Mjm1014 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) I'm 28 years old, and currently am having a tremendous amount of trouble in my dating life. I'm currently in training (for my career), which keeps me away a lot. Since I recently switched companies, for the next 6-8 months I'll be living in different cities for training, wont have a car while I live out of hotels (about 2-3 months each place), and there is no saying where I'll be based once I'm done. Actually, I could be relocated a lot for the next 2-3 years until I build up seniority. This is very difficult because I feel like at 28 going on 29 I should really be getting out there to finally meet someone, and I feel like I'm wasting time by not dating. Do you think I should even bother trying to meet someone? I feel like this lifestyle really isn't fair to anyone (don't want to meet someone then have to move and put that on them)..what am I to do though? I really am not looking for a one night stand. This is REALLY getting me down, and I'm becoming very lonely.. Getting out of this career is not an option since I invested so much time and money-and the future job outlook looks great. My parents and friends keep putting down the pressure for me to meet someone, and it's something I actually really want..they just done understand though. If I do meet anyone, it always turns into long distance which doesn't seem to work (especially when I know I'll never be back). So if you were in my shoes, what would you do? Should I take myself out of the dating game until I'm in my mid 30's? Ladies, if a guy told you about this lifestyle, would you even bother trying with him, honestly? I know there isn't many options here, just looking for some input, especially if anyone is/has been in my situation..Thanks! Edited February 29, 2016 by Mjm1014
loveweary11 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Look to women in your training classes, at company meetings, etc. They will understand your lifestyle. I used to be in international sales before skype, so I know your lifestyle. Get to know women in each city as you go, Don't try to rush it. One of them might turn into something good Also, you're living a national life right now. View the country as one big thing and date wherever. You just need to get used to it...
Lady2163 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Tell your parents and friends what your schedule is like for the next 2-3 years. And explain to them you want to focus on your career. You want to build up some savings for a house or car. Then, if they keep on you, just smile and say, "not gonna happen, yet." But here's the bad news. I think you'll be able to date, but it is asking a lot to expect a woman to wait or be exclusive while you finish this journey. It is 2-3 years out of your life. Use it to better yourself and your position. Make sure you work out while at the hotels. My exH had a situation like that and he ate fast food every night and watched TV. He gained about 40 pounds that he didn't need.
smackie9 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You can sure find yourself a lady that just wants FWB or just a casual relationship with no expectations.
AMJ Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I had this schedule for about two years. In my case, I didn't sign up for it, lol. I was hired to do one job and then was basically forced to do another, which required constant traveling. The hotel and airline points are a great consolation prize! But yeah, it was totally impossible to date seriously with this type of schedule. I never knew how long I'd be living in each place, and I never knew when I'd be home. I dated one guy for a few months simply because he was accepting with my schedule and didn't mind only seeing me one night every three weeks. I didn't like him that much and ended things with him eventually. I dated a few other people briefly- one while living in a hotel for a month or two, but nothing serious. On the one hand, I started this job right at the same time I ended a relationship, so I wasn't really ready emotionally to date, though I felt the same as you- I just turned 30 and wanted a serious relationship. You should still try to date, because you never know, you might meet someone special who is understanding. But it's honestly just not going to work. In my company, no one had a healthy relationship, our job caused many to lose their relationships. Unless people dated within the company, which was the only way people actually found relationships. Maybe you'll meet someone through work!
bu2002 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You're 28, not 38. So I wouldn't panic about not being settled down with a wife just yet. You're right, getting traction started in a relationship is very difficlut in a relationship. I tried to date a professor once who was going to be on and off for the summer, and who works in a different city during the school year. It was really hard. I would continue to focus on yourself. Continue to develop skiil sets, read a lot and make the most of your travels. I'm sure there's an opportunity to meet others along the way and make some friends. You never know when one of them might be a female and see where it goes. You'll still want to keep your social skills sharpened. If you're living out of a hotel room, don't always stay stuck in your room. Make it out to a local Starbucks or local bar if you're not out with work associates. You never know who you'll strike up a conversation with. I also personally know that traveling for work can cause you to develop bad eating habits, so watch for that as well. I know you said getting out of this career isn't feasible right now, but ultimately, you need to decide what makes you happy now and in the future. Priorities shift as you get older. Good Luck.
red.velvet Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You sound like the male version of me. I can totally relate. I travel a lot for work as well. ive tried dating. When it's starts getting good it's time to leave. And since you leave in the early stages, it never seems to work out. Personally I think if I met a good guy, one who I saw a future with, I'd be willing to put in the work and effort to make it work. Issue is, both people have to understand the lifestyle and be willing to do what it takes to make it work. Not sure I've answered your question because I'm also trying to figure it out. I get it though.
contel3 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 I'm in the same boat. Changing my location pretty regularly. The way I see it: It's only three years. You're thirty and still have plenty of time to settle down. Even if you weren't moving around there would still be a big chance that you just don't meet anyone you really like. Think about your past relationships. Unless you're a serial monogamist it's very likely there were 1-3 years in between each relationship. So don't think about it as wasted time. If you really do meet someone you really like, you can still try long distance for a while. I know several couples who were long distance for 1-2 years and made it.
Recommended Posts