Jake200393 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Hi my names Jake I'm from the UK and I'm 22 nearly 23. I pride myself on being a gentlemen and treat women with respect and faithfulness. I'm dealing with a killer break up that's made me very suicidal. I was with my ex for 3 and a bit years. I met her as she lived in my in my little home town. She was a wild one trying to figure out her life but she was beautiful and still is and I'm not saying this out of love but everyone thinks she's beautiful. Smart as hell and body of a goddess. Funnie st person I've met in life. True ten out of ten. I always felt lucky and always showed her. Treating her all the time. I helped her focus on studies instead of going out on the booze and helped her focus on her future. She then decided she wanted to go to university and I obviously worried but had faith in our strength to stay together. We lasted 4 months together while she was at university but the last time I visited we went to a flat party and as I was talking to her friend I saw her dance with another guy very seductively. We had a little argument and I said we'll forget it but I think she needs to stop going out getting drunk so much and show that she cares about us. A week later and she's gone out getting drunk 3 or 4 times that week and I said I needed her to show me that her life isn't all about that. She then broke up with me by Skype saying that she doesn't see a future with me. I feel worthless. I obviously think about her all the time. Always think about her with someone else. She is perfect and that's what hurts the most. I've tried to figure out faults with her but there was non she's a true goddess. Ive had suicide help therapy and spoken to many people but I'm Truley tempted. I can go into our relationship in more detail but I'm getting bit upset right now. If there's anyone who can lend a helping hand i would be very grateful. Kind regards Jake
Jay1821 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Hey man suicide is something u can't ever take back it should never be an option especially over a woman we all have ups and downs in life but you just gotta keep pushing foward everything gets better I promise you my ex broke up with me to we dated for 7 yr ya it sucks when ur heart gets ripped out but everything happens for a reason when someone exits your life it's to make room for someone new in time everything gets better but if ur thoughts get really bad bro please seek help ASAP and if u need to vent keep letting it all out here we have all been through it and we are all here to help each other out with support 2
Jasejasejase Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Im also from the uk ... Gloucester ... And just posted my own message on here Im In the same place as you. Lost my soulmate and have thought of ending it. Had the crisis team out to me last week. Maybe it will help to share how you're feeling. I feel very alone ... I feel no one else is going through this ... I feel envious and jealous of every other person I see ... I don't sleep. I don't eat. Im off work. My mind goes crazy 24 hours a day ... I know she's akready online dating ... It kills me 2
sorano Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 everyone goes through this. Including myself. My story is also messed up. I got dropped in a heart beat. The pain is horrible. I know what you are going through. suicide is not the answer. You will only be a memory and everyone else will move on. you will loose. I hate loosing. I want to win. so its not an option for me. You have to make yourself better and show everyone that you are. start doing things that will improve you. gym, change career maybe and make more money, get into different hobbies, whatever. its not easy. I struggle myself. Get back out there and beat this emotion. Try to fight it and slay it. Get out there man. Use the pain you have now, and turn it into something positive. You will be shocked on how this negative energy we have can actually help us out and make us a better person. You got this. 1
CDJ Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 At the moment you are putting her on a pedestal and creating this myth of her perfection. It's normal and natural as part of your grieving process. Try this (it worked for me): make a list of all the things you didn't like about her, bad things she did to you, and ways she upset you. Share it in this thread if you want; might help to get outsider perspective on it. 1
smudge21 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 You invested so much time and energy into this girl fully believing it would be returned in the form of a long lasting loving relationship. It's never going to be easy when all the effort isn't returned, but sadly some people, no matter how we view, or better still, how we expect them to be, just simply are not nice people. You did all you could for her and should feel proud that you treated her with respect and love. This girl clearly has no idea what it's all about and therefore, doesn't deserve such treatment. To take all that you did and just throw it away, there's no excuse. What I'm saying is, you do need to knock her off that pedestal asap. You've done what a lot of people do and fallen in love with the person you want her to be, not who she really is. That love you feel for her has blinded you to the real her. As always though, that's not a bad reflection on you. When we're in love, we all view that person we love through rose-tinted love specs. We want to see them as the best as that means it's worth chasing and investing ourselves for them. You feel terrible and there is no easy way to get past these feelings, but eventually you will. I can look back and see a few women who have caused me to hurt and with each one I thought I'd never meet anyone better. They were perfection in my eyes. Move forward a few months, even a year or so, and these girls are nothing to me. I see them for who they are, the things they did and the way they treated me. I can honestly say that with 2 of them, I had a lucky escape. I'm currently walking away from another that I still think the world of and have invested so much for. Like you, I helped her so much and was always there for her. The pain that comes when you realise it was all for nothing truly hurts, but there's little I can do. Don't give up though. As bad as this feels now, you will be better and stronger later on, and you will at some point look back at this girl and how you are now and wonder why on earth you felt this bad over just one person. I'm willing to put money on that! Suicide is never ever the answer. 1
Author Jake200393 Posted March 1, 2016 Author Posted March 1, 2016 Thanks for the replies. It's hard to think of a bad thing about her. Seriously she's the girl everyone wants! How can you forget and get over someone if they are perfect :/ or near enough! Im scared of dating in the near future as I live in a small small town where it's hard to meet people just out and about. I've started chatting to some girls on facebook from around town but I can't seem to get any attraction back. I'm not trying to replace the ex as I don't want a relationship straight after but I wanted to go on a couple dares to show myself I still have it and that girls are attracted to me. It's hard knowing she's at uni probably getting with people a week after we split. Getting mental images of her doing stuff with other men. I know that's kind of normal to get horrible thoughts. If anyone else wants to express how they feel on here go ahead thank you for supporting me I think I'm going to need it for awhile 1
Satu Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Real love is very durable and resilient, very difficult to destroy. Many people don't know the difference between: Being attached Needing Wanting Craving Loving These are not different names for the same thing, but many people think they are. 2
ribeto Posted March 1, 2016 Posted March 1, 2016 Hey man suicide is something u can't ever take back I'm thinking everyone knows that.
