kasop Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Im 26. Just got out of a serious and toxic relationship. It went on for about a year. This isnt the first time she's left me. Im actually pretty used to it. Anyways its been about 3 weeks and a girl from my past that i had a casual thing with contacts me. Wants to go out for drinks. So i did and was extremely excited about it. It wasent all i thought it would be. We went out again amd she came over to my place. No sex just casual kissing. I want to like this person more then i do but something isnt right. When we were laying in bed watching a movie i couldnt get my mind off my ex. Shes really in to me and im not sure what she wants out of this. I feel pretty emotionaly unavailable right now. I thought maybe this would help me move on but i dont think its working. I dont want to lead this new girl on because i have a heart. But if she wants more then just a casual hook up then idk if im right for her. Any advice LS? Thank you
kendahke Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 My advice is to tell her what you said here--that it's too soon (and it is--3 weeks isn't a lot of time to have gotten over someone, even if things weren't the best), that you don't want to lead her on and you want to keep things casual. If she wants more or says "that's fine", but keep ACTING like she's pushing for more, then you're going to have to stop seeing her, especially at your place where it'd be far too easy to wind up having sex with her. The best way to move on is to go through the unpleasant feelings, not distract yourself with someone else because those feelings will just wait for you to not be distracted. They have to be processed--and that goes for anyone who's on the heels of a loss. 4
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Honest communication is all you need. Tip: don't date anyone for awhile and go find yourself. The best way to heal is to focus on you, so get busy with life.
brokengirl85 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Im 26. Just got out of a serious and toxic relationship. It went on for about a year. This isnt the first time she's left me. Im actually pretty used to it. Anyways its been about 3 weeks and a girl from my past that i had a casual thing with contacts me. Wants to go out for drinks. So i did and was extremely excited about it. It wasent all i thought it would be. We went out again amd she came over to my place. No sex just casual kissing. I want to like this person more then i do but something isnt right. When we were laying in bed watching a movie i couldnt get my mind off my ex. Shes really in to me and im not sure what she wants out of this. I feel pretty emotionaly unavailable right now. I thought maybe this would help me move on but i dont think its working. I dont want to lead this new girl on because i have a heart. But if she wants more then just a casual hook up then idk if im right for her. Any advice LS? Thank you I dont think youre just ready to start something with someone new. I'd say, take it slow. Let her know about this, propose her to date with no expectations for now, and basically do what you feel is right for you at this moment. Don't feel pressured because you might make mistakes that later might hurt you or her. Just one step at a time. If you're not ready for sex yet, don't invite her over. Go to the movies, dinner, walks...
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