firegirl911 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 My ex boyfriend and I was together for 9 years. I thought we had a great relationship, we have had our ups & downs but what relationship don't. We purchased a house and have been doing all kinds of renovations making it the way we wanted it and also just bought a new vehicle. We were planning trips this summer. And back In the middle of November I see that he was texting a lot because when I paid our cell phone bills I kept seeing this number but he had it programed on his phone has a guy and I never paid much attention until Jan 1 I read some of his msg and it sounded like flirting and I questioned him and he told me who it was. She's a 22 year old girl and also a co.worker I said do you want to date her and he said well if I was single I probably will she's a little young. So o left and it wasn't a week later and he's been with her. She stays to our house all the time. Im 33 so there was a 13 age gap between us. But for.him to in a relationship with a girl whos only 22 . Is this wrong ? Or am I over re acting? Why would he give up everything for her, what kind of a relationship do they have they don't come out in a public together because they know it's wrong. He actually went to school with her parents . He never did drugs or drank much now he's been drinking all the time and she is into drugs and likes to party. I still love him and I don't know why
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You have to move on. His current situation is neither you concern, nor your problem. He made his choice. He's dating a co-worker, and that always spells additional professional problems too - but you know what? Who cares? He's made his bed, let him lie in it. Your biggest, most massive, fatal mistake would be to take him back if he comes crawling to your door begging to be let back in. Talking of which: the house situation: What's the deal there? Did you buy it together? is your name on the title deed? 1
Qboro90 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You can't say that his relationship with her is wrong and inappropriate without also saying the same for your relationship with him. I think you'll have a hard time getting people to side with you in thinking that a 38yo (his age when you started dating) dating a 24 year old is acceptable yet a 47 year old dating a 22 year old is not. She's 11 years younger than you btw. There is a lot missing from your story. You say you found out he was texting another girl and then left. Then a week later he's with her? So you broke up with him when he said he liked her and didn't try to discuss it at all? Did you move out of the house? Is he the one who pays the bills or do you have your own job independently able? And you say your relationship has its ups and downs. I sense that there were ongoing issues between you that would be relevant to the break up. What were they? If you haven't moved out yet then that's an awful situation to be in and needs to end ASAP. Did you want to have a future with kids with this guy? Had you discussed it? Since he is 47 now then I would assume he isn't really the kind of guy who cares about having or wants kids or a monogamous marriage forever. If he started dating you at 38 yo then he's always been attracted to younger women... Perhaps he just got to a point where his attraction to you wasn't there anymore and be wanted to have that in another girl. That would explain why he let you go so easily. At least you found that out now and not 10 years from now when you're 43 and have way less options
PegNosePete Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 we have had our ups & downs but what relationship don't. Many relationships don't. At least, not until the end! I find that many people use this phrase to justify staying in a bad relationship for way too long. Sorry this is happening to you. But you need to think practically about it now. It is clearly over between you. Why would you even consider taking him back after he left you for a 22 year old? You need to sort out the house and sever ties with this guy. 2
Blanco Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 It's a big age gap, but so was the one between you two and you were together for nearly a decade. It's normal at this stage to want to dislike the girl or find fault in the new relationship. Truth is, at this point, the girl could be perfect for him and you'd still find flaws in the relationship because you perceive that relationship to be what's split the two of you apart.
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