kadmoore Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. I am 22 and je is 23. I am his first girlfriend.Out of these 4 months , 2 and a half of them were spent long-distance because we go to college in different cities. During the long-distance period, we texted each other once every 4-5 days and skyped once a week or once every 2 weeks. There was never any time of consistent communication. I felt single most of the time. Now he is in my town until Mai for an internship. I honestly thought that our relationship would grow and flourish now that we can see each other more often. I was wrong. I make an effort to go to his place 3 times a week since I live with my parents. We literally do nothing every single time I'm there. He always wants to lay down and watch TV and sometimes go on the Internet. We barely talk at all, even when together. Maybe it is due to lack of common interesrs..It is very boring. Sometimes I even sit and watch him play games. I am starting to think there is something wrong here. If I tell him I can't come over, he does not seem bothered at all. He can go days without talking to me or seeing me. If I come over or not he doesn't seem to care. I recently told him I'd like to go out more , do activities together like going out to eat or mini golf and he had no interest in going out ALONE with me. He said that if I go out with my friends he would come along, but does not seem to want to go out alone with me at all. This week he went to the movies and to a bar with his friends and he never asks me to do anything of the sort. We get along ok on the surface, but it seems like we're not that close for a couple. I don't understand what is going on. I'm starting to think either he doesn't really like me or we are completely incompatible. I have no idea what he's getting out of the relationship or what I'm getting out of it. Yet he doesn't seem to want to break up. It's like our relationship is dead and it has not even started. We're not bonding or getting to know each other more. It's completely static and I do not know what to do. I was hoping to gain some perspective here. Thank you.
clia Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 This doesn't sound like much of a relationship. You should move on and find a guy who you are more compatible with. It doesn't even sound like the two of you have any fun together. There is no way I'd be hauling myself over to a guy's house three times a week to watch TV. 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I agree with clia, this isn't a relationship it's a friendship barely one at that. He's not making any kind of effort at all which is one enormous red flag. Your only 4 months into your relationship which means you're supposed to be in the "honeymoon" phase ESPECIALLY having been in a LDR and now finally together! You should be all over each other for heaven's sake. I think you know in your gut this isn't right. Perhaps it's time to move on and find someone whose willing to make the effort. Good luck.
TaraMaiden2 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 You will gain some perspective here. A broader one, with a fuller horizon, and him not in the picture. Not only a better perspective, but a new one. I dunno.... when I first met my H, and we had to separate due to work commitments about 3 months into our relationship, when we finally met up again, we couldn't get enough of each other.... Doesn't sound as if you're even on the same plane, let alone page.... Ugh. Don't you feel butterflies? If all you feel is a crushing disappointment, and a hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach, what do you think is happening now that could possibly make this better? Exactly....
introverted1 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. I am 22 and je is 23. I am his first girlfriend.Out of these 4 months , 2 and a half of them were spent long-distance because we go to college in different cities. During the long-distance period, we texted each other once every 4-5 days and skyped once a week or once every 2 weeks. There was never any time of consistent communication. I felt single most of the time. So you were dating for all of 6 weeks before you went LDR and you considered yourself bf/gf in that short period of time? What did your dates look like then?
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 You think you are in a relationship & you had this vision in your head about what that looks like. To him you are just there & he doesn't much care whether it's virtual & LDR or the next room. Your vision for your being together doesn't mesh. So the Q becomes are you going to do anything to motivate him to get off the couch & do stuff with you; accept his slug like behavior / preferences or walk away to find a more exciting guy with whom you are more compatible?
Wewon Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 His indifference is off putting even to the point of being passive aggressive. I would consider moving on, I doubt that I would officially do a break up, simply stop corresponding with him.
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