Kylemopar Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Okay so I'm taking classes to get my real estate license and I just seen the most beautiful girl today taking the same class. The class is once a week a Wednesdays. I've seen her last week and the week before but didn't tell her anything cause really no chance to talk to her since we're either in class or we're waiting for the class to start surrounded by everyone else in the class. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. But today she sat down before me and I sat down next to her and said hi to her, she said hi back. The teacher asked us to pull out a packet that she gave us last week, I forgot mine, so I asked her if I can read from hers for the meantime, she said yes. Even when I wasn't reading it she would still hold it up in a way where it looked like her hand was getting tired but where I can see it better. We didn't say anything at all really, just asked her if she was cold cause the room was chilly...that's pretty much it. Well then the class ended and I thanked her for left me read from her packet, reached in to to shake her hand as gratitude and said, "Thank you so much, I'm Kyle by the way." And she just said, "You're welcome." So I don't know her name, probably made her feel awkward, and only see her once a week (if I'm lucky). I'm the greatest looking guy in the word but I'm not ugly either. She's really pretty and honestly way out of my league but what can I say to her? I get super nervous and it's hard for me to imitate a conversation from the get go. Any ideas? Suggestions? Help please!
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Kylemoper, just look her squarely in the face with a big smile next time you see her and say, "Hi!" Since she didn't tell you her name in response to you telling her yours last time I wouldn't start a conversation with her the next time you see her. But, the time after do the same thing, look at her and smile and if she smiles back say something that's small talk. Like, "Can you believe the rain?" If, while you're talking with her she seems receptive you can continue with something like, "Glad i remembered my umbrella." If you say, "Can you believe the rain?" and she doesn't respond well she might be focused on her lesson so don't get discouraged but also don't continue talking to her. Just make small moves toward her and let her open up gradually to you. Always smile at her. After you do this five or six times and if you notice she begins to get more comfortable with you, you can expand the conversation, if she enters into it with you. When you're regularly talking with her for a few minutes every time you see her and you can tell when you see her she brightens a little or looks up to greet you, or any tiny little thing that shows she is recognizing your presence or responding to it, then when you walk in one day you can compliment her on her hair, dress, whatever. But, wait to do this until you have established that you're having conversations with her. Five minute or more convos. 1
d0nnivain Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 She's not a stranger. She's a classmate. Next class say "I didn't catch your name last time." Unless she's a complete Beyatch she ought to give it to you. Anybody in sales needs to know how to build a network. Might as well start now. After class ask if she wants to grab a coffee to go over the material.
Author Kylemopar Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 Hmm well the class works in a weird way. cant really talk to her after class, we take a test one week and the next we don't. I just so happen I take my tests the day she doesn't take hers, and she is weeks ahead of me in class, we're not going to a college or anything. The classes are held at the offices of a century 21. We get new students every now and then...so as far as I know any of the upcoming weeks could be her last.
Buddhist Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 She's really pretty and honestly way out of my league but what can I say to her? I get super nervous and it's hard for me to imitate a conversation from the get go. Any ideas? Suggestions? Help please! - There are no leagues, there are just people interacting with each other. - It's not for you to decide how she feels about you. - Maybe she is taken aback that a guy she feels interested in was so accomodating and nice to her and that's why she forgot to give you her name. - Women who are not interested do not make special effort to do things for you. The next time you see her, forget about how pretty she is and just chat to her again like you did this time. She will relax and hopefully open up for you and then things can progress naturally. 3
Author Kylemopar Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 I just thought she was being nice, this is pretty much the only time we noticed each other.
todreaminblue Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 talk to her like you would talk to anyone..be friendly be open be honest...deb
Author Kylemopar Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 Well I mean of course the best thing would be to talk to her, but what do I say? It's like teaching me how to drive, can't just tell me to get in and drive, what pedal do I step on and how hard? I just want to say something to her that'll make her blush or smile,I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. What if she doesn't sit in the same seat as yesterday? Should I sit next to her again or should I assume that she loved as to not sit with me again?
