beachlover966 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Me and this guy have been seeing each other for almost a year and he told me that he just wants to be friends and he didn't want to be in a relationship with me a month ago but lately it seems like he likes me more than a friend. Should I ask him again if he wants to commit?
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Me and this guy have been seeing each other for almost a year and he told me that he just wants to be friends and he didn't want to be in a relationship with me a month ago but lately it seems like he likes me more than a friend. Should I ask him again if he wants to commit? How is he acting that makes you think he wants more than a friendship? Perhaps what he wants is *friends with benefits*? No definitely do not ask him again if he wants to commit! 1
Author beachlover966 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 How is he acting that makes you think he wants more than a friendship? Perhaps what he wants is *friends with benefits*? No definitely do not ask him again if he wants to commit! He has flirting with me a lot and I don't want to get any mixed signals.
smackie9 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 kategirl nailed it. You accepted his "lets be friends" without a fuss so he is assuming FWB could be in the cards......don't fall for it and stop hanging out with him.....he is just wasting your time. 3
Redhead14 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Me and this guy have been seeing each other for almost a year and he told me that he just wants to be friends and he didn't want to be in a relationship with me a month ago but lately it seems like he likes me more than a friend. Should I ask him again if he wants to commit? Absolutely not! It's been a year. The issue has been addressed and he's told you he wants to be friends. So treat him like a friend. Tell him you want a long-term committed relationship for yourself. Take sex off the table, go out to lunch with him once in a while and tell him you will be dating other people. If he wants to advance things to the next level, he will need to demonstrate that to you. Don't give him his cake and let him eat it too. If you are content with a friends with benefits scenario, fine. Stick with it but don't expect more than that. This guy knows you want more, so he will try to show you more because he's happy with the way things are, but he's not all in and he knows it. He wants to keep you around until he finds the next best thing. Don't string yourself along. Edited February 29, 2016 by Redhead14 3
Shanex Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 How did you know each other? Work? Mutual friends, Acquaintances? Online dating? Other? It's pretty important to know as to how we can answer your question. Until your reply, I will say that if you have been friends for a year, regardless of how you met, is probably a bit late on him to be more than a friend... what are his intentions?
Author beachlover966 Posted February 29, 2016 Author Posted February 29, 2016 How did you know each other? Work? Mutual friends, Acquaintances? Online dating? Other? It's pretty important to know as to how we can answer your question. Until your reply, I will say that if you have been friends for a year, regardless of how you met, is probably a bit late on him to be more than a friend... what are his intentions? We know each other from school and though some mutual friends. He just wants to be friends and he told me a month ago that he isn't interested in being in a relationship with me.
katiegrl Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 We know each other from school and though some mutual friends. He just wants to be friends and he told me a month ago that he isn't interested in being in a relationship with me. Listen to him and move on. At most he is *grooming* you to be an occasional FWB, which is definitely not in your best interests. 4
Shanex Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) We know each other from school and though some mutual friends. He just wants to be friends and he told me a month ago that he isn't interested in being in a relationship with me. We often discuss the 'friendzone' on these forums, the problem with a guy who doesn't make his move soon, or at least sooner than a year is the lady see him as a friend. And the guy too. If it's clear he doesn't want a relationship we have yet another guy who wants a FWB or occasional hookups with you. You mentioned about school so I assume you guys are young. But don't do this if that's not what you're looking for atm. Also, hooking up with friends while its common is not a great idea... and can ruin the friendship. Edited February 29, 2016 by Shanex 2
blackcat777 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 One of the worst positions you can put yourself in, if you want a committed relationship, is mistakenly believing that a guy who doesn't want to commit will suddenly change his mind and commit. Women communicate in very complex layers; however, men are straight and to the point. If a man says he doesn't want a relationship, that is what he means. There is no other meaning, no other hope, and if you want more, you're setting yourself up for major heartbreak by sticking around with a guy who doesn't want what you want. It might hurt now, but it will hurt more the longer you stick around. Cut contact and allow yourself to be available for a guy who DOES want to give the sun and moon to a wonderful girlfriend. 2
AMJ Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 The only way you can find out for sure, is to cut off all contact and see how he responds. You disappear, he comes crawling back...you then have the ability to set the terms of a new relationship. But to carry on the way you're going with no commitment on his end..nothing you can do will change his mind. You gotta ditch him. 2
loveiswar101 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Wow, in exactly the same spot as I type this...Got to laugh as I always thought it only every happened to me. I'm on the male side though. Mine says she wants a relationship but can't seeing it working and not sure if love is on the cards (big talk even though it's only been 3-4 months), BUT she wants to see me, hangout, have dinners, drink wine, watch movies, have fun, loves kissing me and thinks im awesome. I was falling for her and the signals she gave justified something might grow!!! But no, damn no, Im trying my hardest to walk away, we text everyday until last week but once she told me that I feel gutted and have replied with short messages back. I know it going to kill me to walk away from this one, PLEASE FOLLOW MY LEAD. WALK AWAY... it will only hurt more down the track when he totally moves on! 3
iphone_user1 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Wow, in exactly the same spot as I type this...Got to laugh as I always thought it only every happened to me. I'm on the male side though. Mine says she wants a relationship but can't seeing it working and not sure if love is on the cards (big talk even though it's only been 3-4 months), BUT she wants to see me, hangout, have dinners, drink wine, watch movies, have fun, loves kissing me and thinks im awesome. I was falling for her and the signals she gave justified something might grow!!! But no, damn no, Im trying my hardest to walk away, we text everyday until last week but once she told me that I feel gutted and have replied with short messages back. I know it going to kill me to walk away from this one, PLEASE FOLLOW MY LEAD. WALK AWAY... it will only hurt more down the track when he totally moves on! You are kicking out a girl like that and I'm looking for one like her. Crazy world LOL Edited February 29, 2016 by iphone_user1
loveiswar101 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You are kicking out a girl like that and I'm looking for one like her. Crazy world LOL Sorry to hijack post...but if she can't see us working and can't see her loving me. Explain to me how it can work...im GUTTED...I really liked the woman. BUT it takes two to tango and she not dancing enough for me to get up of my chair. 1
Qboro90 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 This guy isn't going to change his mind. If a guy is attracted to you and even likes you just a little bit, he will leave every possible door open in case he decides he wants to give it a shot or more likely, try to sleep with you. The fact that this guy came out and told you be wasn't interested in a relationship with you coupled with the fact you and him have not hooked up or had anything going on physically is just definite proof that he's not interested at all and won't even want to have you as a booty call/fwb. Which he probably could do without much effort I'm assuming. Pretty obvious that he knows you like him if he got to the point where he needed to tell you what he did. So if he knows a girl likes him, he could've led you on and said "I'm not trying to be in a serious relationship right now, I can't offer you anything more than just casual fun" . You might be the kind of girl who saw that as hope he might change his mind if he spends enough time with you and likes it, therefore you start sleeping with him. The fact that he didn't exploit this at all... Sorry to be blunt, is just undeniable evidence that he's not interested in anything with you and doesn't have a romantic attraction towards you Put the slim hopes and best case scenario "he might change his mind " thoughts behind you. Spend your time focusing on other opportunities because this one isn't there 1
Recommended Posts