Jabron1 Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 For all of my friends and I, we found the exact opposite to be true. Most guys usually get their asses handed too then in their early 20s. They are immature, lack confidence, starting out / struggling to find a career, usually poor, doesn't have much game, etc. On top of the fact you are now "competing" against guys in their mid / late 20s and early 30s who has his crap together, confident, secure, more mature, money, etc. basically "more to offer" than you and has "game" to go along with it. Mid to late 20s / 30s (and beyond) for my friends and I is like shooting fish out of a barrel. Dating pool has never been this big or better. You have all women your age plus all the 20 somethings who once passed you by. Not to mention far less "competition" because young guys don't stand a chance and a lot of guys your age have either met the person they will marry or already have. Who in their right mind would wonder / question why a 23 year old woman would be more attracted to the 27 year old that is more interesting, charming and has a lot more to "offer" using the scenario above? You see that same sort of dynamic play out in the Animal Kingdom and as much as the girly men on TV say and articles you might read in Beta Male Monthly... Humans / Women aren't wired any different. If you are a guy struggling in mid / late 20s / 30s (and beyond), the problem is looking back at you in the mirror, it's not your available dating pool and most certainly not women. The problem is that most men don't have an understanding of their own value. And our heavily feminized society isn't in a rush to change that. A man reaches his peak in his mid 30s. That is when he has a great mix of looks, game, and assets. If more men had the perspective to properly assess the 21st century dating scene, they wouldn't be getting married and settling down to family life until they hit 40. Instead, most men settle down in their late 20s, before they've even reached their potential. Too many guys are complacent and just opt out of a ruthless dating scene at the first decent opportunity. 1
phineas Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 What about all the people who divorce in their 30s because they married too young and grew apart? As we get older there are less available people on the market, which is why it's difficult to find quality people. When I was younger there were more people available to date, sure, but not necessarily more quality people. One of my female friends showed me my competition on okcupid & pof a few yrs back. Nothing but over weight guys or thugs that looked like criminals in their pics. WTF? I swear if those guys were getting more dates than me........ I used to meet a lot of women from online in the 35-45 age range. I'd get dates, sex, but never actual dating. Just FWB's. They would continue to search online and try to keep me as an option or back burner'd and it didn't really pan out for them because I wasn't going to wait around for that. The truth of the matter is the majority of women out there in my age range have a long history of dating jerks. i'm somewhat good looking & was in great shape for my age at the time plus, i'm good in bed. so they kept me around. But I'm not a jerk. i'm the guy they think they should date but they keep looking for that "chemistry". Then when they eventually realize the majority of guys on the sites are like the above mentioned and decide i'm what they really want. Except i've usually lost interest by then. For me, it's a huge turn-off when a woman tries to back burner me or doesn't make an effort to spend time with me.
road Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 What about all the people who divorce in their 30s because they married too young and grew apart? As we get older there are less available people on the market, which is why it's difficult to find quality people. When I was younger there were more people available to date, sure, but not necessarily more quality people. I do not want to be harsh. It is not because there is less people in the dating market as we age. It is because all the good ones have already been taken. All the older ones that are left have their issues. And being older has not made those that are unattached realize they do not have what it takes to pull in someone: That is a 10 in the looks department. Body shape a tone to be a male underwear model or women's bikini model. Get someone with a career that will make their friends jealous. Get someone that make a 6 figure income. So combine being blind to their own issues, not willing to become flexible on other's issues, overinflated self worth on the dating market keeps them from accepting offers from others that would truly worship the ground that they walk on. Because they are not good enough and I deserve better.
katiegrl Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) road, you and AMJ are saying the same thing. Yes as you said, as we get older, all or most of the good ones are taken ..... and thus there are less *available* people on the market because of that (as AMJ said)..... Edited February 28, 2016 by katiegrl
deep_night Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 i prefer to be friends first... i want to feel that i like them for who they are, having had the time to interact with them without pressure and the complexity of sex.
Shining One Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 i prefer to be friends first... i want to feel that i like them for who they are, having had the time to interact with them without pressure and the complexity of sex.What exactly does "friends first" mean to you? I've had bad experiences with several women who wanted "friends first". They still wanted me to fulfill the traditional boyfriend roles: Taking them out, paying for things, providing emotional support, etc. 2
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 i prefer to be friends first... i want to feel that i like them for who they are, having had the time to interact with them without pressure and the complexity of sex. Then use findafriend.com instead. I can't imagine having much success on a dating site if you are informing potential suitors that you are looking for friends. Also, sex isn't an obligation if you go on a date with someone.