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Well I mean of course the best thing would be to talk to her, but what do I say? It's like teaching me how to drive, can't just tell me to get in and drive, what pedal do I step on and how hard? I just want to say something to her that'll make her blush or smile,I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. What if she doesn't sit in the same seat as yesterday? Should I sit next to her again or should I assume that she loved as to not sit with me again? Talked to her about a common experience, such as the class. Ask her if it's hard to find time to do the homework, or if she thinks the homework is relevant. Ask what made her decide to take the class, stuff like that. I once went to an event and a friend grabbed my arm to meet a very well known movie star. We were introduced and I didn't have a minute to think about what to say so asked the star how her flight had been. She'd just flown into the city. Then asked her about her child and got to talking about her child's music interests. Everyone likes to talk about themselves, their day, etc. Especially the mundane, the weather, the mutual class you're taking, etc. As she begins to talk a little you can get clues on what to ask from what she says. 1
BlametheIrish Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 - Women who are not interested do not make special effort to do things for you. *** I disagree. I'd of held that book for anyone who forget there's just to help out. I know most of my female friends would do the same. *** The next time you see her, forget about how pretty she is and just chat to her again like you did this time. She will relax and hopefully open up for you and then things can progress naturally. ***This I agree with. 1
Author Kylemopar Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 Well I was thinking about catching her after after class and saying, "Hey I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. *she'll respond hopefully* okay cool it's nice to meet you, I just wanted to thank you for letting me use your packet last week. I know it must have been irritating and you hand must have been getting a cramp for holding it up for so long. So as a thank you would you like to go to lunch or dinner and maybe go over and help each other with the material?" Should I say that? As a girl how would you like a random guy to come up to you? What would you want him to say? Keep in mind that I to ably only have a couple minutes if anything to even talk to her.
Mrin Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Well I was thinking about catching her after after class and saying, "Hey I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. *she'll respond hopefully* okay cool it's nice to meet you, I just wanted to thank you for letting me use your packet last week. I know it must have been irritating and you hand must have been getting a cramp for holding it up for so long. So as a thank you would you like to go to lunch or dinner and maybe go over and help each other with the material?" Should I say that? As a girl how would you like a random guy to come up to you? What would you want him to say? Keep in mind that I to ably only have a couple minutes if anything to even talk to her. Ok I think this is actually really good except I would ditch the dinner invite and just say, "can I buy you a coffee?" or "care to join me for a coffee?" The goal here isn't to score a date date but rather to continue to engage her in conversation to a) learn more about her and b) see if there is a connection between the two. 2
truth_seeker Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 She's really pretty and honestly way out of my league but what can I say to her? I get super nervous and it's hard for me to imitate a conversation from the get go. Any ideas? Suggestions? Help please! Here's my advice: you have to talk to her directly. I know how some women are so good looking that they make you nervous. It happened to me recently, and I actually had a chance with this woman, but because I let my nerves get to me, I missed out on her and really bungled the whole thing. DON'T BE ME! I know it's hard, and you'll be very nervous, but you have to do something. Now, you have something to work with... she did you a favor and shared her reading material. You introduced herself and shook hands. Next time in, you go over to her and say, "Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name last time." You can also thank her again, show her your packet, make a small joke that this time you didn't forget it, whatever. OP, just do something. I made the mistake of not doing the right thing and lost out. Now I'm here kicking myself.
truth_seeker Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Well I was thinking about catching her after after class and saying, "Hey I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. *she'll respond hopefully* okay cool it's nice to meet you, I just wanted to thank you for letting me use your packet last week. I know it must have been irritating and you hand must have been getting a cramp for holding it up for so long. So as a thank you would you like to go to lunch or dinner and maybe go over and help each other with the material?" Should I say that? As a girl how would you like a random guy to come up to you? What would you want him to say? Keep in mind that I to ably only have a couple minutes if anything to even talk to her. I saw this after I posted. You're on the right track. I would say something like: "Thanks for helping me out last time. Can I buy you a coffee?"
