losangelena Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 To be honest specially after making a male "equipment" joke reference telling a man he has great equipment is not something I want to or need to hear. It's like a man telling a woman how big her rack is when she does not wears a 32DD bra Even less are the men that only have average or smaller then average equipment. It will come across as why is she lying to me. I say actions speak louder than words. When I was dating my wife from time to time she would make me an egg sandwich on our commute to work. Remembering this still brings flood of good memories. No better way to make a man special is to do things for him. Doing is always better then talking. I've found that compliment, when genuinely given, is appreciated. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
carhill Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Since I'm a bit old-fashioned and do generally make a special grooming effort when going out to socialize, I've enjoyed the occasional compliment, most often given by an older friend's wife when she opines, 'My, don't you look handsome this evening' in that inimitable Brooklyn accent. The most common compliments I receive are on work product for friends but I tend to separate out skill set from personal in the 'like' department, though I do appreciate the recognition. It's the more personal stuff like from my friend's wife that I remember. 1
alphamale Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 men like the same types of compliments that women do 1
Emilia Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 men like the same types of compliments that women do I was about to say. I compliment men when they wear something nice or get a great haircut or pull a look I want to see more often or a colour that compliments their eyes or skin tone. In terms of internal stuff, I try to be specific again like 'you handled that difficult customer well' or 'you can be so understanding', etc. Just genuine reference to specific events. The way I'd like to be complimented. 1
spriggan2 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) It's not about what you say it's about the way you say and describe it I think. So there's ways to call someone a nice guy and differentiate from the stigma of the stereotype. I gush A Lot. So in order to not nauseate my ex gf with compliments I had to make sure I was very insightful and deep and real with what I was saying, so it was something she could connect with and register. I had to actually be thoughtful. There's this quote by Pearl S Buck. "Praise out of season, or tactlessly bestowed, can freeze the heart as much as blame." For my gf it was the opposite. She never went out of her way to compliment me but sometimes did inspite of herself. Was always amusing and gratifying. Anyway. Compliments that I liked: You look hot (said begrudgingly) You're so sweet (said begrudgingly) You're so silly (said with endearment) Whoa, that's fairly big (said with subtle shock) You're going to ruin me for other guys (said with uncertainty) I let a good guy go (said with regret) Edited February 28, 2016 by spriggan2 1
basil67 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I imagine it's been awhile since your husband has been subjected to the ruthless dating scene, and its lingo. It's more an issue of experience than confidence. I've worked with women and heard how they use the phrase. It's basically a disqualification of a man as a sexual threat. Women use this on men that they don't consider an option. It's friendzone material. When I would hear them describe a man as such, I would genuinely pity him. The women that I work with are mostly early 20s, perhaps a woman looking to settle down is after a nice-guy. But as far as regarding a man as a sexual being, the 'nice-guy' compliment sucks. Ah, but the thread is about a married woman and her compliments to her husband who (I assume) has also been off the dating scene for a while too. Given that he is also in much the same situation as my husband, he won't necessarily see the comment as a bad thing either. 2
Author mrs rubble Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 Ah, but the thread is about a married woman and her compliments to her husband who (I assume) has also been off the dating scene for a while too. Given that he is also in much the same situation as my husband, he won't necessarily see the comment as a bad thing either. I think it may be a geographical thing too!! Kiwi's and Aussies are very genuine, up-front type people, we're more likely to tell it as it is rather than "nice" it up to save face or spare feelings, like they do elsewhere. Thank you everyone for your input, there are some great suggestions and a few giggles in there too!! 1
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