mylittleone Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I have finally realized and accepted he will never want to date me, for what ever reason I'm simply not right for him. It's taken me a year (wow it really has been a year) to get to this point, however I still feel we missed out on something that could have been great. I'm not sure if that feeling will ever pass, but I hope it does. I agreed to be his fwb in January, in hopes to become his gf (yes I was one of those women) and even as fwb he played games,refused to ask to hook up but was always willing when I asked. I guess my question is should I say it's over to him or just simply stop flirting asking to hook up? Thank you.
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 If you want total closure, then yes make the step to tell him you will no longer see him or have anymore communication with him. Do NOT tell him about your feelings or you wish things had worked out or whatever. You will just look like a damn fool if you let him know of your disappointment....all that will do is leave a door open and YOU need to close it for good. 3
ByMyself01 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Your situation sounds like a similar one I had in the past. I went from being a GF to a fwb without even realizing it. But he would want me to ask him or turn tables over to make it seem like it was only me who wanted to have sex with him. It is a good idea that you are cutting this thing off now. That, I believe is the best decision. I wish I had gotten out of that scenario sooner. Trust me, you will save yourself tons of heartache and pain because I stayed in that scenario until the wheels fell off, meaning he ended it before I had a chance to once he found a woman he wanted to date. As far ass the way you will end it, I say go completely NC. You don't owe him any explanation for you and him are not in a committed relationship. It's clear you are somewhat emotionally attached so NC is the best option right now. 2
Jabron1 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 It depends on how you have been treated. If a woman has been good to me, I will go out of my way to make sure I end things respectfully. But, if someone has treated me badly, they'll be lucky to get a text message. It sounds like this guy is the latter. Do not feel that you have any obligations whatsoever to people that treat you with disrespect. No contact is for the best in these situations.
Author mylittleone Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 NC isn't an option we work together.
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 NC isn't an option we work together. Find a new job, ask for a transfer or get different hours. This is why you should never ever mess around with someone you work with. 2
Redhead14 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I have finally realized and accepted he will never want to date me, for what ever reason I'm simply not right for him. It's taken me a year (wow it really has been a year) to get to this point, however I still feel we missed out on something that could have been great. I'm not sure if that feeling will ever pass, but I hope it does. I agreed to be his fwb in January, in hopes to become his gf (yes I was one of those women) and even as fwb he played games,refused to ask to hook up but was always willing when I asked. I guess my question is should I say it's over to him or just simply stop flirting asking to hook up? Thank you. even as fwb he played games -- You don't owe him anything. He wasn't even a good FWB. Just stop contacting him.
Author mylittleone Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 I know I've learnt my lesson. TBH I feel strong enough to work beside him. I just don't know if I should tell him I no longer want to hook up or just stop without saying anything.
Redhead14 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I know I've learnt my lesson. TBH I feel strong enough to work beside him. I just don't know if I should tell him I no longer want to hook up or just stop without saying anything. You don't have to say anything. Stop calling him, that's all. He wasn't calling you at all apparently. He'll figure it out. 2
Author mylittleone Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 even as fwb he played games -- You don't owe him anything. He wasn't even a good FWB. Just stop contacting him. Your right, he was a **** fwb, I would love to know the reason why he never asked to hook up, but it doesn't matter now.
LoverOfDance Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 He doesn't have to. He knows you will ask because you like him. All he needs to do is wait. And if you don't ask, I think he feels he doesn't care that much so he will simply move on to the next.
Author mylittleone Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 He doesn't have to. He knows you will ask because you like him. All he needs to do is wait. And if you don't ask, I think he feels he doesn't care that much so he will simply move on to the next. OMG you are so right, how was I so blind not to see this. I've decided not to say anything, mainly because I want to see how he reacts.
Lois_Griffin Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 I know I've learnt my lesson. TBH I feel strong enough to work beside him. I just don't know if I should tell him I no longer want to hook up or just stop without saying anything. From what you've described, the guy has no respect for you at all. You're a convenient booty call when he's got nothing better going on. He probably won't think twice about it if you stop contacting him. It may be a while before he has no other options and you suddenly become his 'choice' for the night - and he might reach out to you. Your silence at that point will drive it home to him.
Author mylittleone Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 From what you've described, the guy has no respect for you at all. You're a convenient booty call when he's got nothing better going on. He probably won't think twice about it if you stop contacting him. It may be a while before he has no other options and you suddenly become his 'choice' for the night - and he might reach out to you. Your silence at that point will drive it home to him. I'm sure you're right, I hate looking back at all the excuses I made for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already found a new booty call or girl friend.
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