Don't entertain a response of any kind. And, then block his number and go No Contact. I'm thinking he basically broke up with you anyway. It doesn't sound as though he's tried to contact you again since then, correct? If it's been a few days without contact anyway, I'd just block him now and keep moving. I agree with redhead--well except for the "block him" and go "no contact". Those are extreme and unnecessary to block him especially. You don't have any plans to continue dating or have a future with him but it's not necessary to go to HATE. I think it's generally assumed when you break up that you aren't really going to respond to his contact--depends on what he says in a message or whatever but you are strong enough to make your own decision when and if that happens. But yeah the rest I agree with.
Author abby_tx Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 He actually did not want to break up with me and still very much liked me. He put off this conversation for weeks because he worried it would be a dealbreaker. Ugh. Yes. Anyway the ball was in my court. I met up with him and ended it. It's very sad. We were a great match. We had even talked marriage. But ****. If I married him and that was it, I'd be sad. I do want kids. I wish he did too so it would have worked. You know... At this age and having two really great relationships end because they don't want kids, I wonder if I should see if my body is even able? What if I'm ruining relationships for a future that's not possible?
Miss Peach Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I agree with redhead--well except for the "block him" and go "no contact". Those are extreme and unnecessary to block him especially. You don't have any plans to continue dating or have a future with him but it's not necessary to go to HATE. I don't think you have to hate. I went NC on an ex for a few months. I never hated him. I just needed some time away from him to get over the relationship. The idea behind blocking is to protect yourself from hurt while healing. For a lot of people if they get a text, call, etc. it stirs things up and sets them back in the healing process. You know... At this age and having two really great relationships end because they don't want kids, I wonder if I should see if my body is even able? What if I'm ruining relationships for a future that's not possible? I'm in a similar age bracket but *I* don't want biological kids so anyone who is with me has to be good with the idea they won't have kids with me. I am OK if someone already has their own. I've had the same thing happen. I lost several relationships because I didn't want to get pregnant and have kids. Along the way I met my BF who doesn't want and can't have kids. There are men in our age range on both sides of the fence on this. I know this is cliche but I'm betting you just haven't met the right guy yet. 2
xpaperxcutx Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 He actually did not want to break up with me and still very much liked me. He put off this conversation for weeks because he worried it would be a dealbreaker. Ugh. Yes. Anyway the ball was in my court. I met up with him and ended it. It's very sad. We were a great match. We had even talked marriage. But ****. If I married him and that was it, I'd be sad. I do want kids. I wish he did too so it would have worked. You know... At this age and having two really great relationships end because they don't want kids, I wonder if I should see if my body is even able? What if I'm ruining relationships for a future that's not possible? You know some women worry they will never be able to have kids and when the time comes, there's always the option of adoption. I don't think its you. There are plenty of men out there who wish to be fathers. You just have to look for them. And never settle. 1
lana-banana Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I'm with those who have said he didn't lie to you. I think he met someone else and, rather than have the balls to break up with you directly, he tried to force your hand. He just doesn't sound like he's been fully honest in all this.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 He actually did not want to break up with me and still very much liked me. He put off this conversation for weeks because he worried it would be a dealbreaker. Ugh. Yes. Anyway the ball was in my court. I met up with him and ended it. It's very sad. We were a great match. We had even talked marriage. But ****. If I married him and that was it, I'd be sad. I do want kids. I wish he did too so it would have worked. You know... At this age and having two really great relationships end because they don't want kids, I wonder if I should see if my body is even able? What if I'm ruining relationships for a future that's not possible? I thought my baby days were over awhile ago. Yes here I sit about to turn 34 with an "oops" due in May....I have PCOS, so I REALLY thought baby-time was over. I mean, seven years of no birth control? My husband slipped a disc last year. Apparently a lot of men get ED after that. Not him. LOL, if anything it makes it last a minute longer! Probably the reason I actually got pregnant. My mother had my sister at 37. Her cousin had one at 44. There's in vitro, gestational surrogates and T surrogates (I forget what the T stands for, I just remember it means that the egg comes from a donor). Adoption etc.... We had to invent birth control to stop roving hoardes of children. I'm sure you're going to be fine.
preraph Posted March 6, 2016 Posted March 6, 2016 I have NOT been obsessing about babies. He's the one who discussed it and I kept my responses short to not seem baby crazy. Making up names for unconceived kids with a near-stranger is not keeping your answers short. It's getting carried away prematurely, no matter who started it.
Author abby_tx Posted March 9, 2016 Author Posted March 9, 2016 UPDATE: I broke up with him in person. The next day he changed his story to get me back(?) saying he did maybe want kids. The next day he said maybe not. Then maybe so. Then maybe not. His final answer was if he did, it wouldn't be til he was nearing 40 and I'd be too old by then. To say I'm pissed is putting it mildly. Not only are we over, but he made me feel old and desperate.
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