deep_night Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 What exactly does "friends first" mean to you? I've had bad experiences with several women who wanted "friends first". They still wanted me to fulfill the traditional boyfriend roles: Taking them out, paying for things, providing emotional support, etc. friends, as in not having the "dating" idea lingering above our heads. at least not for a while. treat each other, take each other out, and supporting each other like PEOPLE who appreciate each other do. and when you feel you are attracted to the person in question, go ahead and tell them, kiss them and invite them over :3
deep_night Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Then use findafriend.com instead. I can't imagine having much success on a dating site if you are informing potential suitors that you are looking for friends. Also, sex isn't an obligation if you go on a date with someone. i thought the topic wasnt for dating sites alone :/
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 (edited) friends, as in not having the "dating" idea lingering above our heads. at least not for a while. treat each other, take each other out, and supporting each other like PEOPLE who appreciate each other do. and when you feel you are attracted to the person in question, go ahead and tell them, kiss them and invite them over :3 That wouldn't work for me and if you read on this forum... There are millions of guys who have burned 100 times over with woman who friendzone and make a guy their gay best friend. Edited February 28, 2016 by EatYourVeggies
deep_night Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 Whatever gets you through the day. That wouldn't work for me and if you read on this forum... There are millions of guys who have burned 100 times over with woman who friendzone and make a guy their gay best friend. You are basically doing what people who date are worry about the label too much, if you ask me. nah, there are men out there who get as nervous with "dating" as i do. im a pretty good match with them :3 funnily i end up wanting these people way more than a fancy stranger i go on "dates" with.... these relationships ended up exclusive and i can assure you they never had a "gay friend" note.. seeing each other as humans instead of the OPPOSSITE SEX can work very well in the beginning. you just forget about agendas and get to really know a person, enjoy their company. not based on "yo, your meat looks good and your profile has good keywords, let's wear out fancy clothes and eat at a fancy restaurant while we behave nonchalantly while we worry about impressing each other"
EatYourVeggies Posted February 28, 2016 Posted February 28, 2016 nah, there are men out there who get as nervous with "dating" as i do. im a pretty good match with them :3 funnily i end up wanting these people way more than a fancy stranger i go on "dates" with.... these relationships ended up exclusive and i can assure you they never had a "gay friend" note.. seeing each other as humans instead of the OPPOSSITE SEX can work very well in the beginning. you just forget about agendas and get to really know a person, enjoy their company. not based on "yo, your meat looks good and your profile has good keywords, let's wear out fancy clothes and eat at a fancy restaurant while we behave nonchalantly while we worry about impressing each other" My way isn't for everyone and it's not the only way which works. I don't doubt there are lots of men who are okay with. As I said earlier, you see a ton of posts like them just didn't meet a girl like you. You'll be very popular here if you stick around. lol!
ff12343 Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 Not sure if other guys have experienced this but multiple times with 20 something year old girls they pull me in with their behavior, we talk, chat, sometimes hook up, then its like they were never into me to begin with and the lies start to fly. I'm really starting to believe there is no hope and I should get on a boat and sail away. Wow. That's IDENTICAL to my last one. crazy.
Larryville Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 *Haven't gone out with any crazy women. I'm pretty good at screening and following my instincts. I don’t understand why so many people talk about having so many bad dates. Like the above quote never had to deal with too many crazy women, never had any true bad meets… I screen carefully bottom line because I’m not rich, I refuse to piss a lot of money away going on countless dates. Good relationships don't come pre-packaged. We have to forge them ourselves. 5) Socially awkward men. Blurting out bizarre things in the conversation, interrupting me to grab a magazine and flip through it while I'm answering his question... This is something you can screen for…. Rude, stupid, selfish, racist, socially awkward, boring… I admit I did a few mistakes, but I am the one responsible for this. My mistakes: - not learning what my dealbreakers are - not being aware of that character traits are important to me - not taking my time in the dating process - not taking my time to get to know the person in front of me - jumping in a RS with both feet - not asking all questions I had to asks from the beginning - dwelling too much over the past - second guessing myself and my instincts - trying to please the men I was dating instead of looking at them to understand if I really liked them This was absolutely me long ago… I think anyone who says that everyone they meet is wrong because x y z, then they need to look at themselves, and how they are choosing the people they date. BINGO!
truth_seeker Posted February 29, 2016 Posted February 29, 2016 What exactly does "friends first" mean to you? I've had bad experiences with several women who wanted "friends first". They still wanted me to fulfill the traditional boyfriend roles: Taking them out, paying for things, providing emotional support, etc. "friends first" is a code for women who want to feel you out, to see if they like you.
Author contel3 Posted March 3, 2016 Author Posted March 3, 2016 This is totally off the current topic, but why the #### are there so many married people on dating sites???
Toodaloo Posted March 3, 2016 Posted March 3, 2016 To summarise what I have to put up with: 1) Guys with girlfriends (LOTS of them) 2) Guys who only want sex/perverts 3) People on the rebound 4) Moody, self-entitled, narcisistic, various forms of psychological disorders... I've met a few ones who were pretty nice, but the number is insignificant compared to the rest. Before everyone says the problem is online dating: I've met the craziest of them all in real life! At work, at events and through friends. What are your experiences? I'm starting to feel like a crazies magnet. Pretty much the same to be honest. Its why I take breaks and is also why at the moment I have stopped looking and decided to just accept being single and go and have fun and enroll in classes and fun activities instead. Both OLD and real life for me too... There are a lot of single people out there who are single for a reason... A good reason! Some of these people are in dysfunctional relationships that are really not going to last. Hence the married guys etc. But once you get through all of that there are a few good cookies that are worth their weight in gold. Its the same for the guys. The decent ones have just the same amount of hassle. They get it as well. I know its hard but take a look around you at the other men in your life, your father, brother, cousins, uncles, friends... men that you are not attracted to for dating or are already taken and you will see that there are far more good cookies in the world than rotten apples. Sometimes the rotten apples can kinda take over a bit and give you a skewed vision but men in general are great!
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