Sweetgirl28 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I have met a guy on Okc. We met up a few days ago. He started to text me every night since then asking questions about my day. All was fine until he started to send me pictures. No nudes but childhood pictures. He also sent me the same gym picture twice. Since I liked his personality - despite my doubts about his looks - I agreed to see him again. This time, he became quite dominant as in telling me what not to say. I tend to like "controversial jokes" as he would put it. Although he claimed to like them too, he started to attack me personally because of it. I told him to relax because it's part of getting to know someone. He said he didn't mind such jokes but that other people might. This was turn off #1. The second one was that he didn't try to give me a hug at the end, yet he had been playing footie almost the whole time. I asked if saying bye was it? He said he didn't know what to say. I gave him a hug and left. #3 was that he texted me that same gym pic about 30 min later with the words "because you liked it so much" and a bunch of smiley faces. This is the weirdest person I've met in a long time... He is in his 30s, quite short and he hasn't been in a relationship for longer than a few months... Oh and he claims he wants to date but no relationship. Yet he doesn't make any physical moves on me. He doesn't even compliment me. Sorry for the rant! Is this guy creepy, weird, mentally instable?
PegNosePete Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Sorry for the rant! Is this guy creepy, weird, mentally instable? Does it matter? Either way, you're never going to talk to him again, are you? NEXT 6
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 I agree. I was just wondering if this typical for guys from belfast or not. Cultural difference or just one weird person?
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 No. It's not typical of guys from belfast. I work with a guy from Belfast, and my nearly-next-door-neighbours (2 houses away) are from belfast and have shown no signs of weirdomness, at all. That is weird. Bordering on creepy.... 1
katiegrl Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I agree. I was just wondering if this typical for guys from belfast or not. Cultural difference or just one weird person? Sg28 .... no this is not a cultural difference ... this guy's behavior is beyond disturbing, no matter where he's from. You blocked him, right? 2
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 I did! I think I should give up old for a while...
truth_seeker Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 This is the weirdest person I've met in a long time... Is this guy creepy, weird, mentally instable? I think you answered your own question.
Terry8889 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I don't see anything creepy about what he said about the "controversial" jokes. If by controversial you mean racist, xenophobic, homophobic or anything of that nature then yes he was right to said what he did. If someone I went out in a date with made those kinds of jokes I would think THAT person is creepy. Second him sending a picture twice is not a big deal, some guys are just goofy, like this one guy would sent me random pictures of his nephew who he said he loved or himself at work. He was a sweet guy and seemed normal to me. I would think what your guy did was silly but nothing "creepy" about it. He was just showing off his body to you I guess lol. Third what it is really a turn off is the fact that he wants to date but doesn't want a relationship, why even bother wasting your time and energy on someone who doesn't want what you want. Maybe he is just looking for a friend with benefits. Fourth about the hug, some guys aren't physical specially in early stages of dating. No biggie, unless you're more into physical connection and expectthe same from the other person. Conclusion, don't waste your time any longer his actions can be seen as normal to someone else but it is clearly bothering you, so why even try. Forget him and find someone else. Good luck 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I might be reading this wrong but I'm not sure what makes this guy weird or creepy or unstable...Because he doesn't like your controversial jokes and tells you? Because he didn't hug you goodbye? Because he sent you the same gym pic twice? Those don't seem like reasons to label someone in such a way. If he gives off a bad vibe in person then that's another thing and in that case it's pretty simple...NEXT! It sounds like you've already made up your mind about this guy so...good luck! 7
katiegrl Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 The footsie under the table on the first meet would have sent me running for the door. That IS very creepy. Along with the *dominant* way he told her he did not like her jokes, sending her the same pics with a bunch of smiley faces .....combined with everything else. It all spells creepy IMO. Just me. 1
preraph Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I think the footsie would have done it for me. I had a guy play footsie once, but it wasn't with my actual feet...
introverted1 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Is this guy creepy, weird, mentally instable? Maybe, maybe, who knows. But.... who cares? Why would you want to date him regardless?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 When does weird become creepy? "Creepy" is entirely a variable created and held by females to be applied at the very moment you switch from being drawn to (any random male target) to being disinterested in that same, random male target. If he knows where your locker is... he's "creepy". If he sees you in the hall more than twice a day... he's "creepy". If you randomly share 5 classes together, and he knows your class schedule - he's "especially creepy" 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 My joke wasn't racist, homophobic or anything along those lines... Yes, the footsie was creepy. He tries to play with my feet but not hug me?? His conversations don't flow well. He doesn't understand sarcasm. He doesn't pick up on social cues...
