cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) Hi, 5 weeks ago i met a guy online and we really hit it off. I live in Europe and he lives in the US but because I travel a lot this wasn’t an issue. We talked everyday (and night) on whatsapp and called about twice a week. We’d send pictures and videos all the time. He followed me on Instagram and friended me on facebook. He is dealing with personal stuff (2years clean and sober) but we could talk about everything and we didn’t keep secrets. He told me he was falling for me and wants to meet me and I feel the same way. He hasn't been in a relationship since he got clean. Last Saturday we were just texting like usual and we were getting close to setting a date, but out of nowhere my last text on whatsapp didn’t come through. After a couple of hours i started getting a weird feeling so checked his FB. Turns out he blocked me on FB, instagram, Whatsapp and my phonenumber. I don’t get it and feel really sad about it. Why would he do his? Will i hear from him again? Edited February 25, 2016 by cskk87 1
PegNosePete Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Maybe his girlfriend / wife / prison warden / parents found out he was talking to you and forbade him from contacting you ever again. It doesn't really pay to dwell on these issues. The fact is your "potential relationship" such that it was with him, is now over. It really doesn't matter why, it just is. You need to forget him and move on. 3
Author cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 Maybe his girlfriend / wife / prison warden / parents found out he was talking to you and forbade him from contacting you ever again. It doesn't really pay to dwell on these issues. The fact is your "potential relationship" such that it was with him, is now over. It really doesn't matter why, it just is. You need to forget him and move on. I know it's the not knowing that really bothers me. I am pretty sure he didn't have a girlfriend because we would talk 24/7 and call whenever, it didn't feel like he was hiding anything.
PegNosePete Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Yeah, unfortunately most likely you will never know. There's certainly no way anyone on here can make a guess... it could be any one of a million reasons.
smudge21 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 The not knowing will eat you up inside and hold you back for as long as you let it. It can be hard, but you need to try your best to shrug this one off before you get too attached to those "what if" moments. 1
Author cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 The not knowing will eat you up inside and hold you back for as long as you let it. It can be hard, but you need to try your best to shrug this one off before you get too attached to those "what if" moments. True I've been obsessing over it for days now. Going over our last conversation over and over again, but I can't think of anything that went wrong. His last words were "I'm so looking forward to seeing you :love:" and then within seconds I was blocked. Makes no sense at all.
smudge21 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 True I've been obsessing over it for days now. Going over our last conversation over and over again, but I can't think of anything that went wrong. His last words were "I'm so looking forward to seeing you :love:" and then within seconds I was blocked. Makes no sense at all. It never will make sense. I once had so much interest from one girl, talk of going away, spending so much time together.. and then she took it all back the following day. No reason, no explanation, nothing. Pulled my hair out trying to solve that puzzle but eventually just had to simply put it down to that some people are just plain stupid, and therefore do stupid things. Make sure he's blocked too (yes, I know how hard that can be.. you know, just in case he comes back) and move on any way you can. People like that are not worth your energy or time.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I would place money on the fact that he's got another girl in his life. Maybe has a girlfriend, maybe an ex came back, maybe he started talking to someone local. In the end, you just need a little time to detach. It's a good thing you never met him. 1
Wewon Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hi, 5 weeks ago i met a guy online and we really hit it off. I live in Europe and he lives in the US but because I travel a lot this wasn’t an issue. We talked everyday (and night) on whatsapp and called about twice a week. We’d send pictures and videos all the time. He followed me on Instagram and friended me on facebook. He is dealing with personal stuff (2years clean and sober) but we could talk about everything and we didn’t keep secrets. He told me he was falling for me and wants to meet me and I feel the same way. He hasn't been in a relationship since he got clean. Last Saturday we were just texting like usual and we were getting close to setting a date, but out of nowhere my last text on whatsapp didn’t come through. After a couple of hours i started getting a weird feeling so checked his FB. Turns out he blocked me on FB, instagram, Whatsapp and my phonenumber. I don’t get it and feel really sad about it. Why would he do his? Will i hear from him again? Who knows? Its strange that he would do that. Granted nothing weird was revealed during your conversations. 1
Author cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 I would place money on the fact that he's got another girl in his life. Maybe has a girlfriend, maybe an ex came back, maybe he started talking to someone local. In the end, you just need a little time to detach. It's a good thing you never met him. But even if he did, why did he first talk to me on Saturday telling me he was gonna ask his boss for some days off of work so we could spend time together when I would come over. We were both online at the time, he replied to my text, and while I was typing my response he blocked me. Within seconds after his text. So weird.
