Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I met this girl on Tinder. For a week straight we would text constantly, FaceTime, and talk on the phone every night. Every morning she sent me a Good Morning text and we would chat all day. She had work one day, so we set it up to where I would bring her lunch and we ate in my car (I know so romantic). That was on a Saturday and on the following Monday she agreed to meet at the coffee shop by my work while I was on my lunch. I should also mention that this girl is extremely shy. Like the whole time at the coffee shop she barely said anything. I was doing my best to make her laugh, which I did on several occasions. After lunch I walked her to her car and politely gave her a little handshake. Like i said this girl is extremely shy so I did not want to force myself on her in anyway. Afterwards I texted her saying "I hope you had a good time, don't worry I am willing to wait for you to open up more". She did reply to that text saying "lol because like I said it will take a bit". I replied asking if she would want to hang out again. That was the last text she sent me. I text the next day "Good Morning". Later that afternoon I text her again saying "I take it with the lack of responses you no longer wanted to talk. It was nice getting to know you. I wish you nothing but the best going forward". I feel so bad, because I think I made to much of a deal of her being so shy. Should I pursue her anymore or just leave it as is?
katiegrl Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I think you should leave it. It sounds like when she met you in person.... she wasn't quite "feeling it" if ya know what I mean. Had nothing to do with her being shy. Going forward, it's best not to get too wrapped up in texting, facetime, etc before meeting....because everything changes once you meet in person. 1
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 The thing is we had met in person earlier in the week. As well as FaceTimed, talking on the phone. I believe I just pushed to hard about the shy thing.
katiegrl Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 The thing is we had met in person earlier in the week. As well as FaceTimed, talking on the phone. I believe I just pushed to hard about the shy thing. Could you elaborate on that a bit? How did you push her too hard about being shy?
yxalitis Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 She's Not Interested Why is it so hard for people to understand that?
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 I believe at one point I said "I thought I was shy" and "You're tough over text". Which she replied "it's easier over text". Also, she was like this on the phone and FaceTime. She is a very, very, introverted girl. Which is why I stayed away from anything inappropriate during any of our conversations. Even when I walked her to her car afterwards I knew I wasn't going to go in for a kiss, not even a hug. I feel so bad, because it went from getting a good morning text everyday to her from her. To just nothing.
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 She's Not Interested Why is it so hard for people to understand that? I know where you're coming from, but it's crazy how it did a complete 180 in the matter of an hour.
preraph Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 She may not consider herself shy. Maybe nervous meeting a stranger, which is normal. By acting like she was defective, you insulted her. You also sort of showed your hand that you expect her to "open up more," which if she's been dating any length of time online, she will probably interpret only one way. "I had a nice time. Want to go out again" would have been a lot less invasive. 1
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 She may not consider herself shy. Maybe nervous meeting a stranger, which is normal. By acting like she was defective, you insulted her. You also sort of showed your hand that you expect her to "open up more," which if she's been dating any length of time online, she will probably interpret only one way. "I had a nice time. Want to go out again" would have been a lot less invasive. lol first thing she said when I asked if she wanted to talk on the phone was "I am very shy talking to people". I completely understand that I could have insulted her, which is why I feel so bad.
ff12343 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Tempted to ask what this girls name is because the exact same thing happened to me. Only we hooked up and then some. She was very into me and then boom a 180. I know i did nothing. You said you met on Tinder? Guess what? You're replaceable with a swipe. Do you have any idea how many people she is talking to at the same time? Here's my advice. NEVER text her again. If she wants to talk, she will text you. My situation happened in nov/dec and im still sour about it. This is online dating for you. Sorry man. You can have whatever kind of hope you want but do not text her. Ever.
