jessidiah Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 2 days before our one year anniversary I was dumped via Skype by my Long-Distance lover and now I am struggling to cope with the loss. We fell in love whilst at university but as he moved 250km away for work and I stayed as a student. Throughout the relationship we always made a good effort to spend weekends together every 2-3 weeks and always said that what we had was worth fighting the distance for. I've been recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which built a wall in our relationship. I began to be disconnected and which made him frustrated and once the seed of doubt was planted it was a quick downfall from there. The last few times we have met it's felt like there was unspoken words hanging in the air which made an uncomfortable atmosphere. I think we both knew that our bubble had been burst and accepted the reality of the situation. We spoke about our feelings and decided that it was time to call it a day and remain friends. I thought this is what I wanted at the time but I'm missing him awfully and the loss hurts. I can't stop thinking about "what if's" and what our future may have brought if we had been able to work it out. My friends and family tell me that we're perfect together and that we will find a way to reunite. I feel like this is building me up for false hope in the relationship. I'm confused about what I want and how to get over the break up. Any advice? 1
Dis Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 2 days before our one year anniversary I was dumped via Skype by my Long-Distance lover and now I am struggling to cope with the loss. We fell in love whilst at university but as he moved 250km away for work and I stayed as a student. Throughout the relationship we always made a good effort to spend weekends together every 2-3 weeks and always said that what we had was worth fighting the distance for. I've been recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression, which built a wall in our relationship. I began to be disconnected and which made him frustrated and once the seed of doubt was planted it was a quick downfall from there. The last few times we have met it's felt like there was unspoken words hanging in the air which made an uncomfortable atmosphere. I think we both knew that our bubble had been burst and accepted the reality of the situation. We spoke about our feelings and decided that it was time to call it a day and remain friends. I thought this is what I wanted at the time but I'm missing him awfully and the loss hurts. I can't stop thinking about "what if's" and what our future may have brought if we had been able to work it out. My friends and family tell me that we're perfect together and that we will find a way to reunite. I feel like this is building me up for false hope in the relationship. I'm confused about what I want and how to get over the break up. Any advice? Hi Jessidiah, I'm so sorry for the pain and confusion youre feeling. I was just dumped a few days ago...I understand. You mentioned your family and friends think you might will reunite with him at some point. Imo its best to get comfortable being on youre own again, trusting yourself, being at peace in your own company. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness, I know that sounds generic but its something I'm learning now and its something thats important to keep in mind during a break up. Wondering about the "what ifs" is normal too. I did the same with my previous ex. Its part of the grieving process. I think its best to let him go. Ive heard, "Its harder to let go than it is to hang on." I think with break ups thats very true. Sometimes you just have to sit with the pain...let yourself feel it. It sounds like your ex was a good guy so maybe its a good idea to be grateful for the time you spent with him and to also be hopeful about the future. I also have first hand experience with depression and anxiety and I know how much it can impact relationships. Now may be a good time to focus on you. Seek treatment for your symptoms and focus on healing yourself. If you are not a whole, complete, happy person you'll never been truly happy with anyone else. I know its uncomfortable for some people to be alone (it is for me) but its something we need to do after a break up. And feeling and processing the pain is part of the aftermath too. I promise you'll come out of this a better stronger person. This can only help you grow 1
DatingDirection Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 You don't need to figure it all out right now. It may just be that you're feeling awful because you closed the chapter in your life that was important to you and always will be, but it had to be closed- for now at least. That may be the awful feeling you have. I could be wrong. Missing him - well that is normal too after a break up. Time will tell and time will heal everything. Just breath, relax and have some alone time, for now. Nothing is written in stone.
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