Hags94 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 A bit long but please read So about a year ago I started dating my ex gf. Everything was so amazing. We both liked all the same things and were very attracted to each other. It was bliss. Throughout the first month of our relationship, she would always be on too of me, always want to kiss, cuddle, hold her in her sleep. We would shower together, have sex, make out, it was great. However as time went on, she changed. She no longer had sex with me. She would no longer shower with me, and she wouldn't even change in front of me because she felt like I was looking at her like a piece of meat. She would take baths, and I would just sit next to her and she would have the shower curtain closed in case I tried to look. I found out she had been touched innapropriately when she was little which made her uncomfortable but also found out she had sex with her previous 2 boyfriends no problem. Even when we go out, she never seemed to want to hold my hand or hold me when we took pictures. Towards the last months of our relationship, she wouldn't even want to cuddle or send the night anymore. This really hurt me. It made me feel worthless and made me feel.like she didn't love me. I mean not even wanting to hold my hand? I had to like ask her to. There were even sometimes all I got was 1 kiss goodnight the whole day. If we were watching tv at her place and her fried s were around, she just sat on the other end of the couch. It hurt me so much and I would confront her about it and about the whole sex thing. She said I was "obsessed" and made her uncomfortable. She eventually broke up with me. 3 weeks later, she met a guy at a party, and they started dating. My friend has her on snapchat and I would see pics of her and him cuddling and stuff. My friend also folows him on instagram and sees pics of her and him at Disney (that was our thing) and she is always holding him tight in pictures or holding his hand. She also changed when she met him. Stuff she didn't seem to like before, she does now because he does and she claims she always has. They've been dating for 3 months now I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. I told her she was beautiful everyday and just wanted to she intimacy with her. To have such a beautiful girl who I was deep in love with and her not wanting to do anything really hurt me. She doesn't deserve my love after all that, yet I find myself wanting her back and missing her so much. She would also get mad if I ever wanted to go to the gym or go out with my buddies if I was hanging out with her. I didn't do it if we had plans but if we were just watching tv or whatever and wanted to do that she got mad. She said I never prioritized her and she would always threaten with a "were done" and I would have to end up apologizing I'm so confused and could use advice 1
Satu Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 It's not about you, it's about her. She does what she does because of who she is. Don't waste your time trying to understand her. Seek an understanding of yourself instead. "Know thyself." Self-knowledge trumps everything. Take care. 1
sorano Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Yup. Another feeling I can relate to. My gf broke up with me one month ago. I felt that in our relationship, it was 70/30 at times. Me pulling 70%. I was the mushy guy, the nice guy, the gentleman. I would have done anything for her. Thinking back, she would always say how she hated my mustang, hated bodybuilding, didnt want to do this, or that, and she had a little snappy attitude and get mad fast. sicilian. Before I met her, if someone told me a girl said that to them, I would have said, tell her to get lost and go find yourself another woman. Even with her being like that, I still miss her. I still miss being with her and I do still love her. Its crazy. I wish I had the answers 2
Redhead14 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 A bit long but please read So about a year ago I started dating my ex gf. Everything was so amazing. We both liked all the same things and were very attracted to each other. It was bliss. Throughout the first month of our relationship, she would always be on too of me, always want to kiss, cuddle, hold her in her sleep. We would shower together, have sex, make out, it was great. However as time went on, she changed. She no longer had sex with me. She would no longer shower with me, and she wouldn't even change in front of me because she felt like I was looking at her like a piece of meat. She would take baths, and I would just sit next to her and she would have the shower curtain closed in case I tried to look. I found out she had been touched innapropriately when she was little which made her uncomfortable but also found out she had sex with her previous 2 boyfriends no problem. Even when we go out, she never seemed to want to hold my hand or hold me when we took pictures. Towards the last months of our relationship, she wouldn't even want to cuddle or send the night anymore. This really hurt me. It made me feel worthless and made me feel.like she didn't love me. I mean not even wanting to hold my hand? I had to like ask her to. There were even sometimes all I got was 1 kiss goodnight the whole day. If we were watching tv at her place and her fried s were around, she just sat on the other end of the couch. It hurt me so much and I would confront her about it and about the whole sex thing. She said I was "obsessed" and made her uncomfortable. She eventually broke up with me. 3 weeks later, she met a guy at a party, and they started dating. My friend has her on snapchat and I would see pics of her and him cuddling and stuff. My friend also folows him on instagram and sees pics of her and him at Disney (that was our thing) and she is always holding him tight in pictures or holding his hand. She also changed when she met him. Stuff she didn't seem to like before, she does now because he does and she claims she always has. They've been dating for 3 months now I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. I told her she was beautiful everyday and just wanted to she intimacy with her. To have such a beautiful girl who I was deep in love with and her not wanting to do anything really hurt me. She doesn't deserve my love after all that, yet I find myself wanting her back and missing her so much. She would also get mad if I ever wanted to go to the gym or go out with my buddies if I was hanging out with her. I didn't do it if we had plans but if we were just watching tv or whatever and wanted to do that she got mad. She said I never prioritized her and she would always threaten with a "were done" and I would have to end up apologizing I'm so confused and could use advice You are confused because SHE is confused. Women/men who have been sexually abused have a distorted/confused/mixed view of the opposite sex and relationships. Depending on the type and extent of abuse, the person becomes emotionally stunted/held back and remain locked emotionally to the time that the abuse occurred. It leaves a deep scar of shame even if they were very young. They will either completely shun sexual contact or jump from one sexual partner to another. They often do sexual things because "that's what they are expected to do" but they don't really want to. They will do it for a while, until they just can't anymore. You've lived the scenario with her that the previous guys had with her and this new guy as well. 1
theredpill Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 OP, the key thing is to love you first - only when you love and value yourself 100% can the right people come into your life. Never take **** off anyone, including your girl - you warn them once the first time that respect is key and if it happens again, they're done - especially in the beginning.
Author Hags94 Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 The problem is I keep thinking that shes having sex with this new guy all the time because I would think that if she wasnt, he would have broken up with her already
LydiaLong Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Is it possible that you became a little too clingy and that turned her off? Too clingy turns me off.
Author Hags94 Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 I was never clingy. I never held her back. If she wanted to go out with friends or whatever, I never challenged her. I never got jealous when she hung out with guy friends, and I never tried to control her
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) OP, the key thing is to love you first - only when you love and value yourself 100% can the right people come into your life. Never take **** off anyone, including your girl - you warn them once the first time that respect is key and if it happens again, they're done - especially in the beginning. ^^^This....and IMO it sounds like she simply lost her attraction and interest. Reading your post and how you interacted with her, from beginning to end, combined with the fact she felt you were "obsessed" and felt like a "piece of meat," ....I suspect you were too intense for her, too demanding, sexually and otherwise.... and it was too much (for her) and pushed her away. I would love to hear her side. Since she obviously had no problem being extremely sexual with you when you started dating, and enjoying it! .... it really does appear she simply lost attraction/interest for a variety of reasons, which is her prerogative. I know you are hurt and probably have regrets about certain things, but she has moved on, and as hard as that will be, I would strongly suggest you do as well. Sorry Edited February 28, 2016 by katiegrl
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