truth_seeker Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Ok I think this is actually really good except I would ditch the dinner invite and just say, "can I buy you a coffee?" or "care to join me for a coffee?" Dammit! Saw this after I posted my last response. Need to read the whole thread first. 1
Mrin Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Dammit! Saw this after I posted my last response. Need to read the whole thread first. Great minds.... ;-) 1
normal person Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Well I was thinking about catching her after after class and saying, "Hey I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. *she'll respond hopefully* okay cool it's nice to meet you, I just wanted to thank you for letting me use your packet last week. I know it must have been irritating and you hand must have been getting a cramp for holding it up for so long. So as a thank you would you like to go to lunch or dinner and maybe go over and help each other with the material?" Should I say that? "To thank you for holding a packet I'd like to spend $35 to buy you dinner and go over material." For one, the size of the gesture is totally incongruous to the act of holding a packet. Don't do anything "to thank her." It's deceptive and that might make her feel uncomfortable. If you're going to ask her out (more below on why I think you shouldn't just yet), do it because you like her and make sure she knows that's the reason. As a girl how would you like a random guy to come up to you? What would you want him to say? Keep in mind that I to ably only have a couple minutes if anything to even talk to her. I'm an advocate of not asking women out randomly. Assuming someone likes you and wants to go out with you is like assuming the person is an accountant (or anything else). Sure, there's a chance they might be, but the odds are slim and there's really no reason at all to think so. I think it's very safe to assume this girl is completely indifferent about you right now, the evidence: you gave her your name and she didn't give you hers, likely because she doesn't care if you have it or not. If she wanted you to have it, she'd give it to you. If she wanted to talk to you more, she had a great opportunity to do it, and she made zero effort to do so. You're just not on the radar right now. This is why I think it's a bad idea to just ask her out randomly. If she was going to say yes, you'd know already. You'd have her name and few flirty conversations under your belt. But she didn't take the bait. She's given you absolutely no indication that she wants you to ask her out. To get a women to go out with you, you can't just ask. You have to give them a reason to like you and want to go out with you. You have to have some conversations with her that aren't smalltalk. No girl is going to get turned on because you mentioned that it's really windy out. If you can manage to have a conversation on a more personal level and generate some sort of positive feeling inside of her, or demonstrate an attractive quality, you're going to have a much, much better chance of winning her over. You need to know things about her and vice versa. And sadly, there's a good chance she might not give you the opportunity to do it, so you have to accept that as a possibility too. Best of luck. 2
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 (edited) I have to be honest. When a woman tells me her man feels or says he's not good enough for her, I tell the woman to listen to him because it's usually a warning of some type that he's going to be weak in at least one area, whether it's confidence (obviously) or keeping a job or whatever. So when I hear a guy say a woman is out of his league and the ONLY reason he's pursuing her, since he doesn't even know her, is because she's SO beautiful, then I really can't sit here and tell you to go for it unless you're seeing a beauty in her that other guys don't see, as compared to being the beautiful girl on campus literally all guys are panting after. And that's for a number of reasons, many of which I've learned myself by pursuing good looking men. First, and most importantly, you won't be as confident. If you were, you wouldn't have had to come here asking what to do next. That puts you at an immediate disadvantage. Second, it may make you not keep boundaries with her and require her to treat you as well because you may put up with more from her just because you're infatuated with her looks. Third, unless you're the kind of person who can be happy "just being friends" with her eventually, she may tie up your mind and psyche for years hoping things will fall into place with her as she keeps you at arm's length. Or she may use you to lean on when she needs to or as an escort when she has broken up with someone, all the while still looking for her ideal of a man. You may never be her first choice. You may never be secure even if you end up in a relationship with her because you went into it feeling she was too good looking for you, and that causes all kinds of jealousy and insecurity that she likely won't want to deal with even if she totally fell for you. That said, I believe in taking a shot at your dreams. But you do it quick and take your shot and then if what you get back is a "maybe" or "some other time" or "I have a boyfriend," you clear out and stop thinking about her at all and move on. Those are all "no." And even if you get a "yes" for coffee, it doesn't mean she's anything other than being polite. But at least you can then ask her out on a real date, a date she knows is a real date that isn't disguised as something else, like studying together or payback for notes, so she can say yes or no. If you really want to find someone to love who loves you back, the best shot at that isn't focusing on the prettiest girl in the room. It's paying attention to any girls who like to come around and come into your space and/or talk to you and are being friendly with you. If you keep focusing on the hot one in the room, you're going to miss the interested ones. Edited March 3, 2016 by preraph 1
