mrs rubble Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Just reading the "nice guy" thread. I've often said "oh he's such a nice guy" and meant it as he is a nice guy- a good egg, not a pushover, I'd call a pushover a pussy or whimpy.....but it seems some guys think being called a "nice guy" means that we are either referring to them as weak and not manly or that we're usually attracted to a guy with 17 warrants out for his arrest, an alcohol problem, a drug dealing operation and a stolen BMW. Should we be saying "You're such a strong man with great morals"??? "I love the way you treat me"??? etc. What is an acceptable compliment?? I don't want to end up making my man feel emasculated, by inferring the wrong thing.
basil67 Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 I don't know if this translates, but in Australia the term "he's a good bloke" seems to work. 1
basil67 Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 I think a compliment is also better if it acknowledges a certain trait. For example, "I really appreciate when you do X" is better than a bland "you're a nice guy". Or "I sometimes hear women complain about their guys and it just makes me appreciate you all the more" 1
Shanex Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Compliments are best not overused. Personally I like when it's about my personality. Ill accept a compliment about my eyes or how great I might be in bed too though. 1
Redhead14 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Just reading the "nice guy" thread. I've often said "oh he's such a nice guy" and meant it as he is a nice guy- a good egg, not a pushover, I'd call a pushover a pussy or whimpy.....but it seems some guys think being called a "nice guy" means that we are either referring to them as weak and not manly or that we're usually attracted to a guy with 17 warrants out for his arrest, an alcohol problem, a drug dealing operation and a stolen BMW. Should we be saying "You're such a strong man with great morals"??? "I love the way you treat me"??? etc. What is an acceptable compliment?? I don't want to end up making my man feel emasculated, by inferring the wrong thing. "I like how you ____ with me". "I like it when you ____". "I love how you handle ____ situations/people". "He's a great guy because he _____". Be more specific and personal. Don't make a general statement and leave it to interpretation. Mention their strengths. 1
basil67 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I just asked my hubby if it would bother him if someone told him he was a nice guy. He did a "whatchoo talkin bout Willis?" face at me. I then had to explain about the 'nice guys finish last' thing and about being a pushover. He replied that while he is a nice guy, he certainly doesn't finish last and he's not a pushover. He said he's confident enough in himself to not think that a 'nice guy' compliment means anything other than he's a nice guy. 1
Author mrs rubble Posted February 28, 2016 Author Posted February 28, 2016 I just asked my hubby if it would bother him if someone told him he was a nice guy. He did a "whatchoo talkin bout Willis?" face at me. I then had to explain about the 'nice guys finish last' thing and about being a pushover. He replied that while he is a nice guy, he certainly doesn't finish last and he's not a pushover. He said he's confident enough in himself to not think that a 'nice guy' compliment means anything other than he's a nice guy. I think most Kiwi and Aussie guy's would be similar, generally men from our end of the world are ungroomed, outdoor loving, rough around the edges and would be unlikely to assume a "nice guy" is a pushover. 2
basil67 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I dunno.....I'm seeing a lot of grooming going on these days. Or perhaps it's just the inner city types But yes, I doubt that the average guy would read more into the comment than how it was intended. 2
smudge21 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I quite like the reverse compliment. You know, things like "you're nuts" or "you sweet crazy fool" (which I had recently). It's totally reverse of the things guys should say to girls, and it's funny too. That works better IMO because guys don't really need compliments as such, but we do need to know we're wanted and loved. 1
road Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 How about: Oh my I never saw one so big. Or that's the biggest one I ever saw. 1
joseb Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 How about: Oh my I never saw one so big. Or that's the biggest one I ever saw. No, that's too obvious. Better: "you're too big" 1
joseb Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) I dunno.....I'm seeing a lot of grooming going on these days. Or perhaps it's just the inner city types But yes, I doubt that the average guy would read more into the comment than how it was intended. Yes indeed... Is that Quinoa in my hipster goatee?! Actually I dislike being called a nice guy, for all the negative connotations it brings Edited February 28, 2016 by joseb 2
Lady2163 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I was about to say, "You're the best lover I've ever had". "I can't keep my mouth from your love muscle...." Give me a few minutes, they will get raunchier 1
basil67 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Yes indeed... Is that Quinoa in my hipster goatee?! Actually I dislike being called a nice guy, for all the negative connotations it brings I've always disliked being called a "young lady". Especially after I was old enough to have left school. And same, it's because of the judgment. I found that those who used the phrase would have expectations of me acting like a "lady".