Phoenician Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 dear , you are lucky ! to discover him at this stage ! he was just looking at you as a backup plan , and he found out a more affordable/available prospect or got back to an existing one . Some people are just like this . So where you looking for a serious relationship with this guy ? my advise to you is that never base your emotions on similar situations ; I have been in this ship many times . The feelings are exagerated when remote . one time I fell in a similar trap and discovered that the person I am meeting is totally different from inside than of what I thought ....
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 But even if he did, why did he first talk to me on Saturday telling me he was gonna ask his boss for some days off of work so we could spend time together when I would come over. We were both online at the time, he replied to my text, and while I was typing my response he blocked me. Within seconds after his text. So weird. OP, you have no idea if that was even true. A lot of people online talk out of their butt. He could be a total player, saying all the things you want to hear to keep you hooked. As soon as someone else caught his eye, especially if she is local...poof. He's gone. Don't stress about it. And in the future, don't get too attached to someone before you meet them in person. Before that, you don't really know who you're talking to. 2
loveflower Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 But even if he did, why did he first talk to me on Saturday telling me he was gonna ask his boss for some days off of work so we could spend time together when I would come over. We were both online at the time, he replied to my text, and while I was typing my response he blocked me. Within seconds after his text. So weird. This guy is very cruel and has no class and consideration of your feeling. The least he could do is say goodbye instead of leaving you hanging there. good riddance.
brokengirl85 Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hi, 5 weeks ago i met a guy online and we really hit it off. I live in Europe and he lives in the US but because I travel a lot this wasn’t an issue. We talked everyday (and night) on whatsapp and called about twice a week. We’d send pictures and videos all the time. He followed me on Instagram and friended me on facebook. He is dealing with personal stuff (2years clean and sober) but we could talk about everything and we didn’t keep secrets. He told me he was falling for me and wants to meet me and I feel the same way. He hasn't been in a relationship since he got clean. Last Saturday we were just texting like usual and we were getting close to setting a date, but out of nowhere my last text on whatsapp didn’t come through. After a couple of hours i started getting a weird feeling so checked his FB. Turns out he blocked me on FB, instagram, Whatsapp and my phonenumber. I don’t get it and feel really sad about it. Why would he do his? Will i hear from him again? He blocks you when you were close to set a date. My guess is he just wanted some online excitement with you (did you guys talked about sex? Did he asked you to send him sexy pics or videos??) Who knows. What we know is that he's not interested in talking to you anymore, as you've already have discovered. 1
Author cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 He blocks you when you were close to set a date. My guess is he just wanted some online excitement with you (did you guys talked about sex? Did he asked you to send him sexy pics or videos??) Who knows. What we know is that he's not interested in talking to you anymore, as you've already have discovered. We didnt send sexy video's or pics, just normal or funny ones. We discussed having sex on our date if we both wanted to but nothing more than that.