Chris2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 My joke wasn't racist, homophobic or anything along those lines... Yes, the footsie was creepy. He tries to play with my feet but not hug me?? His conversations don't flow well. He doesn't understand sarcasm. He doesn't pick up on social cues... I don't get it. If the footsie was creepy. Wouldn't the hug be creepier? Yep, you've made up your mind about this guy. Move on. And let him move on. 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 Playing footsie on a first date is weird. I think many women would agree to that. I tend to hug people when I say goodbye. It's not any different on dates, although I may not like the person or may not want to see them again. Which brings me to my point; I would expect a hug after a second date. So why is it ok to play footsie but not give a hug to say goodbye? Twice?! That just doesn't sound right to me.
katiegrl Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) I don't get it. If the footsie was creepy. Wouldn't the hug be creepier? Oh come on. A hug is normal after meeting or after a date. But who the hell plays footsie under the table during the first meet with a chick? You don't find that strange? Seriously? Would you Chris? OP, he probably has some weird foot fetish or something, and yes it is VERY creepy! Edited February 26, 2016 by katiegrl
Jimmyjackson Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Oh come on. A hug is normal after meeting or after a date. But who the hell plays footsie under the table during the first meet with a chick? You don't find that strange? Seriously? Would you Chris? OP, he probably has some weird foot fetish or something, and yes it is VERY creepy! Who the hell plays footsies at all?
katiegrl Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 Who the hell plays footsies at all? I dunno, couples in LTR might when out to dinner or at a dinner party with a group. Sort of like their little private game among a group of people.... I could see that. But NOT with a complete stranger during a first meet. As I said earlier, if a man did that to me.... I politely excuse myself and leave.
strawberryshortstack Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 My joke wasn't racist, homophobic or anything along those lines... Yes, the footsie was creepy. He tries to play with my feet but not hug me?? His conversations don't flow well. He doesn't understand sarcasm. He doesn't pick up on social cues... Sounds like he may be on the autism spectrum, but that alone doesn't make him "creepy"
GravityMan Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 That guy sounds VERY socially awkward. I suspect that he has had a rather unorthodox and idiosyncratic past, and not in a good way. Anyway, there's "good" weird and there's "bad" weird. Plenty of people have a few eccentricities...but also have good social awareness and emotional intelligence, therefore they don't make others feel uncomfortable (on a first date or otherwise). They often make for great friends, coworkers and interesting romantic partners. OTOH, the folks who exhibit "bad" weird traits, actions, sayings and gestures tend to give off bad vibes which will make many others' skin crawl.
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted February 27, 2016 Author Posted February 27, 2016 Sounds like he may be on the autism spectrum, but that alone doesn't make him "creepy" I was starting to assume that too. It would explain him never having been in a LTR. Nevertheless, whether he is on the spectrum or not, his behavior is not appropriate in this society. Forcing me to pay for a second drink, telling me my hair is not thick (and it is because I always need a haircut when it gets past shoulder length since it's so heavy), not wanting to give a goodbye hug, never complimenting me, telling me what I should and should not say, the footsie,... Regardless of what's going on with him, I feel like this is too much to handle for me. I'd rather date a guy that doesn't do these things. It comedy across as creepy. Seems like most people here agree so I'm sure it's not just me.
SunnyWeather Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 I couldn't get past this: "This time, he became quite dominant as in telling me what not to say. ...he started to attack me personally because of it. " why would you even stick around after that?
iff Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 Sigh you two aren't compatible simple as that. You should at least do him the favor and copy and paste everything you thought was weird/creepy about him. He'll hopefully take note of everything he did wrong and fix it for the next girl. There is one thing it seems people don't realize, proper dating and social interaction isn't something people are born with. It is something people learn over time. Not giving a hug at the end of the date, not paying for you, not complimenting you, not flirting in a way you appreciate? Guy hasn't been on many dates, and he might feel hugging is just something weird to do right away. I don't hug people I hardly know. I'm shy and if the date didn't go well I wouldn't hug anyways. Footsies? Guy is probably just trying to act cute, it's a bit immature, but it's something you'd expect from an elementary student. Since he hasn't learned proper social interaction yet then he acts ways he believes would be proper as if he was in elementary school.
joseb Posted February 27, 2016 Posted February 27, 2016 his behavior is not appropriate in this society. Forcing me to pay for a second drink, telling me my hair is not thick (and it is because I always need a haircut when it gets past shoulder length since it's so heavy), not wanting to give a goodbye hug, never complimenting me, telling me what I should and should not say, the footsie,... This guy sounds very off. But I'll just pull you up on those 2 in bold. It's 2016, I think it's not unreasonable to share drink rounds. In Ireland, it's actually pretty rude not to offer to get your round. I rarely complement a girl on anything physical on a first date because I feel it's trying too hard to impress her and sounds phoney. If there is something that crops up in conversation then maybe, but I certainly don't look to do it. As for the rest of that list...yeah this guy is Weird.
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