Chi townD Posted March 2, 2016 Posted March 2, 2016 Thanks for the replies. It's hard to think of a bad thing about her. Seriously she's the girl everyone wants! How can you forget and get over someone if they are perfect :/ or near enough! Im scared of dating in the near future as I live in a small small town where it's hard to meet people just out and about. I've started chatting to some girls on facebook from around town but I can't seem to get any attraction back. I'm not trying to replace the ex as I don't want a relationship straight after but I wanted to go on a couple dares to show myself I still have it and that girls are attracted to me. It's hard knowing she's at uni probably getting with people a week after we split. Getting mental images of her doing stuff with other men. I know that's kind of normal to get horrible thoughts. If anyone else wants to express how they feel on here go ahead thank you for supporting me I think I'm going to need it for awhile You know what? You go on saying that she's beautiful and has a banging body and that she perfect in every way (even though she owes you for getting to University in the first place). But, I'm reminded of a picture I once saw. It was a picture of a supermodel in a bikini and the caption read "Here's reality. Somewhere on this planet, there is a guy that is sick and tired of her bullsh*t". You might think that it's hard to think of her in a bad light. But, you just might remember how you felt went she was dancing seductively with another guy right in front of you? How would she have felt if you did that to her? Dude, your problem is that you put her up on a pedestal and that is the worst place to place a girl. When you place a girl on a pedestal, you're placing her higher than yourself. And sooner or later they're going to realize that they are looking down on you and that's when they know they can step all over you. MOST girls would rather be by your side. As your partner. As your equal, your partner in crime, your better half. Walking through this life together hand in hand and side by side. The way I see it, she used you. She used your strength and your focus to keep HER focused on her goals. You helped get her where she is right now. And four months later; after you've helped her, you were no longer needed. I know what I wrote probably isn't helping you. But, I want you to take off those rose tinted glasses. You need to focus on the ONLY thing you have control over and that's you! Suicide is never the answer. It's time to focus on YOUR goals and YOUR dreams. You need to go no contact with your. Block her on Facebook. Sad part is, I seriously doubt if she would even notice. You need to start making positive changes in your life. Go to school or go back to school. Go to the gym, get new hobbies. Travel! See the world! Pick a place you've always wanted to see, plan and save. Then GO! The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good and adventurous life. 2
Author Jake200393 Posted March 2, 2016 Author Posted March 2, 2016 You know what? You go on saying that she's beautiful and has a banging body and that she perfect in every way (even though she owes you for getting to University in the first place). But, I'm reminded of a picture I once saw. It was a picture of a supermodel in a bikini and the caption read "Here's reality. Somewhere on this planet, there is a guy that is sick and tired of her bullsh*t". You might think that it's hard to think of her in a bad light. But, you just might remember how you felt went she was dancing seductively with another guy right in front of you? How would she have felt if you did that to her? Dude, your problem is that you put her up on a pedestal and that is the worst place to place a girl. When you place a girl on a pedestal, you're placing her higher than yourself. And sooner or later they're going to realize that they are looking down on you and that's when they know they can step all over you. MOST girls would rather be by your side. As your partner. As your equal, your partner in crime, your better half. Walking through this life together hand in hand and side by side. The way I see it, she used you. She used your strength and your focus to keep HER focused on her goals. You helped get her where she is right now. And four months later; after you've helped her, you were no longer needed. I know what I wrote probably isn't helping you. But, I want you to take off those rose tinted glasses. You need to focus on the ONLY thing you have control over and that's you! Suicide is never the answer. It's time to focus on YOUR goals and YOUR dreams. You need to go no contact with your. Block her on Facebook. Sad part is, I seriously doubt if she would even notice. You need to start making positive changes in your life. Go to school or go back to school. Go to the gym, get new hobbies. Travel! See the world! Pick a place you've always wanted to see, plan and save. Then GO! The best revenge you can get is to lead a damn good and adventurous life. I understand what you mean. It's hard at the moment I lost my job at a hotel as a personal trainer two days before she broke up with me so I've been jobless this past month while dealing with the break up. An old friend has offered me a job at our local taxi service which I'm now going through with. It's not the most glamorous job but it's good money if I put the work in. I'm also dealing with the fact I have to move out from my family home (mothers home) as she can't afford the rent so I'm dealing with the fact ill have to be on my own in 3 weeks. I'm hoping once I start this job I can save up for something. I don't have many close friends and every out of country trip I've been on was with her so I'm not to sure how to go on holiday on my own lol I've started smoking again which is killing my energy so I think I need to stop that to lift my mood. I'll post more later as I've woken up in a bad place and all your support is great fully appreciated
Author Jake200393 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 Feeling very low today. Haven't stooped thinking about her since I woke up. I had a private job today gardening and I thought about her non stop! I'm in this weirs place where I have all stages in one horrible mess im in denial one moment. Angry the next. Sad then denial. Then angry and excepting of the situation all in a vicious messed up bundle.
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