justagirl1121 Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I need some advice on what to do! I've tried posting here before but I can't find *any* of my posts. So I'll start over and give you the gist. I am 22. I was working as a temp for about ten months. I developed a crush on this guy I worked with. He's going to be 28 in a few weeks. He's got some of the characteristics I've discovered I'm attracted to in a guy, dark hair, a bit taller than me (i'm like 5'7''), he's more like 6 or 6'1''. I love a sense of humor, which he's got. I think I started to like him b/c he's very easy to talk to and tease and joke with. I love hearing everything he's got to say. Now it didn't start out this way until like February, and we grew a little closer as friends. He'd brush past my shoulder or say things like 'aw you're such a sweetheart' like when he'd be like 'can i borrow the stapler" and i'd give it to him. We were like floating temps, going from one cubical everyday to another, wherever there was an empty one. Then for a while we kind of got to keep the same cube. He was in the back of the one aisle when I came in one morning, he comes up and is like "sit here." and that was the cube in front of hte one he'd taken. One day, leaving work, there were these two girls leaving, one in her 20s, the other prob in her 40s. My guy said something about hearing the girl whisper teh other day "that's the one i was telling you about" when he walked by and no one else was around. I said, 'ooh go and ask her out' and he's like "NO". He's like 'walk a little closer, maybe she'll think you're my girlfriend" so i made a comment back like 'you want me to go over and tell her how it is?" Um...in the morning before it got really busy (we worked for something kind of like customer service in a call center) (i really hope he's never found this site by the way, that'd be really embarrassing)...he'd talk to me a whole lot, what he did over the weekend, or just anything in particular. At one point, we had to find different cubes and we always sit near each other but I couldnt the one day so i sat the next row over, and he comes over and is like 'what is this?' i was like sorrrryyy. he's like 'no sorry. we're getting a divorce." the nxt day, kind of the same thing, he's like 'you broke my heart once, i cant do it again' and there were ppl around!!! also, ppl in the dept kind of started to make remarks. like he knew i ate lunch half na hr after him and he still asked day after day what time i asked and the one day i was like 1:30, is htat okay? and another person next to us was like 'wow u two are FLIRTING...you two are getting too wild' things like that. "where's your boy." "going on your date," etc. ok, i've invited him out a few times to the bars. he and 3 other ppl came the first time. this was kinda before i had a thing for him. the next time he didnt come, but the time after that he came. 2 ppl we previously worked with and who he was still friends with were supposed to come. thru most of the night he said they were going to come after their poker game but in the end he said they said they decided not to come. so i dont know if that was just his story or if it was true. not really any way for me to have checked up on that. ppl i was hanging out with were like 'a guy wouldnt come out like that if he didnt like her.' and i guess the one lady was talking to him and asked him something about being there that night nad he'd made a comment like 'i wanted to come' um, well when our assignment ended and we got the call that it was done, he called me to warn me that we were done and he was like well um okay, (chuckle) it was good workin' with you, keep in touch, give me a call sometime, talk to you later." i called back like 40 min after his msg and left a msg and mentioned to call me back but he never did......until a week later when he called to tell me he got another job....so we talked for a few min and stuff. My take was i really wanted to call him but i'm too chicken and i planned to call him as soon as i found a job or something to give me an excuse, so do u think he was ddoing the same thing??? The big cheese here is that this coming friday i am going downtown with my friend i went to college with and her co workers. I want to invite him. I'd rather him come by himself, but i dont know what the best thing to do is. I plan to call him first and if he asks who else is going i will say my friend and her coworkers so far....i want to imply i havent invited the couple other ppl who are still at the job we were at....like say 'i havent gotten that far yet...' but 2 things are, i dont really want them to come b/c it would interfer with my time with him....but ido have to invite them otherwise he'd find out....they prob wont come anyway though, so it might be in my favor. i also dont want to like scare him away if he's NOT interested in me by not inviting anyone else, but if he IS interested in me i dont want him to not come b/c i AM inviting other ppl. my other question is for guys, i am inviting him to hang out as a friend, but i'm not making any actual moves b/c i'm too scared and i dont know what his feelings are, so he's got to be the one to make some move...so what would your impression of be if this were u. Would you realize what is going on or just think it was a platonic thing? One thing is he is planning to move halfway across the state real soon, i dont know if he realllly is doing that or if its a lot of talk and a lot of seriousness but it wont really happen kind of thing....... i need some feedback, i know this was long, but i wanted to give you some idea. I've never dated anyone, and i never get attn from guys, he's like the first, i can't see how he wouldnt be interested b/c of some of his actions and things he says....anything you could tell me would be appreciated!!! Please dont tell me to tell him how i feel, etc, i already know those things....i need impressions of what u think he might be thinking b/c u know what i'm thinking and feeling..... it's such a great feeling sometimes, but it also SUCKS real bad!!!! Thank You!
Author justagirl1121 Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 i have an update on this thing. he never did call me but i called him tonite. he answered. we talked about his new job and stuff. we talked for like half an hr. he didnt seem like he wanted to end the call or get away from me. actually it was like a mutual end, whci was weird. i got around to mentioning going downtown with my friends and was like would u be interested. he said he doesnt know. b/c he doesnt get paid for like 2 1/2 weeks b/c his first day was today and he has no money but i was like i am in the same boat u dont have to drink etc....i was like come down, he said i do want to hang out sometime, i told him to call me tomorrow either way....he said ok....so we'll see..... any comments?
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by justagirl1121 any comments? Make your posts shorter - you will probably get more replies that way. OK, I'd say it's fairly obvious you don't have dating experience. It's very sweet too Let's see if we can help a little. My guess would be that he likes you and likes flirting with you, but isn't interested that way. This is because he has had plenty of opportunity and hasn't made a move. However, the only way to be sure is to stop agonising and offer one-on-one time with him. It must be one-on-one, not with the security blanket of 9 other people you always seem to take Make it something ambiguous, which you could do as friends. And something cheap. If he can't make it, then he's not interested. If he comes, be flirty and friendly. Touch him occasionally in a natural way and be responsive if he touches you back (smile etc, although I suspect this will come naturally). If he makes a move he's interested. Otherwise probably not.
Author justagirl1121 Posted June 19, 2005 Author Posted June 19, 2005 thanks for the reply....point taken....I guess i've done all that i can. he did call me back the next day, but he couldnt come. whether his excuse was real i dont know. i'm supposed to keep him updated tho, but i'm not going to continue to call and invite him if he doesnt come. i figured it'd take some 'no longer working together' to get somewhere. i think it's a good idea i dont call him again and see what he does. my friend is always telling me this person or that person likes me, and she's like 'he was flirting with you when he kept asking you who keeps txt msging you' i was like WHATEVER. she was like 'that's his way, you dont even notice it' it makes me feel good but i dont know whether to blieve her or not, i guess i can't really tell the signs sometimes, but i figure if she's right and guys are somewhat intrested even if they never really make an effort on their part, then this guy i like could be interested. i am done tho, he'll have to call me next sometime.
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