ajaxlemon Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 By "date," I mean something casual, more like a set time to get to know each other, really. The guy I have in mind I've talked to maybe two or three times so I don't know him that well. He has only 40-60% of my interest, which I think is good because the last time I fell for someone who had 90-100% of my interest I overinvested myself and things did not end well for me. Also, tips? How long should it be and what should I do if conversations lag? And is there any scenario where, if I don't want to go on a second date with him, he might think I was leading him on?
The Poster Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 You're overthinking things. Just relax. Ask him if he's free one night to get some dinner. Don't worry about the conversation lagging. If you start thinking about that stuff you're going to find yourself tense and tongue-tied. I've been there.
d0nnivain Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 All dates by definition are scheduled pre-planned events where the participants are getting to know each other Just ask. The setting will determine whether it's causal or not. Would you like to go to the blah blah blah black tie benefit with me is clearly not casual. Wanna grab a coffee or drink with me at XYZ café is casual. I worry about conversational lulls too so I always have a few "go to Qs" that you can ask anybody. I want to know things like what they wanted to be when they were little; how they came to do the job they have now; their views on some current event; favorite teams; etc. Just talk. Let the conversation flow but do ask open ended Qs & pay attention to the answers.
preraph Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Ask if he'll go to a movie with you. Hardly any talking. Or have him over with a small group of friends for a game and feed him. See if he takes the ball and runs with it or drops it.
iphone_user1 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I don't get it. Do you want to just hang out, have something casual and stay that way or then move on to something serious? or do you want something serious, but you want to sound like you are not asking him on date, but just hang out?
JustGettingBy Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 "Would you like to go to (insert place you want the date to take place here) on (insert day here)?"
Author ajaxlemon Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) I don't get it. Do you want to just hang out, have something casual and stay that way or then move on to something serious? or do you want something serious, but you want to sound like you are not asking him on date, but just hang out? I want to casually date and potentially do sexual things with him, but I don't want a serious, exclusive romantic relationship. And also, people always say to make it clear from the start, but I've found it difficult to bring up the subject in person. Edited March 4, 2016 by ajaxlemon
Methodical Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Suggesting a coffee shop meet up might be a good start. Coffee doesn't take long to drink so if the conversation lags, it's a quick out. If the conversation is stimulating, hang out and keep talking. Your suggestion for sex without exclusivity is a dream come true for a lot of guys. FWB? How well do you know this guy?
Shanex Posted March 4, 2016 Posted March 4, 2016 Your suggestion for sex without exclusivity is a dream come true for a lot of guys. FWB? How well do you know this guy? Quoted for truth. So you've talked to him a handful times. How did you know him? The best you can do is to suggest a place for drinks... And, why not go to either of yours place for privacy (I dont mean you should have sex right the first time) but like in the movies have a last drink and chill.. Ask him out... If you are upfront about being fine with a FWB situation and assuming he likes and is attracted to you, also if hes single. Like most guys he should be up for it.
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