Tom811 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 When a woman definitely wants a friendship with you...spends 30-60 min per conversation with you ..over months...but will not go out with you on a date....what is going on in her head? I would like some thoughts . My view is she likes my personality alot but does not find me physically attractive...most likely scenario? Also, since she does not date anyone else, she could be asexual..or frigid.....another possibility.
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 When a woman definitely wants a friendship with you...spends 30-60 min per conversation with you ..over months...but will not go out with you on a date....what is going on in her head? I would like some thoughts . My view is she likes my personality alot but does not find me physically attractive...most likely scenario? Also, since she does not date anyone else, she could be asexual..or frigid.....another possibility. You are in the friendzone, she likes to talk to you casually but doesn't see you as relationship material, so doesn't want to date you - could be loads of reasons for that, it may be looks, but it could quite easily be due to something else. The fact she is apparently not dating anyone, I very much doubt is due to frigidity or being asexual... 1
Zippy2000 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 You answered your own thread. Your view is correct. A girl that doesnt want to take it any further means she likes you but doesn find you attractive enough to have a relationship with you. Think about it the other way. Think about it if you liked a girl and didnt find her attractive enough to date her. Its the exact same thing.
loveiswar101 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Just been friendzoned myself...bailed...not worth the hassle...that's where your at my friend...make a choice.. No date ! Why bother ! Plenty other out there !
smudge21 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I've been Googling around seeing what others say about the dreaded friendzone situation and the results are as random as anything. Basically, you are friendzoned, but as this is early doors, do you want to bail or like the idea of being just someones friend. Think about it. I agree with loveiswar that after you've been close to someone it's impossible to just be friends straight away, however as you two haven't maybe you could be. Also from what I read, it seems not impossible to get out of that friendzone.. you just have to stop being so friendly, so available, so always there, plus making it clear you're playing the field as a single guy seems to help... but then you may end up finding someone who wants to be with you properly, so in affect, it's a win win situation. You just need to decide what it is you really want.
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Just been friendzoned myself...bailed...not worth the hassle...that's where your at my friend...make a choice.. No date ! Why bother ! Plenty other out there ! YOU weren't friend zoned, you had a relationship which ended when she broke up with you.
Jabron1 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I've been Googling around seeing what others say about the dreaded friendzone situation and the results are as random as anything. Basically, you are friendzoned, but as this is early doors, do you want to bail or like the idea of being just someones friend. Think about it. You don't seem to understand what the friendzone is. Occasionally it is a genuine desire to be friends. But, often it is a way to keep a guy on the backburner as a low priority option. Or it's used as a means to keep a guy for attention/validation with no intention whatsoever of giving back any value. Sometimes it's simply a way to use a guy for another utility such as business contacts, party invites, etc. In basic terms, it's taking security from a guy without offering any intimacy. It's a complete rip off in terms of an exchange of value. It's a clever way of dealing with a guy that a woman doesn't immediately want. It's puts all of the social pressure back on him, because he's the one who looks bad if he refuses to be 'friends'. 1
Robert Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Moderation stepping in to announce that this thread is not to be used for gender-bashing or a gender-war. A few posts have been deleted and we urge all to stick to the topic. For more information, please read: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/loveshack-org-questions-comments/546209-policy-individual-group-bashing-berating Thanks, ~6
carhill Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 When a woman definitely wants a friendship with you...spends 30-60 min per conversation with you ..over months...but will not go out with you on a date....what is going on in her head? Hard to know for sure but one sure sign is her lack of interest in pressing flesh, a harbinger of romance. My view is she likes my personality alot but does not find me physically attractive...most likely scenario? I've seen the gamut; one sure thing is she likes that you're willing to spend time on her and the interaction itself. Otherwise, you'd be erased before you could spit. Also, since she does not date anyone else, she could be asexual..or frigid.....another possibility. Sure, possible, as are many other explanations. Tip from older guy who's been down this road: Don't try to figure women out or attempt to read their minds. Do what you do, stick to your boundaries, and accept the results. If you like talking with this woman and not going on dates and pressing flesh with her, OK, do that. If you want to go on dates with her and she doesn't, accept that and move on. You can still enjoy her company and banter while pressing flesh with other women. She would be a platonic friend. Friends can be nice to have in life.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 When a woman definitely wants a friendship with you...spends 30-60 min per conversation with you ..over months...but will not go out with you on a date....what is going on in her head? I would like some thoughts . My view is she likes my personality alot but does not find me physically attractive...most likely scenario? Also, since she does not date anyone else, she could be asexual..or frigid.....another possibility. I had something similar to this happen to me. I actually hit it off with a woman at met at Meetup...got her phone number and called her up to ask her out...but prior to asking her, I started off the conversation just talking, and got to know her a little. Didn't talk for too long, but I concluded the conversation with... "So how about we get together this weekend? I'd like to buy you dinner" She said, "Yes, I would love to! But, I'm busy all that weekend, how about we try for next weekend?" I said, "Sure!" Getting closer to the next following weekend, I call her up to make firm plans...we chatted some, but I concluded again if Saturday was good for her...and she said, "I'm tutor a Japanese student on Saturday morning." Since it was just ONLY the morning she mentioned, and not the rest of the day...I guess she made the mistake of saying "I'm busy Saturday morning" instead of saying, "I am busy ALL day, Saturday." And I said, "Oh, so you're free Saturday afternoon then?" So this caught her off guard. lol And she got defensive in regards to nosing around her plans after her tutoring session. I was like, "Hey, I don't mean to be pushy, I'm just trying to figure out when you're free." She said, "If you push, I'll just push back." And I said, "Well, if you're going to be like that, then just forget the whole thing." We ended the call. I guess she was okay with a phone buddy (this would happen with me before the days of texting.), but not an actual meet n greet.
preraph Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 When a woman definitely wants a friendship with you...spends 30-60 min per conversation with you ..over months...but will not go out with you on a date....what is going on in her head? I would like some thoughts . My view is she likes my personality alot but does not find me physically attractive...most likely scenario? Also, since she does not date anyone else, she could be asexual..or frigid.....another possibility. Asexual frigid people are pretty rare, so it's probably not that. Odds are she simply isn't attracted to you physically and likes a different physical or attitude type. Nothing you can do about it. Women are perfectly happy to be just friends with a guy they're not attracted to, unlike most men. If you're stuck on her, stop being friends so you can move on because it isn't going to happen.
Lobouspo Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 (edited) I know from experience that when women say "I like you but I'm not dating anyone right now, don't want to date anyone now", its just code talk for I just like you as a friend, or the attention, validation you give me. I don't want you as a boyfriend. Would not be surprised if she is dating or at least has a prospect ahead of you in the batting order. If you enjoy being a friend/orbiter, with the possibility it could lead to more, continue as is. You can only control your actions. If you continue to pine for something more, dont' be surprised when the day rolls around when she suddenly has a serious boyfriend. Watch for that. The key is expectations. If you like present situation, just assume it will never lead to anything more, or else you are setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. You can't make someone fall in love with you, but you can control all personal boundaries you have with people, including women you may be attracted to. As a naïve orbiter in my younger days for attractive women, I no longer have the emotional energy for those type of mind games. Edited March 2, 2016 by Lobouspo typo
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