truth_seeker Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 Hi, 5 weeks ago i met a guy online and we really hit it off. I live in Europe and he lives in the US but because I travel a lot this wasn’t an issue. We talked everyday (and night) on whatsapp and called about twice a week. We’d send pictures and videos all the time. He followed me on Instagram and friended me on facebook. He is dealing with personal stuff (2years clean and sober) but we could talk about everything and we didn’t keep secrets. He told me he was falling for me and wants to meet me and I feel the same way. He hasn't been in a relationship since he got clean. Last Saturday we were just texting like usual and we were getting close to setting a date, but out of nowhere my last text on whatsapp didn’t come through. After a couple of hours i started getting a weird feeling so checked his FB. Turns out he blocked me on FB, instagram, Whatsapp and my phonenumber. I don’t get it and feel really sad about it. Why would he do his? Will i hear from him again? Like others have written, it's over. I feel terrible he did this to you but you have to be strong and move on. I've been there and it sucks. You're not alone in feeling this way. Number of reasons he did this: 1) There's another woman in his life and he had to block you in fear of getting caught OR he got caught and was forced to block you. 2) He's mentally unstable, had an episode and decided to block you for whatever crazy reason. 3) He's a scammer. He wanted to get to know you, look into your personal social media profiles, didn't find anything that screamed: "I can milk this woman for money" and dropped you. I wouldn't be surprised if this were the case because he's overseas. 4
Zahara Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 I know it's the not knowing that really bothers me. I am pretty sure he didn't have a girlfriend because we would talk 24/7 and call whenever, it didn't feel like he was hiding anything. You can't "pretty sure" about anything when you're dealing with someone that's thousands of miles away depending solely on what they say or what they do. His gf/wife/partner could have been on travel. Maybe she was away for those 5 weeks. Now that she's back he's had to cut off all contact. Who knows. Or maybe he just enjoyed the attention he was getting from you and found someone else who was physically close by to play with. Just because someone says so and or comes of a certain way, it doesn't always mean it's genuine. 3
soleilesquire Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 But even if he did, why did he first talk to me on Saturday telling me he was gonna ask his boss for some days off of work so we could spend time together when I would come over. We were both online at the time, he replied to my text, and while I was typing my response he blocked me. Within seconds after his text. So weird. In short, it was probably a game and fantasy to him, and pretending to come visit was part of that. I would almost bet my paycheck he is married.
Author cskk87 Posted February 25, 2016 Author Posted February 25, 2016 In short, it was probably a game and fantasy to him, and pretending to come visit was part of that. I would almost bet my paycheck he is married. I will probably never know. I will just block him and try to move on because obsessing over this is not going to solve anything. 1
Buddhist Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 He did this because he liked having a fake online 'relationship' where he could flirt and fantasize without every being expected to do anything about it. End of story. Don't read things into this, some guys are just like that. They aren't worth crying into your pillow over. 1
joseb Posted February 25, 2016 Posted February 25, 2016 OP unless you are desperate for a green card or something, stop trying to have "relationships" with people online. Chances are he has a gf/is married/is completely different than his online avatar. Very likely he never intended meeting you. If you are looking for a relationship, look around you. 2
ilovemefirst Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 He will be back. Ive seen this happen way too often to people i know. I would suggest letting him go and moving on, because at the end of the day..do you want someone like that in your life? You will never be able to rely on him. Perhaps he is married or has a girlfriend you do not know about...whatever it is, hes secretive and clearly has issues.
SugarLips72 Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 A million reasons but he blocked you for a reason. My guess is he is married or in a relationship. Those are the big red flags. It is unfortunate he wasted your time and was not totally honest with you on something. Sorry.
Author cskk87 Posted February 26, 2016 Author Posted February 26, 2016 OP unless you are desperate for a green card or something, stop trying to have "relationships" with people online. Chances are he has a gf/is married/is completely different than his online avatar. Very likely he never intended meeting you. If you are looking for a relationship, look around you. No I'm not desperate for a green card or anything else. He just commented on one of my pictures on instagram and we started talking casually at first. It just got more serious because we both enjoyed talking to eachother. He told me a lot of personal stuff and sent pictures of his relatives and selfies of him with friends when they were hanging out. It just felt real.
EatYourVeggies Posted February 26, 2016 Posted February 26, 2016 He just commented on one of my pictures on instagram and we started talking casually at first. He told me a lot of personal stuff and sent pictures of his relatives and selfies of him with friends when they were hanging out. It just felt real. After this much time and the countless horror stories we have heard from friends, co-workers, family, etc... Taking social media or online dating seriously until you have actually meet and know for a fact they haven't lied about their gender, age, height, weight, sexual preference, relationship / marital status, etc. is really on you. Next time, forget the Pen Pal BS and have a date, cup of coffee, etc. scheduled very early on. Otherwise, you might as well get a job at AshleyMadison, have more variety and get paid a fortune while you are at it. They are in desperate need of women who enjoy being Pen Pals with their their customers whom you never have to meet. 1
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