Eaglestar83 Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 A friend suggested that I go out with her friend and gave me her number. I text the girl and we started chatting. She suggested that we meet up after she comes back from holiday and would let me know , I agreed and wished her a good time. Three weeks later I didn't hear back so I texted to see if she had a good time, got no reply until yesterday which is a week after I texted. She said "Sorry I'm the worst person ever at replying. I'm in (city).right now but I'm free next Wednesday evening of you want to get a drink after work or something? " Should I ignore? I know it's probably a spin, she is/was either seeing someone else or just got bored now and decided to reply back. What's the best way to handle this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 best way is you decide if you want to see this person. if you do, then reply back and meet up. if you don't, lost interest or whatever, then don't reply. your post just reminded me i have two texts i haven't replied to, one is 2 weeks old, the other one i think going on 3 weeks :-( 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Nah, don't ignore it. I mean, you haven't even met, so she didn't owe you anything. I know it takes just a few seconds to send a text, but some people really do forget. Say yes to a drink after work on Wednesday. You have nothing to lose, but don't fall head over heels yet, in case she does turn out to be flaky. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 If she is interested in meeting you, it's only a superficial interest. I don't think I would bother following it up. Link to post Share on other sites
etherealbliss Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Judging from my own personal experience if someone is very slow in replying like that then their interest is very low. At least at the moment. However, it doesn't hurt to meet up, maybe it'll be different after that. But I wouldn't stick around if she's always slow like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 She replied with a suggestion. I would take that. Yes her interest is low. But you two haven't even gone out I never get too excited about anyone unless I have spent time with them. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Maybe she is playing it cool because she thinks it's desperate that her friend set you up. Have a short date with her. You'll know very quickly if it's going to go anywhere. Go with zero expectations 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eaglestar83 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 Thanks guys, I know she owes me nothing, but she should have either displayed interest and followed through or just ignored me and not replied back, she chose the indecisive, string-someone-along , middle ground attitude. No reason for me to take this one personally, that's prob who she is..I was bit annoyed, at same time am curious to meet her, so here was my reply, lol: "Haha, well, let's hope your other attributes are bit more redeeming ?.... Wednesday is good for me x " Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Well now I know why she ain't so keen... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eaglestar83 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) Lol I know it's bit harsh, but that's fine, if she takes offence and never reply back, am ok with that. I was actually very nice to her up till this point Edited February 25, 2016 by Eaglestar83 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 But your text to her does not reflect how you really feel. The "ha ha" and the winky face you put in are not genuine. You are pretending to be cooler with this than you really are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eaglestar83 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Share Posted February 25, 2016 I know what you mean, but it's neither here or there really, I don't even know her. It all depends on the filter we want to use: a strong filter will protect us from most players but risk blocking out potentially good relationships, a weak filter will do the opposite: open us to many relationships including disastrous ones. It comes with the territory I guess But your text to her does not reflect how you really feel. The "ha ha" and the winky face you put in are not genuine. You are pretending to be cooler with this than you really are. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Good luck. I don't see this going very far. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 Nah, don't ignore it. I mean, you haven't even met, so she didn't owe you anything. I know it takes just a few seconds to send a text, but some people really do forget. Say yes to a drink after work on Wednesday. You have nothing to lose, but don't fall head over heels yet, in case she does turn out to be flaky. She didn't owe him anything but if she was genuinely interested in him, she would not have taken a week to reply. She has already shown he is not a priority so to suggest the then uses his precious time to meet is illogical. I think this is the mistake men and women make, ignoring red flags and then wondering why they ended up wasted their time. As I always say, watch peoples actions and behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
bu2002 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Since you haven't previously met up with her, then I would give it a try. Yes she took a long time to reply, but from your post, she hadn't previously met you. If after that meeting, you're still interested, then ask her out again. If she gives any pushback or delay, then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
AMJ Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 .I was bit annoyed, at same time am curious to meet her, so here was my reply, lol: "Haha, well, let's hope your other attributes are bit more redeeming ?.... Wednesday is good for me x " Woah. Personal attacks before you've even met each other...not a great way to start things off. I feel like the one who is doing the pursuing should be the one who is more persistent and sets the pace. Typically it's the guy. But in this case, it is absolutely you since you asked her out in the first place. Call me old fashioned, but I think it's your job to convince her to go out with you...which includes being a little more persistent with the texts. If a guy lets a texting conversation hang with me for 3 weeks, I figure he's not that interested in meeting me. I realize from your perspective it was her "turn" to respond...but that's really tit-for-tat. Think big picture when it comes to winning over a woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Maybe she is playing it cool because she thinks it's desperate that her friend set you up. Have a short date with her. You'll know very quickly if it's going to go anywhere. Go with zero expectations Interesting take... this is what makes a forum great: you get opinions like this. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Maybe she is playing it cool because she thinks it's desperate that her friend set you up. Have a short date with her. You'll know very quickly if it's going to go anywhere. Go with zero expectations I'm curious: a woman would go quiet, possibly cold, to not come off desperate? Test the man? Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I'm curious: a woman would go quiet, possibly cold, to not come off desperate? Test the man? Could it be, but a week is definitely too much time. A couple hours is a reasonable amount of time to reply without looking desperate. In this case, this girl is probably semi interested, bored, or just broke up with someone. The reply of OP is really bad. If I received that reply, I'd ignore him forever or cancel. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Could it be, but a week is definitely too much time. A couple hours is a reasonable amount of time to reply without looking desperate. In this case, this girl is probably semi interested, bored, or just broke up with someone. The reply of OP is really bad. If I received that reply, I'd ignore him forever or cancel. Well, a friend of mine approached a woman (he was doing work at her office building) handed her a note with his name and number, and told her he'd like to take her out for coffee. She told him she was involved with someone. He said if things don't work out, to let him know. 2 weeks later he got a call from her. She asked if the offer was still good. They ended up getting married. He's my inspiration when it comes to taking chances with women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I know it's probably a spin, she is/was either seeing someone else or just got bored now and decided to reply back. What's the best way to handle this? Personally I would proceed with caution. This is definitely a coffee/drink date something that can be covered with bus fare (<$20). If she flakes or is not your cup of tea, you're not really out anything. Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 It could be anything. Could be that she doesn't want you to think she is that interested. Could be she is very busy and had to sort a few thoughts out first. Could be she is getting hit with all kinds of messages from guys if she has a online dating account. I wouldn't worry too much about it. After a week reply sure! Sounds great! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 I'm curious: a woman would go quiet, possibly cold, to not come off desperate? Test the man? Depending on age and maturity. Under 30 quite possibly. Though after reading the OP's follow up text I'd say she probably didn't like his texting style and likely having words with the friend that set them up Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Lol I know it's bit harsh, but that's fine, if she takes offence and never reply back, am ok with that. I was actually very nice to her up till this point I know what you mean, but it's neither here or there really, I don't even know her. It all depends on the filter we want to use: a strong filter will protect us from most players but risk blocking out potentially good relationships, a weak filter will do the opposite: open us to many relationships including disastrous ones. It comes with the territory I guess I think you need to sharpen those social skills. You come across very defensive Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Call me old fashioned, but I think it's your job to convince her to go out with you...which includes being a little more persistent with the texts. If a guy lets a texting conversation hang with me for 3 weeks, I figure he's not that interested in meeting me. I realize from your perspective it was her "turn" to respond...but that's really tit-for-tat. Think big picture when it comes to winning over a woman. I'm going to remember this. Good post. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts