Shalom of David Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 So my wife 21 left me a little over 3 months ago. She had a few issues but the relationship overall was good she just wasn't happy anymore. I've concluded she has believed there are greener pastures elsewhere. Her lifestyle has been a dramatic change from a sober Christian to a drunk partier. It has been bazaar to watch honestly. She's made several male friends in the mean time that she spends a lot of time with. Apparently one finally asked her out and she was disgusted saying her divorce wasn't final yet and she isn't looking for relationships anytime soon and still loves me (confusing I know). Anywhoo, I've done everything I could think in the first 1.5 months to try and save the marriage but to little avail and only minor breadcrumbs such as "I just don't want to be with you right now" and " maybe in the future". I finally told her I'm done trying but the door will remain open till you at least finalization our divorce. The few times I've been in contact with her sense she's either mad, crying, misses me, arguing or friendly (all over the place). So my question for you guys is should I tell her I know longer am leaving the door open and moving completely on with my life and don't ever try to come back? My thoughts are that might cause her safety net of me being there to disapeer and she can think more clearly about wether or not she wants to totally loose me. I'd have to do this sooner or later anyways and I thought maybe I'd do it now if it would have a positive effect on her thoughts towards reconciliation. What say you guys?! She is 21 I am 23. Together for 4 yrs. She still loves me and has feelings for me as I her.
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Yeah dude. You need to move on with your life. It's not fair for her to run around and party it up while she knows that you're waiting on the sidelines like the obedient husband you are. I take it that someone has filed for a divorce already? Personally, you need to go NC on her. Complete NO CONTACT. You need to block her on Facebook, unfollow her on twitter, instagram....everything. Once she see's that you done that she'll call or text asking why. IGNORE IT! She pulling on the chain to see if the dog is still there. Once she see's the dog is gone, she'll go looking for the dog. If she texts, ignore it (unless it has to do with the divorce or her getting her stuff. If it's about that then give business like short answers. If she gets on any other subject, ignore it). If she calls, let it go to voicemail. If it is about the divorce TEXT her back, don't call. If it isn't about the divorce. IGNORE IT. If she moved out three months ago, then talk to a lawyer and see if it's okay to change the locks since she vacated the home and is living elsewhere. Make sure you can legally do that. Then, close any joint accounts and start new accounts at another bank and have your direct deposits go there. If you have a joint savings, you can take have and put it into your own savings. She needs to know what life is going to be like without you in it. And how do you know that she isn't messing around on you with these other dudes? She states that one of them asked her out and she turned him down? And who told you this? HER?!?! And you believe that? Dude, you have no reason to trust her, so don't. Then, you need to focus on the only thing you have control over and that's YOU! Start making positive changes in your life. Start going to the gym. Get new hobbies. Go out and enjoy life! Do stuff with friends! Travel somewhere! Go somewhere new and get away for a couple of days to clear your head. To energize and decompress. Time to heal and move on dude. You need to start living your life as if she isn't coming back. If she texts or calls. IGNORE IT! Take a deep breath and come here and post about it rather than contact her. Trust me, people will be here to walk you through this.
Marc878 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 She doesn't love you or she wouldn't be doing this. You need to stop the denial and move on. Go dark and get the D ASAP!!!! This would have been a long term miserable life anyway. Luckily your're young and don't have kids. Count your self lucky.
Recommended Posts