tito1501 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Hey everyone, firstly, would like to wish everyone a great day ! I think I will admit to my girlfriend that I am jealous on seductive guys. I will tell her that even though I have a high self-steem, I fear that seductive and handsome guys will flirt with her, even though I trust her. The main reason i the following: I have always been very good in flirting with girls and I know how powerful a good flirt is towards a girl. I know what is possible to happen even though the girl loves someone else. I always think that other guys may be able to seduce a girl as much as I did in the past. I am afraid that other versions of ME are going to mess around with my girl. Is it okay if I tell her that so I can listen to her position and then probably I will not worry anymore ? Will it decrease my level of attractiveness in the relationship ? Ps: I know I am THE man for her.
Toodaloo Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Tito Why are you making it her problem when the problem is yours? 6
Buddhist Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Will it decrease my level of attractiveness in the relationship ? Ps: I know I am THE man for her. Clearly you don't if you think some flirter will tempt her. I'm on the side of don't tell her for this reason....she might get mad that you think she has no mind of her own, able to make her own decisions. I know you mean well but really your post comes across as a bit condescending. Believing that a simple flirt from some random guy will turn any woman into a cheater or cause her to leave you. We are people you know, and no, sorry but men are highly resistible, even flirty ones. 2
SunBird Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 From my experience, if I have that sort of worry in my mind it is because I don't trust myself, not my other half. If you think you are capable of being tempted away, then you think she is as well. If you truly trust her this should not be a worry. If you do not totally trust her, maybe you do not have quite the right connection. To talk to her about it is tricky. It may make her feel like you don't trust her. On the other hand it is good to be completely open and transparent in how you feel in any relationship so hats off to that. The other day I asked a guy i was dating about a friend of his who was really openly flirty with him and vice versa. He was very upset that I even considered there was anything there (even though i wasnt confusing him of anything, just interested in their chemistry), and he pointed out that he did not ask about a male friend he knows I am close to. Fair dos, trust. I've broken that now. If you both know that you are in a monogamous committed relationship then it should not even be a worry. Perhaps your own self esteem getting in the way. 1
SunBird Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Reading your message again it sounds like you are much more concerned about yourself in this situation - ie protecting your confidence from being bashed due to potential competition. Maybe switch the emphasis to caring about her and not just yourself. She can decide if you are THE man for her.
Gaeta Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Too many men think women are raggie dolls that cannot identify when a man is flirting with them and somehow if another man puts certain words together he will magically sweep them off of their feet. You are not jealous of other men, you don't trust your girlfriend, big difference. You don't trust her to reject the occasional male propositions. You don't trust her being smart enough to know when a man is flirting and to stay away from those men. 1
AMJ Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Unless she thinks you're in an open relationship, or if you are her first boyfriend ever, she probably understands the rules. She should already know not to cheat on you. Is there a specific reason you're worried about other guys? When one person in a relationship is insecure, it's very unattractive. You should feel confident in your relationship and how she feels about you. Having this talk isn't necessarily a bad idea, but you should do it carefully. Recognize that she can't help if men flirt with her, but she can control her response.
ajaysutton Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 I think that instead of telling her how jealous you are when she hasn't strayed away from you, you need to redouble your efforts to SHOW her how much you love her. Actions speak louder than words.
elaine567 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 If she is going to cheat, she is going to cheat, and no little "pep" talks from you, telling her to essentially stay away from handsome guys as it makes you jealous, will make one blind bit of difference. You will probably just come across as being controlling - telling her who she can and cannot speak to, and that can be a huge turn off. Jealousy is not an attractive trait.
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