loveiswar101 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 After a long texting conversation Friday to where she said she thinks Im awesome loves kissing me. etc etc But feels down the track she could never love or see a relationship with me even though she wants one, I have walked away. OH but she still wants to hang out FWB NO NO NO! Need some guidance here to stay strong.... 1
smudge21 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You stayed true to yourself. You know full well you can't be her mate, nor can you just be her f**k buddy. So many of us would just accept what they offer sometimes just to keep them in our lives, no matter how it hurts (me being one of them) always hoping and believing that if we're in their lives then eventually they'll be with us properly. The truth is, all we do is agree to their rules and jump through their hoops which in turn means they get their cake and eat it, often leading to them finding someone else. I can be certain this decision didn't come lightly and you've had your doubts (may even have some down the line) but keep reminding yourself why you did it. She wanted the milk but wasn't prepared to have the cow. I wish I had your strength... 4
salparadise Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Congratulations on standing up for yourself. Smudge said it very well. Let her go off and find another cake eater with no self-respect to service her while she prowls around for something worthy of her imaginary status. Well done. 4
AlexDominico Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 you deserve better bro, you sound like a nice genuine person who will have no problem finding a girl with a better personality and same life goals as you
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 So many of us would just accept what they offer sometimes just to keep them in our lives, no matter how it hurts (me being one of them) always hoping and believing that if we're in their lives then eventually they'll be with us properly. The truth is, all we do is agree to their rules and jump through their hoops which in turn means they get their cake and eat it, often leading to them finding someone else. I did accept Friday but after a few days of no contact I asked her last night before this thread if she wanted to catch up and she couldn't be bothered, all flaky and I realised she not interested and as hard as it was I just knew I couldn't keep going thinking it might lead to something. I'm a sucker like that. Glad I text "we couldn't be friends" its so logical but hurts a fair bit. Thanks for words of encouragement guys. I will soldier on. Just feel in same spot as last year after a 3 year relationship ended. That took a while to get over and put myself forward. Now this one...thank god it was only short term!
Erik30 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Good for you, you did the right thing. Sure, it hurts a lot right now but it would be way worse if you kept hanging out with her for a couple of months until she suddenly dumps you for some guy who she does want to be in a relationship with. Especially since she explicitely told you she wants a relationship, just not with you. She would still be out there looking for guys, while your feelings for her would grow stronger in the meantime. It's tough, but you did what you have to do.
smudge21 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 I did accept Friday but after a few days of no contact I asked her last night before this thread if she wanted to catch up and she couldn't be bothered, all flaky and I realised she not interested and as hard as it was I just knew I couldn't keep going thinking it might lead to something. I'm a sucker like that. Glad I text "we couldn't be friends" its so logical but hurts a fair bit. Thanks for words of encouragement guys. I will soldier on. Just feel in same spot as last year after a 3 year relationship ended. That took a while to get over and put myself forward. Now this one...thank god it was only short term! Just being friends is such rubbish as we only say it because we're often too scared to lose them and too afraid if we say no they'll walk anyway. The truth is, if they walk then they walk... they never cared or wanted us in the first place. I'm on 9 days now of not contacting this "friend" of mine and it's eating me up, but what's the alternative; carry on being there for her, trying to move things forward, getting days of no contact, making all the effort to go see her only to come back feeling lower than I did before. It's all messed up. It annoys me so much that I care this highly for someone who hasn't really done anything to warrant my attention, or affection. Why can't we just switch off when we can clearly see how wrong this all is. If these girls wanted us in their lives, then they would have us in their lives. It's tough walking away, but I feel it's the only option. I wish I'd got the chance to tell her that...but then again, what would be the point. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 "We can still be friends..." Or - How to repair the St Andreas Fault with a sticking plaster. 3
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 The truth is, if they walk then they walk... they never cared or wanted us in the first place. So right my friend. I'm with you 100%. 9 Days, keep it going my friend, this is break up no 2 in a calendar for me and finally got over the first and will no doubt get through this. Sure you will too..
Author loveiswar101 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 OMG! Nearly just did a random text..what was I thinking, she might like me but says there no relationship future. It was only a few months of dating, am I that needy, weak in looking for someone to spend time with. Being strong and thought just type here to ease the stupidity of it all.... 1
The Poster Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Good job. Whenever you have the urge to contact her, just come here and post what's on your mind. Many wonderful people here who are happy to listen and help. 2
Emilia Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 OMG! Nearly just did a random text..what was I thinking, she might like me but says there no relationship future. It was only a few months of dating, am I that needy, weak in looking for someone to spend time with. Being strong and thought just type here to ease the stupidity of it all.... Don't be too hard on yourself. Wanting companionship is human nature. It's quality you are after hence your moving on. 1
smudge21 Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 OMG! Nearly just did a random text..what was I thinking, she might like me but says there no relationship future. It was only a few months of dating, am I that needy, weak in looking for someone to spend time with. Being strong and thought just type here to ease the stupidity of it all.... Seriously right there with you... so tempted to make contact but I think mine is about wanting closure (which I know is silly) rather than being in limbo. At least yours told you full on that she never wanted anything more serious with you. You know the answer to your question, so stop asking it. Stay strong.
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