ianna Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 (edited) I will try to keep this short and clear. I need some advices and insights. We've met 3 months ago, we don't live close and we are not in a relationship which makes perfect sense. Yes, we did have sex couple of times. And during those 3 months I'was at his town 2 times. While I was there we've literaly lived together and spent whole of my time there together visiting the city, talking, going for a 9 hour long walks. He thinks I am perfect as he told me so. I am suposed to move there regardless of him in a couple of months, he knows that. Since we last saw each other a month ago, here is the situatuion. The thing that bothers me is that I like to have pointless chats and sometimes I text him random stuff or we talk about some life problems (mostly I write about myself, so it was pretty long last two times). I was a bit stressed lately and we are close friends. I am like that. He did seen it, but he doesn't replies immediately. Last two times he replied like couple of days later just "How are you?" Then I was like excited to get his text and immediately responded with something short and normal. Then he didn't say anything for 5 days to that too. WTF? I've gave up and thought he was not interested at all since he never chats with me or asks me questions. So after those 5 days which was last week a guy all of the sudden asks me how I am doing. I didn't reply anything for 3 days. Eventually I did say just two word. Then he told me that he doesnt understand my chats at all. That I make it too long and that he doesn't know what to say to me. That all he wants to know is how I am and what I am doing not other irelevant ****. I didn't reply for 2 days. I've told him I will call him the next day because I was busy, no chats. And that I know he doesn't understands how my brain works because he is a guy. The thing is that I did not call him at all as I said so. 3 days went by. He also didn't reply again or at least said something like "great, call me tomorrow at 6 pm when I finish work, looking forward hearing from you" Something, anything. I am loosing interest in calling him at all, I've thought he was loosing interest. Then he says he wants to know all about me and be in touch? WTF? Is it worth to be in touch or should I move on? I am loosing interest but I still do like this guy a lot, just don't see this stuff working out if I will be the one investing in something and calling and trying to keep to communication going if he doesn't chase me. (well maybe he did try to chase me now) What does this whole thing mean? Does he wants me in his life because he really loves me as friend or something more or just because he is bored or whatever? If he does as he says, why doesnt he try to talk to me or text me like every couple of days or respond to my texts even if I f...it up a bit ;) He is a guy he should chase me, call me if he claims he wants to know all about me. Even couple of weeks back when I've told him I've missed him, he gave me a bloody smiley face!! I am lost... Edited March 1, 2016 by ianna
yxalitis Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 He doesn't sound interested in you as a a person, but likes the idea of you enough to keep you hanging on...most likely for sex. If he liked YOU he would take the time to reply, be more communicative, ask you about your problems, reply to your heartfelt text messages. As it is, I think he just wants to keep you on the side in case he gets horny. Don't do that.
Author ianna Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 (edited) He did say he wants to know how am I doing and wants to talk to me, but not in written contex because he doesn't understands my texts. He literary said that to me as a voice message which was pretty long. (5 minutes) I don't understand if it is so because I could be confusing person by my writting... Why didn't he then picked up a phone 3 weeks ago and just called me or something? Saying to me I don't understand you. Let's talk like this now and then. Stop writing and let's talk! Now after 3 weeks after I've left all of the sudden he seems really interested in me as usual. I mean he did reply in these three weeks after couple of days, but as I said if my text lead him to be confused and don't know what to say to them, he should tell me that long time ago, not now all of the sudden. Men are weird creatures. They start to miss you when you loose interest and pull away. I seriously don''t have a will to have any communication with him anymore, because our virtual communication is so bad. In person we talk about everything for like 16 hours per day and we are open to each other, we have good communication, I've never had that kind of communication and getting along with some guy like ever. But this is like being in elementary school. I just don't get it why now? A month passed by. In these 3-4 weeks our communication was f..up. He is a guy, he should of pick his phone and call me and tell me to stop beaing a texting freak because he doesn''t understand anything. I am thinking of quitting this. I don't think he can keep me a side when he gets horny because we are miles away. There is no point. We never had horny conversations. It's like he asks me how am I I reply (I mean I do reply and ask back and ask questions) He stops He then says something or nothing. Then he asks me again how am I doing Then I ask him again how is he doing? Then he stops. And now he voice messages me 5 minute long stuff after 3 weeks. I was thinking okay dude. I know I ****ed up and was too long and you got confused. But still you didn't f..ing say much at all, so f...off. Why would I call you now even if I said I would since you didn't invested anything 3 weeks ago to put our communication in right direction. Why now? Edited March 1, 2016 by ianna
TXGuy Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 I think the guy's heart is in the right place and he likes you. Perhaps you can try to keep things positive (at least civil) until you are in his town. I expect you will get along pretty well face to face. Regarding you being upset about text exchanges: I hope you take this in the spirit it is intended, but I might see his point. I had a bit of trouble following your posts. I understand the overall points, but it seems a bit disjointed and riddled with errors. I would imagine it would be very difficult to understand a long text string that you wrote when you were excited. I think he would be happy to stay in touch, hear about your day, and get to know you better. But, dumping a bunch of information on him via text is probably not the best way to communicate with him. I primarily use text to communicate logistics or send very short affirmative messages (for example, a 'bloody smiley face). It sounds like you get along great in person. You might want to consider taking it easy on him during the time prior to you moving to his city. It would be a shame to ruin what might be a good 'in person' relationship by getting upset about texting protocol. 1
katiegrl Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Men are weird creatures. They start to miss you when you loose interest and pull away. You got THAT right! That's why you don't send them long protracted emails and texts chatting about your feelings and whatever else pops into your head. You gotta keep him moving towards you..... giving him just enough but wanting more. Don't bombard him with texts.... basically leave him alone and he will be putty in your hands! Let him come to you. 3
Author ianna Posted March 4, 2016 Author Posted March 4, 2016 (edited) ok, now what? we did talk for like 10 minutes and i've ended it, because I got another important call. I told him I will call him tomorrow or some other day and he was like that I can call him tomorrow at this time too... Hm....? Don't know If I should do it today or not. On the other hand I've said already 3 times when will I call him and I never did. I feel like being a lying bitch. Just don't wanna be like needy or something but he said he'd love to hear from me. Maybe I should call him also today and then leave it up to him. P.S. I think he really likes me Edited March 4, 2016 by ianna
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