cinnamon2703 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I am going to try to keep this in a nutshell. I started some part time work at a pub. I met a co worker girl who I became friendly with; going out for drinks now and again. Her ex boyfriend who used to work at the pub came into the pub drinking regularly. They had a 3 year relationship and he worshipped the ground she walked on. He treated her like a princess (a lot of people including her told me this) He bought her everything, surprised her with gifts and holidays, and was very openly affectionate on social media. She broke up with him when she cheated on him with his best friend. She is still in that relationship. This was 2 years ago. They stayed friends (despite the awful circumstances) mainly because they run in the same friendship circle. He learned to forgive her and get on with life. They became really good friends. Her ex came back to work at the pub in June. He and I became friendly and flirty. I spoke to this girl about the possibility of us dating and she enthusiastically gave her blessing reminding me of how much of a good boyfriend he was. So we started to date. After a few months we went 'official' and now we have been going out 7 months. Here is my problem: I have now developed a big problem with his girl because she is my boyfriends ex. They are so friendly towards each other. He sees her at least 5 times a week whether that be in work or social situations. He even talks to her about me. I feel she is too involved with our relationship. Its very hard not to make comparisons to their relationship. Our relationship is very different to theirs. It's more 'grown up' and not very romantic like theirs was. She brings up their relationship and past experiences all the time. Which makes me (and her current BF) feel uncomfortable. It's like she doesn't respect that I am am the girlfriend now. He never finished that relationship and they never had move on time. I worry he never really got over his feelings for her and will never love me as much as he loved her. There is so much more I can go into to explain why I worry they are 'too close' but I wont go on. Does anyone else think they would feel like this or am I being silly and need a wake up call?
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I think you should have opened your eyes wider before getting involved with him. From all accounts he has always carried a torch for her, you just didn't want to see it. If he is truly committed to you (which is questionable), can you ask him to curtail, not end just diminish, the frequency with which he interacts with her? If he can't or won't, it's time for you to get a new BF & a new job. There is no way you will be able to work with these two.
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