etherealbliss Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hi, So i've been dating this guy for 1.5 months talking for 2.5 months. Everything was going wonderful until this week he started to act more distant. Previously he constantly made plans to see me every other day or every 3rd day at most but now I feel like he's avoiding me. I met his friends last week and meeting some relatives next week but I can't understand what may have caused this distance between us except maybe some tension caused by me. So the thing is I told him I want to wait for sex, that I want us to be fully committed, in love, in a serious relationship etc. and I may need to wait at least a few more months to have sex. He said he understands and doesn't mind waiting. Although i'm not sure if he just said it to please me and it turned him off. The thing is when we kiss/make out things get quite hot and heavy at times and then when they are about to escalate I kind of tell him to stop and cool it down a bit. We are very attracted to each other physically obviously but I really don't want it to be just about that. Now i'm wondering does the fact that I stop things when they are about to escalate too much make me seem like a tease? I don't do it on purpose but he is ready to go all the way and I feel like I need to stick to what i've said. I'm conflicted a bit. But do you think this has turned him off of me completely? Is this why he has started distancing from me? How can I handle this situation differently? Should I talk to him about it? I really really like him and don't want to make a mistake.. I hope it's not too late!
Author etherealbliss Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Anyone? I told him I wanna "talk" and he'll probably call me in an hour.. should I bring this up? Thanks
yxalitis Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 OK, let me reply at length... This is my opinion, so bare with me... Ask yourself WHY you put some predetermined, time based restriction on when you can have sex? If you had let one of these hot and heavy sessions proceed naturally to sex, what horrible, awful thing would have happened? Sex is wonderful, this guy clearly likes you, you've been involved for a while, and you've let him get physical to at least a certain level already. Do you think that having sex now will make for a less sustainable relationship, that waiting another week, or month, or whatever will mean that any resultant relationship will automatically be better, last longer...? The time it takes you to first have sex, and the success of that relationship are utterly unrelated. I had sex with my wife of 20 years on the 2nd date. 20 years! Stop putting some arbitrary restriction on when you can have sex, I don';t understand what this is supposed to achieve. Hint, sex and love are far, far more closely related than you may think... Finding love, THEN having sex is all ass about in my opinion, the two are mutual events.
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