ohso Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I've been dating a guy for about 6 months. I'm not the type to get married and he is older than me and doesn't want marriage. I have a problem that I'm tired and bored of dates with him. It takes a lot of time and money too. I also get restless when I'm at his place or he's at mine. I couldn't stand us living together and he's fine with that. I feel like I need to be tamed and he's giving me the freedom which is great. But he is not for an open relationship. Since I don't feel we're committed, more like FWB, I'm curious about what else is out there. I don't cheat but I act single and flirt when I feel like it. I do like this guy and I would like to be in a LTR with him. He's not showing sings he's a good relationship material and if he really wants me to be his, he should try a lot harder. How can we make this work? Nothing is really keeping us together but he wants us to be exclusive. I don't understand what he wants from me. Any thoughts?
ses Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Do yourself a favor and end things. You're not happy, and it sounds like he just annoys you. He wants commitment, and you don't. Why are you two together? An open relationship is a serious matter and not supposed to be a precursor to a breakup. You're incompatible, and both deserve someone better.
road Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Do yourself a favor and end things. You're not happy, and it sounds like he just annoys you. He wants commitment, and you don't. Why are you two together? An open relationship is a serious matter and not supposed to be a precursor to a breakup. You're incompatible, and both deserve someone better. He does not want marriage. All he wants is to date exclusively. She wants marriage. I vote dump him.
PegNosePete Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 he wants us to be exclusive. I don't understand what he wants from me. On the contrary, it seems to me that you know exactly what he wants, but it's different than what you want. He wants to date and have sex with you exclusively but nothing more. How can we make this work? You can't. You have fundamentally different goals and objectives here. If you aren't happy with the status quo, and he isn't happy to change things, then you need to end it and find someone with compatible goals.
central Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 You're already bored with each other, so why would you want a LTR relationship with him, open or not? That's the real question. Does he check all the boxes? If that's it, but there's no real compatibility or passion, you should move on. NOW. At best you can be non-exclusive FWB, IMO, but only if he'll agree to that. No marriage, no lasting commitment - you can each move on when someone better comes along. And someone better will come along, given how lack-luster this "relationship" is already.
elaine567 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I've been dating a guy for about 6 months. I'm not the type to get married and he is older than me and doesn't want marriage. I have a problem that I'm tired and bored of dates with him. It takes a lot of time and money too. I also get restless when I'm at his place or he's at mine. I couldn't stand us living together and he's fine with that. I feel like I need to be tamed and he's giving me the freedom which is great. But he is not for an open relationship. Since I don't feel we're committed, more like FWB, I'm curious about what else is out there. I don't cheat but I act single and flirt when I feel like it. I do like this guy and I would like to be in a LTR with him. He's not showing sings he's a good relationship material and if he really wants me to be his, he should try a lot harder. How can we make this work? Nothing is really keeping us together but he wants us to be exclusive. I don't understand what he wants from me. Any thoughts? He wants a woman who is there for him on tap and who is faithful to him. He is offering no real commitment to you, but wants exclusivity. You are bored, you couldn't stand to live with him but you either want him to make some commitment to you or for you to be free in an open relationship. I guess you are only tired and bored with him and "couldn't stand to live with him" as this is going nowhere. YOU are trying to force his hand by suggesting the open relationship, but he is not playing that game and is not changing his position. Frankly you are wasting time, time that could be spent with someone who does want a LTR with you.
mikeylo Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 You ( both ) want same ( and different )things , at the same time ! Sounds exceptionally twisted and there is no working around here. Break up.
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