Learningtowalkagain Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Long story short, dated a girl all of 2014, we talked marriage. Broke up mutually beginning of 2015. She shows back up in my life this past November. Told me she still loved me, I was the only guy she ever loved, I'm her soul mate this that and the other. Then she had second thoughts. So I decided to cut all contact with her mid January. I was strict NC and going along fine, talking to other girls. Last Friday night she drunk texts me asking me how match.com is going...this was at 1 am. I text'd her back in the morning, saying it's going great and asked her how she was. She made a comment like "yeah I'm sure it's going great", then proceeded to ask me about a mutual friend she thought I was dating. I made a fb post on this friends wall and she thought we were dating. I told her I wasn't dating her but it was nice to know she still cares, she text'd me this long text about how she always thought I had a thing for her, and she still cares about me it was just she didn't want to go backwards in life if we got back together, when we dated she couldn't get me to go to the doctors (not true) but now it looks like I'm doing so great. We're not fb friends (I unfriended her) but our mutual friend told me she deleted her fb for the week and that was the reason why. As much as I try to deny it, I still love her. And I know she still loves me. At this point I'm not initiating contact and going back to NC. But I know once she contacts me I'll respond. Anyone ever go through something like this? 1
Author Learningtowalkagain Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 You lack self-discipline. I do not deny this 1
Grumpybutfun Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 “No looking back. Life goes one way only. And whatever opinions you hold about the past have nothing to do with anything but your own damn weakness. Nothing changes what already happened. It will always have happened. You either let it break you down or you don't. A simple enough lesson...” ― Charles Frazier, Nightwoods Time to let go, stop romanticizing the past and take control of your own life. Best, G 1
jenkins95 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Hi learningtowalkagain...... Apologies if I missed something, but you do still love her, right? She still loves you, right? And you are both single? So what on earth are you both doing apart? Why struggle maintaining NC and unfriending on FB? I don't get it! Why don't you guys just go for it and have some fun? Whatever happens and whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best! Take care J 1
Author Learningtowalkagain Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 Hi learningtowalkagain...... Apologies if I missed something, but you do still love her, right? She still loves you, right? And you are both single? So what on earth are you both doing apart? Why struggle maintaining NC and unfriending on FB? I don't get it! Why don't you guys just go for it and have some fun? Whatever happens and whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best! Take care J That's more her than me, she says she doesn't want to go backwards in life...and that's what she'd be doing if we got back together. It makes no sense to me either. When we were together we were very compatible, attracted to each other, never really argued...just had differences and decided to mutually call it quits since we work together. She's told me she still loved me and friends of hers have told me the same. Since I've gone NC I've given her no sign that I would take her back. I made it known I'm actively dating and on dating websites. I just wonder about this drunk text...was it just breadcrumbs or was she just jealous because she thought i was dating a mutual friend. I haven't had contact with her in a week, but I know at some point she'll reach back out. I don't know what to do from there, half of me wants to hang out with her - which I know she'll be fine with - then see how it goes. The other half wants to move on.
dumbass2 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 you say that you know she still loves you. We'll if she truly did then you two would be together and she wouldn't be having these second thoughts. She can tell that you would be in a relationship with her in a second if she said that is what she wants. She cam back a second time and it didn't work. Now she just "drunk" texts you. Really nothing substantial there to get excited about. She just hasn't met a guy that she really likes so she knows now that you will always respond to her. You need to learn some self discipline and self respect at this point and not only don't initiate, but most importantly, do not respond. I get a feeling you know what you want which is to try and make a go at a long term relationship with this woman. She is undecided. I don't get a sense that you can just "hang out" with her and not be thinking about being romantic. Of course it's fine with her because she does not want that commitment to you. I think you want more than she is able/willing to give you. I don't believe she loves you the way you love her. I was in that spot the second time around with my ex and really cut things off. I responded to one of your first threads on here a while back. You should go back and read some things you said about her and your other threads. 1
darkbloom Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Your very best response to a drunk text? None at all.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 That's more her than me, she says she doesn't want to go backwards in life...and that's what she'd be doing if we got back together. It makes no sense to me either. When we were together we were very compatible, attracted to each other, never really argued...just had differences and decided to mutually call it quits since we work together. She's told me she still loved me and friends of hers have told me the same. Since I've gone NC I've given her no sign that I would take her back. I made it known I'm actively dating and on dating websites. I just wonder about this drunk text...was it just breadcrumbs or was she just jealous because she thought i was dating a mutual friend. I haven't had contact with her in a week, but I know at some point she'll reach back out. I don't know what to do from there, half of me wants to hang out with her - which I know she'll be fine with - then see how it goes. The other half wants to move on. Dude -- it's a drunk text. You're overanalyzing it way too much. Stop responding to stuff like that. Seriously.
Author Learningtowalkagain Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 you say that you know she still loves you. We'll if she truly did then you two would be together and she wouldn't be having these second thoughts. She can tell that you would be in a relationship with her in a second if she said that is what she wants. She cam back a second time and it didn't work. Now she just "drunk" texts you. Really nothing substantial there to get excited about. She just hasn't met a guy that she really likes so she knows now that you will always respond to her. You need to learn some self discipline and self respect at this point and not only don't initiate, but most importantly, do not respond. I get a feeling you know what you want which is to try and make a go at a long term relationship with this woman. She is undecided. I don't get a sense that you can just "hang out" with her and not be thinking about being romantic. Of course it's fine with her because she does not want that commitment to you. I think you want more than she is able/willing to give you. I don't believe she loves you the way you love her. I was in that spot the second time around with my ex and really cut things off. I responded to one of your first threads on here a while back. You should go back and read some things you said about her and your other threads. You're spot on and definitely right. I'm actively talking to 2 other girls right now. Trying to meet up etc. Gonna focus on that and ignore her. 1
Author Learningtowalkagain Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 Dude -- it's a drunk text. You're overanalyzing it way too much. Stop responding to stuff like that. Seriously. The 6 texts the following day weren't drunk texts...just saying
Simon Phoenix Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 The 6 texts the following day weren't drunk texts...just saying Which were caused by you responding to the drunk text, which you shouldn't have done in the first place. She threw out a terrible breadcrumb, you gobbled it up like you've been on a hunger strike. 2
dumbass2 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 You're spot on and definitely right. I'm actively talking to 2 other girls right now. Trying to meet up etc. Gonna focus on that and ignore her. Absolutely the best move. Tell yourself it just wasn't meant to be with her or it would have happened. Forget the thinking she is in love with you. She's not. NC which means not responding if you get something. Block if you can. You owe it to yourself to explore and see what's out there. you have to give it an honest shot. I can't tell if you are able yet to fully invest yourself with someone new and give it a fair shot, but give it a go. I know I dated a lot after my break up and while we were back in contact, but I look back now and see that I really didn't give anyone a chance because they were not enough like my ex. I thought I was giving things a fair chance. I wasn't. I have taken 4 months off from dating and no ex in the picture and finally feel like I can now go out and be fair with anyone I meet. Always do what you feel is best for you, but always be honest with yourself.
Author Learningtowalkagain Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 You guys are all right. I guess I came here for a reality check. So thank you everyone. Back to strict NC.
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