morecup Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 This will be our first meet-up. I asked her if 8pm is ok. She said that's too late for first meet-up. First I didn't understand why it's late, and why it's late because it's first date. And then later she said 5pm will be good. Isn't it normal to have a date at 8pm? Isn't 5pm rather unusual? And if it's 5pm, what will be good thing to do together? Dinner? Bar? Ice cream?
Shanex Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I like myself some coffee or drink after a work day, whatever you guys like. Ice cream seriously? If you live in Miami why not. 5pm..It's not unusual, it's upon your availabilities.
VintageWine Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 This will be our first meet-up. I asked her if 8pm is ok. She said that's too late for first meet-up. First I didn't understand why it's late, and why it's late because it's first date. And then later she said 5pm will be good. Isn't it normal to have a date at 8pm? Isn't 5pm rather unusual? And if it's 5pm, what will be good thing to do together? Dinner? Bar? Ice cream? Feel as if you're thinking way too much on this. Nothing wrong with having a date at 5pm, if it works for the both of you and the both of you aren't busy at the time, go for it. I think you guys should come up with what to do or you can come up with what to do, it is your date after all, see what you guys both enjoy doing and take it from there.
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Agree with everyone that you're completely overthinking this! Why are you trying to turn this into some sort of power struggle? You can either have a date with yourself at 8 or a date with this person at 5. Seems like a no-brainer. You have a date! You have a time! Yippee! Now work on a venue and an activity. Since you did the asking, you plan this first date. Ideally, pick something that you both like. (You should have some ideas from the conversations/exchanges you've had.) Whatever you pick should allow for plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. 4
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 BTW, how old are you? I had ice cream first dates in high-school and as a freshman in college. I haven't had that as a first date since. And now that it's winter, it would be even more...unusual.
Author morecup Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 OK Thank you everyone! I only had dates at 7 or 8. At this time the dating schedule is quite clear. Coffee or bar and leave at around 10. Is having a dinner too early at 5pm date? Or, coffee until 7pm and say bye when we are hungry?
VintageWine Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 OK Thank you everyone! I only had dates at 7 or 8. At this time the dating schedule is quite clear. Coffee or bar and leave at around 10. Is having a dinner too early at 5pm date? Or, coffee until 7pm and say bye when we are hungry? oh, my god. Stop! LOL! Dude, talk to her, everyone has different ideas of a first date or whatever. You need to talk to her about this, see where her interest lies in and if you guys have common ground and take it from there. Personally I enjoy going to a nice cafe and with a walk around town afterwards. Cafes are fun cause it puts me in my zones of being a social butterfly over a nice cup of coffee. I don't like dinners as a first date for me personally
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You can meet for coffee or drinks. Have a restaurant reservation or some other activity planned in case you both wish to extend the date. No need for rigid timelines! 1
Wewon Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 What day of the week? 5 pm during the work week would be a bit of a hassle , you're basically racing to your meet up. During the weekend its a bit more reasonable.
TXGuy Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I think she is looking at this as a 'meet-up' rather than a date. Basically a quick meeting to verify you are something close to your photos, whether you can carry on a conversation and to see if there is any initial chemistry. She likely suggested 5pm so she will have time to go on a real date with someone who has already passed this initial screening at 7 or 8. Don't take it personally. Some people don't think it is advisable to have a first meet/date on a Friday or Saturday night anyway. Why waste a prime night on someone you don't know. But 5 is an awkward time. A little too late for coffee. A little too late for drinks. You can try to come up with something that works for you, but don't try too hard. If you don't like the fact she downgraded the date, you can simply cancel. It all depends on how many other options you have (in general, not just for Friday). ETA: Oops. It isn't necessarily on Friday after all. If it is during the week, then it isn't so bad. Though 5 pm is a bit hard for most working people to make. 1
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 How did she downgrade the date? They haven't even agreed on an activity yet?
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 OK Thank you everyone! I only had dates at 7 or 8. At this time the dating schedule is quite clear. Coffee or bar and leave at around 10. Is having a dinner too early at 5pm date? Or, coffee until 7pm and say bye when we are hungry? This isn't really a "date" though, is it. It's a first "meet" which should be low key and casual. Like coffee (boring) or ice cream. Something low key. 5:00 is a much more appropriate time for a first meet IMO. The first meet is simply to gauge attraction to determine if you want to go on a *date*. If you do, then make a date, and take her to dinner at 8:00.
SwordofFlame Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Who gets out at 5pm from work these days? I live in NYC. Most people work are still at work at that time.
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) TXguy, 5:00 is not too late for a drink. Ever heard of Happy Hour? Most HH's don't start until 5. Edited February 29, 2016 by katiegrl
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Unless, y'all are planning to date the OP, stop complaining about her 5 pm request! That's when she's available.
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Unless, y'all are planning to date the OP, stop complaining about her 5 pm request! That's when she's available. I know seriously. OP, chill you are way over-thinking this. And lower your expectations. This is a first meet, not a date. 1
TXGuy Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 TXguy, 5:00 is not too late for a drink. Ever heard of Happy Hour? Most HH's don't start until 5. Agreed. I meant to write 5pm was a bit too early for drinks (at least for me). Despite not drinking right now, my brain must be fuzzy (that typo as well as somehow reading into the OP that he was talking about Friday night). I think I need to keep lurking and hold off on typing until that is cleared up.
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Agreed. I meant to write 5pm was a bit too early for drinks (at least for me). Despite not drinking right now, my brain must be fuzzy (that typo as well as somehow reading into the OP that he was talking about Friday night). I think I need to keep lurking and hold off on typing until that is cleared up. No...keep posting! It gets easier, I promise, and even seasoned long time posters make typos and mis-read things sometimes. Keep 'em coming! Interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions!
Chris2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 OP, would 6pm work? I'm having a similar situation. I think I might be overthinking too. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/571669-meet-just-meet
Randomlyrandomme Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 When I worked at 4 or 6 AM jobs, I was in @ 700
angel.eyes Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 OP, would 6pm work? I'm having a similar situation. I think I might be overthinking too. Honestly, the OP is available at 5 pm. Why would he start nitpicking about 5 vs. 6 pm? How about 5:15 pm? Is the goal a date and possibly a repeat? Or to win some imaginary argument? I think this is why some struggle so much. 2
Randomlyrandomme Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I think she is looking at this as a 'meet-up' rather than a date. Basically a quick meeting to verify you are something close to your photos, whether you can carry on a conversation and to see if there is any initial chemistry. She likely suggested 5pm so she will have time to go on a real date with someone who has already passed this initial screening at 7 or 8. . Totally. So many girls are hooking up so much they double book every day. And even though they hook up with a new guy everyday, she's still really picky so she makes time to screen you. She does this allll the time.
Miss Peach Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 If you both can make it I don't see anything wrong with meeting at 5. For me personally I have to go to work early so I don't like meetings or dates that run late on the week nights. If you haven't met in person, I agree this is probably more of a first meet to see if you two might click. A lot of people dislike being trapped I long dates in case you two don't click so I would just go with something low key that could be extended. Something like coffee or a drink somewhere it would be easy to take a walk or walk to dinner would be good. Also, I see the attitude a lot on LS that if she won't do a marathon date them she's not interested.This is totally not true. Often I plan a certain amount of time for a date. I have other things going on in my life. I might be really interested but just want tops etchings and take care of other things with my limited free time. Often I don't agree to a second date when a guy pushes my boundaries on this.
Chris2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I didn't read the whole thread. I thought it was because of work or something, but sounds like OP you're available 5pm? If so, why not at that time?
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