Wtf is this girl done with me? Unmatched on Tinder, no text reply mid conversation...

[spriggan2]

So I Tindered up recently with a really sloppy profile at first (two rough selfies and a bloated bio). Still managed to get some matches. I went on a few dates which were pleasant, but the girls would fade away, our interest keeping contact would dissolve, then I would log back on and re-up on matches.

 

In the midst of this cycle I met one girl who was a Tinder novice like me. She didn't want to meet right away but she seemed intelligent and interesting, so I was patient. She gave me her number and we texted for like 3 weeks. Finally she was ready and our schedules opened up for us to have dinner. We went out. She was cute in person and very sweet. I'm into her. I paid. She told me I was super tall (6'2). I told her I had fun and she said good because she was worried I didn't.

 

After that we deepened our texting. I began to share more of my life. I would talk about work and family, loosen up a bit. She did too. Then we met the very next weekend and went to this random jazz club (my pick). We turned out to be the only couple with a combined age of less than a century (yelp let me down) but I didn't apologize for it. And anyway we both had fun, warmed to each other. We sat side by side this time so we could rub shoulders. Her sweater was plush, soft and lovely, and I'd like to think my sprinkle of Hugo Boss cologne teased her libido. She gave me a ride in her car. I paid for everything. We hugged goodbye.

 

Here is the pair of text exchanges that led to her ghosting me. See if you can make sense of it. Time stamps are important for Monday.

 

Saturday night

Me: Hey, I hope you made it back ok. Thanks again for dropping me off.

Her: Hey. Im home! No problem dropping you at all. I really enjoyed myself. It's been a while since Ive been to a jazz concert. So this was great for me!

Her: Sorry again about the awkward hug.

Me: Lol its fine. Im just glad you enjoyed it.

Her: I did. Did you enjoy it? Or would you rather have went downtown?

Me: Nah I really liked the music.

Her: Same here!

 

Sunday

No chat.

 

Monday

Her: 10:23am - Happy Monday! Hope you have a productive Monday!

Me: 12:02pm - lol thanks for the boost, I'll try! Got no interruptions this week so no excuses

Me: 12:02pm - How does your week look?

Her: 12:10pm- Looks kind of rough honestly...*paragraph about grad school*

Her: 12:10pm - Glad Im going away this weekend. I need a moment away from school and lab lol

Me: 12:27pm - Yeah a break sounds perfect for you

Me: 12:27pm - Are you going some place relaxing

 

The End.

 

And I've heard nothing from her since. If I were a critic I would say it seems a bit rushed, but you be the judge.

 

Now ordinarily I would say give it time, but there have been at least two instances when she would explain what kept her MIA even for just a couple hours. But more importantly, when I checked Tinder today I noticed she had unmatched me. Wtf? I mean I still have her phone number but...sigh..

 

The only rational explanation I've considered is that a few weeks ago I updated my sloppy Tinder profile. I added a better photo and I refined my bio to be more succinct. Could she have noticed this a few weeks later and been turned off by the possibility that I'm actively seeking other women while we're getting to know each other? We're not even close to being exclusive but we text almost every day and were definitely moving in some sort of relationship direction.

 

I dunno. I'm more perplexed than upset. I broke up with a different girl like two months ago so I still feel immune to getting my feelings hurt by someone else, but of all the ghosting I've experienced on Tinder thus far, this one's really making me scratch my head. Maybe I'll text her in a day or two.

 

Shrug

Edited March 2, 2016 by spriggan2

[ff12343]

From being ghosted from online dating I say this:

 

Do not contact at all and update us what happens in a few days. Thats step 1.

[yxalitis]

err, why not just text her again?

She didn't reply to a text, and assume that means it's over?

Try again..if she ignores THAT one, OK, give up.

[TXGuy]

She is a chick on tinder. She is getting hit on by hotter and smoother guys 10+ times a day. You had your shot. She is going with her other options. You 'upgrading' your profile has absolutely nothing to do with her current disinterest.

[frus69]

Can't be that she deleted her account?

[edgygirl]

Yes this would annoy me (and has) if I was interested in a guy.

 

But... they say we can't expect exclusivity in the early stages, so it would be odd if she ghosted you over it.

 

The only rational explanation I've considered is that a few weeks ago I updated my sloppy Tinder profile. I added a better photo and I refined my bio to be more succinct. Could she have noticed this a few weeks later and been turned off by the possibility that I'm actively seeking other women while we're getting to know each other? We're not even close to being exclusive but we text almost every day and were definitely moving in some sort of relationship direction.

Shrug

 

In any case... chill. It's been only one day, right? Give it a few days and write her again saying hi, ask her how she's been doing as if nothing happened. If she still doesn't respond, then give up as she'll be showing clear lack of interest.