vivi_angel89 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 So my bf (26yo) of 6 months just told me (26yo) he lost interest in me, that he is no longer attracted to me and that he sees me as a friend. He said I'm the best gf he ever had but that our relationship is no longer "fun" or "exciting". Apparently, Im too good of a gf and I guess that's boring?! Considering his history, he is the type of guy who enjoyed chasing unavailable girls. When I met him last year, he mentioned several times how he liked the thrill of chasing girls. He always seemed to go after the emotionally unavailable ones and the bad girls who would play him. Also, he is suffering froma bad depression. He doesnt like his job, his current living situation and is always unhappy. He said his depression might be the reason why he feels the way he feels about me but he is unsure. Another thing I should mention is that when we met, I didnt want a relationship and I told him. Therefore, all we did together was drinking and hooking up. However, he didnt give up and he tried to date me more seriously until he told me how much he liked me and wants us to be exclusively in a relationship. I accepted and made our relationship a priority and tried to be the best gf possible. I feel like that's when things started going downhill. Anyways so after what he just told me, I dont know what to do. Should I try to save my relationship or break up? He has many great qualities that I like about him but I'm not sure if it's worth the hustle. He agreed on trying to save our relationship but I'm not sure if there's anything we can do? If I should give it a try, how can I rekindle romance?
Lorenza Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Well, seems like the only thing you can do is to make him chase you again and be a bad gf, since being a good one doesn't float his boat. Big chance that he will do his best to get you back in case you dump him, since you won't be available anymore. Are you willing to play games and constantly need to rekindle the relationship with drama? Is he diagnosed with depression btw? Being unhappy with your life doesn't automatically mean you have a mental illness.
hippychick3 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Move on...as fast as you can. This is what emotionally unavailable/commitment phobe people do. They get off on the thrill of the chase and don't form any real attachment to that person. You cannot have a healthy relationship with this person. As much as it hurts, you need to end this now friendship with the realization that it will never be the relationship you want. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to look elsewhere but also figure out why you were attracted to this type of person. How emotionally available are you? We tend to attract people with the same level of emotional availability. The more emotionally available you are and emotionally healthy you are, the more likely you will meet that same type of person.
stillafool Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 So basically, the moment you became available to him he lost interest. This one is easy, go strict no calling, no nothing and become unavailable - forever.
LostOnes05 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 Hell, if you're that good of a girlfriend I'll date ya...no problem haha jk. Sounds like he's very foolish to me. The minute he sees you happy with someone else he'll come weaseling around trying to win you back (which apparently is his MO). And that will both piss off the new guy and ruin the ability for that relationship to grow. My advice is to make a clean break. As hippychick said, you can't have a healthy relationship with this guy. This break might be his way of seeing other women while keeping you on hold. Either way, get out of there!
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