Wewon Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I wonder why this particular one puzzles women so. Its not as though there aren't a ton of things that you can't say to women that won't be interpreted in some less than flattering way. I once knew a woman that was suspicious with the phrase, "You look nice today." yep, the word "today" took that statement from flattery to a back-handed compliment. Like in the other thread, calling a guy a "nice guy" is analogous to "you've got a great personality" or "you're great at math". At face value it sounds great, but I think that most women wouldn't find it reassuring that was said to them at the end of a date, especially one where she put in effort to be particularly attractive. 1
Jabron1 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I just asked my hubby if it would bother him if someone told him he was a nice guy. He did a "whatchoo talkin bout Willis?" face at me. I then had to explain about the 'nice guys finish last' thing and about being a pushover. I imagine it's been awhile since your husband has been subjected to the ruthless dating scene, and its lingo. He said he's confident enough in himself to not think that a 'nice guy' compliment means anything other than he's a nice guy. It's more an issue of experience than confidence. I've worked with women and heard how they use the phrase. It's basically a disqualification of a man as a sexual threat. Women use this on men that they don't consider an option. It's friendzone material. When I would hear them describe a man as such, I would genuinely pity him. The women that I work with are mostly early 20s, perhaps a woman looking to settle down is after a nice-guy. But as far as regarding a man as a sexual being, the 'nice-guy' compliment sucks.
road Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I've always disliked being called a "young lady". Especially after I was old enough to have left school. And same, it's because of the judgment. I found that those who used the phrase would have expectations of me acting like a "lady". And, what is wrong having manners and using them young lady?
road Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Yes to a man there is noting worse then getting rejected. And, as soon as a man hears: "You are" - his brain is in scan mode words such as handsome, hot, wonderful, strong. Words that will be complimenting him and her showing interest in him. As in: You are smart. As soon as a man hears "You are a" - his brain goes directly to danger Will Robinson, danger, because the words that follow "you are a" are always bad. As soon men hear "You are a nice man" the know they just have been shot down and given the kiss of death date wise.
William Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 As a reminder, this is a thread for men to list compliments they like, not comments or insults they don't like. No need to read minds. Simply list words and phrases which uplift and brighten your day. Thanks! 1
Jabron1 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I think guys just like feeling appreciated. I don't need compliments, but when a girl sends me a thank you text after a date, I think that is a really nice gesture. Little things like that mean quite a lot. 2
losangelena Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I've found that some iteration of "you've got a great penis and you really know how to use it," is generally very appreciated. 1
PogoStick Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Complimenting a man physically works just like a woman, "I love your hair, muscles in your arms, great smile, beautiful eyes, etc". Consider men's deep desire to be validated for being competent (an expert): He's so smart fixing the computer. He's the best salesman at work. His volleyball team is always humiliating the competition. *Men want to know that you think they are awesome. Brag about us to your friends, and do it in front of us. 1
road Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) I've found that some iteration of "you've got a great penis and you really know how to use it," is generally very appreciated. To be honest specially after making a male "equipment" joke reference telling a man he has great equipment is not something I want to or need to hear. It's like a man telling a woman how big her rack is when she does not wears a 32DD bra Even less are the men that only have average or smaller then average equipment. It will come across as why is she lying to me. I say actions speak louder than words. When I was dating my wife from time to time she would make me an egg sandwich on our commute to work. Remembering this still brings flood of good memories. No better way to make a man special is to do things for him. Doing is always better then talking. Edited February 28, 2016 by road 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 I've found most men I know to respond very well to anything genuinely meant, addressed personally to them, well-timed and meaningful. They're just as easy to please as we are, really 2
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