memomma Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I've had the same neighbors for seven years. The man owns the house and his girlfriend has lived with him there for the majority of the time. Over the years this man has told me numerous times during our conversations that he was not in love with this woman. He said those words just in the course of the conversation......not making a play at me. We have alway just been neighbors. There has been an undercurrent of attraction but out of respect for my marriage and his relationship with this woman we've never openly acknowledged the interest we had in one another. I have filed for divorce and have been making plans to move to another state. That decision happened months ago and had nothing whatsoever to do with my neighbor. Two weeks ago this man asked me how long did he have. He said he would really like to take me out to lunch or to dinner. Long story short.....we've met a few times and have realized that we have so much in common it's uncanny. We are so comfortable with one another that it seems like maybe this was meant to be. Corny....I know......but true. I've been extremely happy since getting to know this guy on a more personal level. So he has asked his girlfriend to move out. Today she told me "I thought you were my friend"......now we've been neighbors but I'm not sure I'd say we were actually friends. More like acquaintances.....I was friends with her boyfriend.......that's who I talked with......not her. So like now I'm the person who stole this guy away from her. She told him she saw it coming. So I'm wondering to myself......and you did nothing......why? I mean.......female neighbor......boyfriend talks to her ALL the time......she's filed for divorce.....he's weeding her garden....literally....where was she at? I think she has a responsibility in the fact that she knew he had lost interest but she just sat by passively and allowed a relationship to develop. I mean this happened in our front yard...we weren't sneaking around to see one another. We just talked ALL the time. Anyway.....in her mind I'm the other woman who stole him away. I'm just not buying that and all the guilt that goes along with it.
BoatingBabe Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 oh yeah, you're the one to blame and her SO has NOTHING to do with it? Give me a break. What is it with women. When this has happened to me, I never chased down the OW...I was infuriated with the person who made a commitment to me....and ended it.
Author memomma Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 I forgot to mention that after he told her to move out.........she cut his grass. They have a BIG yard. No way would I have been out there with that lawn mower after being told my boyfriend wanted to date his neighbor. Not this Italian girl.
newbby Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I understand you not wanting to take the blame and nor should you. Dont make the mistake of throwing the blame back at her though. I mean blame her for blaming you but dont blame her for not stopping things or for mowing the lawn.
Author memomma Posted June 13, 2005 Author Posted June 13, 2005 You're right. I was being both sarcastic and cocky. It isn't fair for me to judge her actions or how she chooses to deal with this situation. I guess the whole thing is so weird.......two weeks ago......none of this had happened. I'm simply frustrated by the lack of communication all the way around. My husband refuses to acknowledge the divorce papers and I'm concerned that the sheriff will serve papers if he doesn't contact the attorney. I have three kids here at home.....two actually......and I don't want them to deal with all this. I thought it could be done in a way that was less traumatic. Guess maybe not.......anyway.......you're right. She's hurting and I have no business belittling her feelings.
newbby Posted June 13, 2005 Posted June 13, 2005 I hope everything works out for you with the minimum amount of trauma. These things never run completely smoothly, too many emotions. Good luck and great happiness to you.
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