OnlyHonesty Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 You don't even know her yet and you've put her on a pedestal already. She's just a human being so talk to her like one. 1
Jabron1 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 - There are no leagues, there are just people interacting with each other. - It's not for you to decide how she feels about you. The next time you see her, forget about how pretty she is and just chat to her This is great advice. Beauty is just a test. If you don't dare approach a woman because of her beauty, then she has just filtered out a guy that isn't man enough for her - due to his own insecurities. My friends would tell me about my ex 'you've done well for yourself there'. Nope. And that kind of attitude is the reason why they wouldn't have pulled her. No woman is out of my league - no exceptions. Never make up a woman's mind for her. Typically, I approach with a compliment. Straight away i'm signaling my attraction and being direct. But nothing too over the top: you don't want to be saying "you're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen!" Just tell her that you noticed her and think she looks nice/cute, or mention something that took your interest, like her style or her demeanor. After this, if she's being receptive, the big danger is that you start asking gay hairdresser questions and kill the flirty vibe such as: 'what do you do for work?', or 'where do you come from?' . Instead you want to put a good energy into the exchange by bantering with her, making her laugh, and messing with her. Treat her like you would your bratty sister; don't be afraid to make fun of her (but in a nice way!). Whilst doing this you add in the odd normal friendly question as stated earlier and start being more real with her. But always be aware of the friend-zone; it's always lurking in a girl's mind. It's better to get rejected for being too much of a jerk than to be rejected for being too 'nice'.
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 OP, everyone is different but I think a lot of women are like me in that before I accept a date I like to get used to the guy a little. This happens by gradual encounters/small conversations before they ask me out. If you can't get her to warm up to you in a conversation she's probably not going to accept a date. So wait until that has taken place (conversation). Just my two cents. 2
Jabron1 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. You have to kill that attitude straight away. You want to create a man/woman vibe and sexual tension - that is inevitably uncomfortable. You have to be comfortable in making things uncomfortable. Challenge her. Anything is better than indifference. I'd rather make a girl angry than make a girl bored. A guy that dances around this gets friendzoned. Friends are comfortable and predictable. Sexual attraction is uncomfortable and exciting. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) Well I mean of course the best thing would be to talk to her, but what do I say? It's like teaching me how to drive, can't just tell me to get in and drive, what pedal do I step on and how hard? I just want to say something to her that'll make her blush or smile,I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. What if she doesn't sit in the same seat as yesterday? Should I sit next to her again or should I assume that she loved as to not sit with me again? i think mapping out a conversation to get a specific result isnt the best idea...but to open with hi and introduce yourself ....ask her about the class as another poster suggested and set up a an easy reppoire might be the best solution to your issue...dont put so much pressure on an outcome ....but more enjoy the talk you have together in the moment getting to know her..a blush you know sometimes isnt the best response to get...a smile yes... a blush ....no......i hate it when i blush ..some women dont like blushing...i dont because it makes me look stupid..the guy then knows i like him.......and i feel over heated... i suggest.just be who you are..be interested in her and show your interest in her.....engage her ina conversation and let it flow naturally.......dont worry about activating her interest.....if she likes you you will know........good luck...deb Edited March 4, 2016 by todreaminblue
basil67 Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 All this talk about talking with her and potentially asking her out.... We have no idea whether or not she's even single, let alone interested in dating. If she's as pretty as described, she probably gets hit on by every man who walks by anyway. I think being beautiful would be a drag. Guys hitting on you for no reason other than your looks? I'd get tired of the shallowness of society.
yxalitis Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 All this talk about talking with her and potentially asking her out.... We have no idea whether or not she's even single, let alone interested in dating. If she's as pretty as described, she probably gets hit on by every man who walks by anyway. I think being beautiful would be a drag. Guys hitting on you for no reason other than your looks? I'd get tired of the shallowness of society. there was a whole post on this a whiel ago... Basically came down to "there are worse things in life than being super attractive"
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