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 Tempted to ask what this girls name is because the exact same thing happened to me. Only we hooked up and then some. She was very into me and then boom a 180. I know i did nothing. You said you met on Tinder? Guess what? You're replaceable with a swipe. Do you have any idea how many people she is talking to at the same time? Here's my advice. NEVER text her again. If she wants to talk, she will text you. My situation happened in nov/dec and im still sour about it. This is online dating for you. Sorry man. You can have whatever kind of hope you want but do not text her. Ever. Yeah I won't text her anymore, I've actually deleted her number. If she was talking to other guys then, that's crazy because she would literally text me back immediately (girls usually don't do this).
katiegrl Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I know where you're coming from, but it's crazy how it did a complete 180 in the matter of an hour. Hey look it happens. It happens in long term relationships too. People ghost suddenly, completely disappear without warning. You had what, two dates? This should be just a mere blip on your radar. She lost interest. Sorry.
ff12343 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Yeah I won't text her anymore, I've actually deleted her number. If she was talking to other guys then, that's crazy because she would literally text me back immediately (girls usually don't do this). Doesn't have to be at that precise moment. Could have been RIGHT after your date. I mean I'm on jswipe which is the jewish version of Tinder and one day i have nothing and then another i have 6 hot opportunities. It all happens in a day. This is just an idea. Doesn't have to be this obviously but the fact of not texting her stays. Don't do it. Get back on Tinder.
katiegrl Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Tempted to ask what this girls name is because the exact same thing happened to me. . People always say this...but there are millions of girls (and guys) out there who are like this.
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 Hey look it happens. It happens in long term relationships too. People ghost suddenly, completely disappear without warning. You had what, two dates? This should be just a mere blip on your radar. She lost interest. Sorry. Yeah a mere blip on my radar of the only two dates i've had in over a year :/
katiegrl Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Yeah a mere blip on my radar of the only two dates i've had in over a year :/ Why is that? I would explore why that is....within yourself.
ff12343 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Yeah a mere blip on my radar of the only two dates i've had in over a year :/ Download Jswipe and put willing to convert as your option. Easiest app to use. Regardless, you WILL get dates. Some of those girls are GORGEOUS. Good luck.
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 Why is that? I would explore why that is....within yourself. I would say because this is the first time I have put myself out there in a long time. Most of the time if I see a girl I like out in a store or anywhere I do nothing about it. The funny thing I never expected tinder to get me a date in the first place.
Author Rosales216 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 Download Jswipe and put willing to convert as your option. Easiest app to use. Regardless, you WILL get dates. Some of those girls are GORGEOUS. Good luck. Thank you sir
905 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 She's Not Interested Why is it so hard for people to understand that? The other person acts interested. People feel like they are progressing with the other person, when the other person acts as interested as us. It feels like baby steps towards something, and it should, because situations are dynamic. People reveal important information about who they are as a person, thinking they are entrusting someone who will be around for further stories, not imagining they'd just disappear. It's far easier to type "the person is not interested", when you aren't involved in the situation. Nobody is having it easy in trying to find a suitor, or trying to keep a partner interested over the long-term. We're muddling along.
katie.jackson Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I don't know if you're telling us all the details, but maybe you did something wrong on a date? Sometimes little quirks can make others distant. Look through this article, it may help: http://blog.nexusdate.com/what-guys-shouldnt-do-on-a-first-date-if-the-want-a-second-one/
Author Rosales216 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 I don't know if you're telling us all the details, but maybe you did something wrong on a date? Sometimes little quirks can make others distant. Look through this article, it may help: http://blog.nexusdate.com/what-guys-shouldnt-do-on-a-first-date-if-the-want-a-second-one/ I think what happened was I made to much of a deal with her being so shy. It's just unfortunate because I though we were really compatible.
katiegrl Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 I think what happened was I made to much of a deal with her being so shy. It's just unfortunate because I though we were really compatible. I think what happened was she just isn't attracted to you. When women are attracted, a man can do almost no wrong. And from you've posted, you didn't make *that* huge of a deal about her being shy. You are trying to justify something that requires no justification other than to say - she just isn't attracted enough to want to move forward with you. The End..
ff12343 Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 The other person acts interested. People feel like they are progressing with the other person, when the other person acts as interested as us. It feels like baby steps towards something, and it should, because situations are dynamic. People reveal important information about who they are as a person, thinking they are entrusting someone who will be around for further stories, not imagining they'd just disappear. It's far easier to type "the person is not interested", when you aren't involved in the situation. Nobody is having it easy in trying to find a suitor, or trying to keep a partner interested over the long-term. We're muddling along. This is spot on.
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